It's OK to admit your not ok 

Hey readers,

Today was a day that decided to take action over something that I’ve been in denial about for a while now and that is an increase in being very depressed. I have OCD so the thoughts are very intrusive and fast firing in my head and constantly checking things so enough is enough. My mood is really low and just a sense of dread followed with complete sadness.

I am on medication, however, for a month or two ago I decided to reduce one medication. I forgot what depression had felt like. When you have been taking medication for so long it suppresses your emotions. Which to be fair has been good as it means you can manage the day but you believe the mindset has shifted therefore believing that you don’t suffer as much.
Another reason why I wanted to reduce my medication is the weight gain. However, I think it is a small price to pay compared to waking up angry/crying/ suicidal etc.  I prefer to be fat and less breakdown than the alternative.

So, Today I took action, I spoke to my husband and booked an appointment to doctor to discuss the matter. Hopefully, the doctor can alter it, it may fall down to me having to go and be referred to a psychiatrist to get the issue resolved. 

However, in the past, I have used coupling counselling to express how I was feeling and explaining the things I do and the things I can’t change in a safe environment. It helped create a better communication especially since being a parent with mental health problems. To find out what couple counselling is all about then do check out this website https://www.regain.us/start/ which explains coupling counselling in more detail.

Yep, so it is just a ramble but glad I took action. Because it is ok to take medication and it is ok to not be ok. I still even now struggle to be open about my depression. It is hard when mental illness is viewed so negatively. I decided to write my thoughts down as a way to help me and allow other people who may be of interest in reading in this and no you are not allowed. It is a fight worth fighting for.

Cheers for reading X

How to create blog ideas

Hey readers,

Have you ever suffered from writer’s block and need inspiration for ideas? Well look no further as I tell you some fab places to find content inspiration for your blog or whatever you need it for.

Here are my Six ways to find inspiration to write.

1) Obviously, a classic place would be to look on websites that relates to topics of interests, such as Mumsnet, huffington post or even general newspapers.

2) A way to generate ideas is to do a thing called a mind map where you put you focus theme in the middle and generate sub categories relating to the main theme. You don’t have to write sentences just words, pictures anything that generates an idea. I find it a really relaxing to get your creative juices flowing so to speak.

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3) Third tip is a classic one and that is to read other people’s blogs that may be of similar interests to you. It can really help inspire when reading other people’s work.

4) Look at tweetchats on twitter as it is really good for getting you thinking. There are many  regular chats on twitter, on a variety of topics so there is plenty of choice and look at things that may appeal to you to write about.

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5) If you are on WordPress you can go to the section called reader allowing you to search on whatever word you type in. It with give you all the WordPress posts that relate to that aspect and it is really fantastic way of getting ideas.

6) Look up themes for a month or time of year you can find different ideas or do the block challenge which has a certain theme for each day can be really helpful in challenging you to write. also looking up Pacific days of the year for celebrations around the ones can really help find topic ideas and I’ve had really successful place in the past because of that.

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where do you find inspiration for blog content?

Cheers for reading X


 

Food to fall in love with 

Hey readers,

We are now in Autumn season *celebratory dance* and  forget about salads and light meals, move on and welcome comfort food to warm you on a cold day. I love this season as it all about warmth, enjoying good food and spending time together at home.

I seem to really enjoy cooking and baking more in the colder days. Maybe because there is only so much rain you can deal with and it is great way to do something at home. Here are some of my favourite food to munch on during fall time.

Toast so simple but so lovely with a couple tea. Alternatively, can’t beat toast with some scrummy yummy soup to fill your tummy up. I love classic soups such as tomato or veggie soup especially if I have come home from being outside in the cold.

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I am such a carb junkie in the autumn season, whether it is pasta or potatoes to help keep you full and cosy.

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If you’re looking for sweet treats you can’t go wrong with pies – apple, plum and pumpkin make the perfect pudding.

