On the side line 

Hey readers,

When I was a child I did this thing called masking, aka faking it and what this means is that I learnt the behaviour of others. The problem being is that if something changes that I can mess up badly because I can’t be flexible with my thinking. That is the one of the characteristics of autism is we manage change and see things  black or white especially when it comes to learn.

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I think it’s really hard being an autistic girl growing up because there is so much more pressure to be sociable then a boy. That all the boys got away with not getting noticed there for less social pressure. I used to absolutely hate being a girl because of this reason and I thought boys had it a lot easier or more relaxed attitude with regards to social and communication which suited me perfectly.

Now that I’m an adult I find it a bit more easier because I have more experience and knowledge but I still frequently mess up. If I am feeling anxious or if there is too much going on in my head can’t seem to focus on the rules. There are times when stressful factors cause me more brain power than normal and it is like I regress in my behaviour. That is why it’s so hard to measure autism, as it is not something that you can say x y and z it’s constantly shifting depending on the environment and mindset of that individual.

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Since being a parent I have learnt that there are so many other social rules involved when bringing up a child.

I first it’s lovely when my children where new born as there is less pressure on me to be sociable but since my child has started school last year I noticed that there’s a hell of a lot more interaction going on.

Me being an autistic parent does affects my self esteem. A lot of the time I feel inadequate,  especially as my husband is very good at communicating and engaging with others. It leaves me feeling really angry and frustrated. I know comparing is the worst thing to do but it coincides with me learning of other people.

I think  one of the hardest and upsetting things is when  people don’t see you as an individual but some sort of invalid because you’re autistic. They don’t look past the label or they do but then they just talk down to you in a condescending way. The thing is I am aware exactly what is happening, I just I don’t have the skills to communicate and express myself as clearly as other people do.

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It has really made me feel quite low at times because I feel like I can’t give my child everything that a typical parent has to offer. I suppose that is why I enjoy the school holidays more because I don’t have to worry about the social things. The only downside is that when I return I have to deal with the social side of education and what not.I feel rubbish and I have felt very very low causing me to struggle to get up in the mornings. I have also learnt to avoid situations and tend to get my husband to do them tasks because it’s too upsetting at times to have to face the discrimination against me. I think that’s one of the saddest things about being an autistic parent is the fact that you deal with a lot of rejection or misunderstanding. I like my voice isn’t heard and again that familiar Outcast feeling appears.

Cheers for reading X

Twin Mummy and Daddy
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Why I disagree with buying teachers presents

Hey readers,

It is the summer holiday break up today and as I took my son to school I witnessed the amount of presents a lot of parents brought with them to hand out to the teachers.

I be honest, I don’t believe in giving teachers presents because for one I am forced to take my child to school and ok I could go down the route of home schooling but I am just capable and I want to give my son the best opportunities.  I am a strong believer in giving people the choice and it feels a little bit false, in the fact that there is pressure from Clintons etc. I believe in choice and it just feels like you have to do it.

Part of me sees it as a competition from parents to get the present (but that is a whole new political post of its own). I wonder whether there is a bit of arse linking because if they are giving praise etc. it can influence how they view the child.

OK, now it’s that some are genuine and what to do something to say thank you to their teacher for helping their child. But what happens if you don’t have the funds and some people can’t even afford a spare quid, so don’t give me that one.

thank you techer

Why do we have to buy material stuff, ok it is easier to buy a box of chocolates, it just seems that to say thank you to the teacher to buy them stuff. It is peer pressures at its finest, if you haven’t brought a teacher something then there is a change you feel guilty or embarrassed. I don’t think parents should have to feel like this but I know some people do.

So, therefore I believe that it should be band to buy stuff for teachers as parents have enough stuff to buy and find the money (I know this struggle I have been there it makes you feel totally crap as a parent).

Cheers for reading X

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Twin Mummy and Daddy

Dealing with chub rub

Hey readers,

Today is 30 degrees outside which means hot and sweaty weather, perfect for us fat people (like myself) or thought it is not just an overweight persons problem but anyone really who has thighs that touch.  What better thing to weather is a skirt or a dress  to help keep you cool, One problem with this idea and it is the awful CHUB RUB. 

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If you have never heard of the term chub rub it is basically where your thighs sweat so much and rub together causing friction which results in painful red area and could potentially lead to painful blister. Something that you want to experience especially when also dealing with the heat.