When it fast approaches bonfire/Halloween time hot dogs, apples laced in toffee followed by hot chocolate are the ultimate contesters  for going out in the evening cold.

If you’re sick of all the sweet stuff then there is ample amounts of fruit and vegetables during the harvest season. Can’t beat carbs whether it be Mash, or roasts now is the time to stock up. Alongside potatoes there is parsnips, sweet potatoes, pears, apples and figs to keep you healthy. It is also a fun way to get an autumn activity going to pick your own, as there is nothing finer than eating fresh fruit or vegetables the you have picked by your fair hands.

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what kind of food do you like during the autumn season?

Cheers for reading X


10 reasons why Facebook sucks 

Hey readers,

I hate Facebook, don’t get me wrong Facebook has a place for instance, I like the selling pages and promoting my blog. However, there are some things on Facebook that really gets on my goat, so let me share them with.

1) the first one involves the selling pages, when you’re scrolling through what people are selling and the price is free and then you go into the description of the item and it says make an offer. To me this is misleading as you think it is one thing and it turns out it is something completely different. I would much prefer it to be free or have a price tag, know where you stand.

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2) Facebook friends that promote pyramid schemes such as Younique beauty products. I don’t want you spam on my timeline with advertisement for this scheme nor do I want your request to buy a £23 mascara, enough said.

3) The need to portray a false perception of life where everything is Rose-tinted and perfect. This can make you feel crap when you’re at home and your life is nowhere near as beautiful as their false perception. I believe that this is not healthy just to constantly see the positive, you got to have the ying with the yang.

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4) When people statues are cryptic with messages about having enough or can’t coping anymore and then when someone asks why they say oh it’s nothing don’t worry about it. reeks of attention seeking behaviour so don’t bother or if you want to talk to someone in private then direct message them.

5) The constant gamers requests, I do not want to help you harvest your field in FarmVille. I will not change my mind even on the 5000th time.

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6) When you get friends request from Rita, Sue and Bob who you haven’t heard from for 20 years, suddenly decide to want to be your friends on Facebook, thank you but no keep your sticky beak out of it.

7) Over the years Facebook has changed. Facebook now appears to focus on commercial ads or sponsored content and it’s just something that’s not appealing to me. If I wanted to shop I would go and hunt for something, I don’t need any recommendations.

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8) Now I know there is Pinterest which is the modern time waster but Facebook still has a place in this role. You can lose valuable time getting lost in random stuff.

9) The fact that Facebook app uses so much RAM and kills your battery and you need another app for Faccebook Messenger.

10) I have questions around how much power Facebook has over data and how they store in that information.

Cheers for reading X

Autumn Clothes Wishlist 2017

 

Hey readers,

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It is September which means change of seasons. As you probably have seen the Autumn clothes are coming into the shops. I love this time of year especially in relation to fashion. I love the comfort of knitted wear, tights and autumn colours in clothing. I brilliant website is Lyst for all your fashion needs on one website and curated to your tastes.

I have deviced a wish list of some of the items I have spotted that I am lusting over and perfect for the autumn season.

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1) I am loving this fun red animal print from Asos, I like the way that it is loose and funky design (£16.00).

2) Jumpers are stable pieces during the autumn season, I love this simple but warm soft knit from Monki  (£15.00).

3) Now the next piece is a bold number but that bright yellow jumpsuit from BooHoo to brighten up dreay day. It is in the sales as well for £6.00 – bargain!

4) I just love cable type jumpers and this red is to die for. It is from BooHoo and currently is £4.00 in the sales, so be quick to pick it up.

5) Finally, I present you this lovely dress from Asos. I think it is clear to say I am attracted to the colour red. I really like the thrills and it is something that you can wear most of the year with or without tights, so it is a real bargain in my eyes (£12.00).

Hope you have found some inspiration.

Cheers for reading X

Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

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We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X

 

 

Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

 

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!