So, how do you deal with chub rub you are asking?well, for a short term relief you could use talc powder/deodorant or similar to help, the only downfall is that it is short lived and sweating loads can cause it not to be effective.

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Of course there is the trusted cycling shorts to but barrier between your thighs. Fantastic and I can declare it works. Downside is that it is an extra layer of clothing, meaning more sweat. Which if you ok with it  then go ahead. For me I hate sweat and what to feel as comfortable as possible.

Next is this product called Lanacane anti-chaffing gel which works wonders and lasts a long time. I keep it in my bag in case I need to add any more when I am out and about. It is a bit pricey but so worth it. This is not a review, but my own personal opinion on the this product.  It is non-greasy and after it feels silky so really nice feel on your skin. lanacane chaffing gel

How do you deal with chub rub? Love to hear other people’s tips.

Cheers for reading X

This is not a review, it is just me wanting to share my experience of  ways to deal with chub rub.

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Twin Mummy and Daddy

MIU Color picnic blanket and water bottle review

Hey readers,

I was asked by the people of Miu Color to review a picnic beach blanket and a glass water bottle.

Firstly,  I went out went out with my youngest to give both items a whirl.

With the picnic blanket what I liked about it is the size (At 5’x6.5) is really good, easily could get me, hubby and two children sitting on it.

It is wipe clean, which is really handy, especially for just  a quick mop over with small spillages. It has a water and sand proof, fabulous for this time of year for when we head to the beach. It is really well padded as well with the two layer compared to some of the other similar items on the market.

I like the colour and the stripes, really vibrant and fun design. It has a handle on the blanket so brilliant if you want to hold it. Or alternatively it is really compact when folded up and excellent in putting it in my backpack which makes life a lot easier when you have children in tow.

The blanket folds away really nicely with the Velcro stripe so it is all held in once. Making it much tidier and in order, which is really attractive feature for me.

Someone is in their element 😉

 

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The water bottle is made of glass and comes with a silicon sleave. Mine was grey but there are alternative options with regards to colour. I really like the design it is slick and I lie the fact there is little circle windows, so you can see the liquid in the bottle.

The bottle is environmentally friendly and is BPA, PVC, Plastic and Lead Free. The bottle is made with borosilicate glass—the gold standard for safe, environmentally-friendly glassware. I find it really light weight actually.

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The bottle comes with brushes so great to get to the bottle and it is super easy to clean.  I liked the little lop holder at the top of the bottle and I didn’t have any worries regarding leaks, which I have experienced in the past with other bottles

Overall, I am very happy with the products, the quality is really good and I think I am going to get a good few years wear out of them. Which again is great for the environment because I am not constantly buying the similar products so saves me some money, as a frugal person makes me very happy indeed.

I also did a little vlog down below 🙂

 

Cheers for reading X

 

I was given the picnic blanket and water bottle in exchange for a review. All opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own. 

Twin Mummy and Daddy
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Autistic adulting sucks!

Hey readers,

I hate people, seriously all they ever seems to do is be fake it. Why can’t people be honest and just tell the truth because you think it hurts peoples feelings. But here is the thing I already know so don’t pussy around the subject.

It sucks being autistic, the constant rejection of people, pretending to be nice when really they don’t give two monkeys.

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I am sick of it and sick of this world that I live in. It doesn’t help I am stuck in places where people don’t really know where to put me. Let’s face facts first impressions count and no one likes the awkwardness of the autistic people, it is much easier to just deny us the opportunity. Even though us autistic people would so bloody hard, more so then the average person because we have to,i t’s a fight to fit in when your just totally failing on the outside. I feel lost and I don’t belong, this place feels lonely. Sometimes, I just can’t face it anymore but once again you have to find the strength to get back up again even though you are plummeting into a dark, dark place.

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It sucks to have to undergo interviews when clearly they are not autistic friendly and again I feel like my needs are met.  Don’t you understand us autistic people can’t cope with question after question without getting burnt out, not to mention the social interaction, it takes all our resources to get through it to then be told that actually we are not looking for people at the moment. But why put me through this hell, what you really mean is your not a suitable candidate, just be honest, at least I know where I stand. Right now I feel insulted and taken for a full. It took all my energy to get out my comfort zone and I am devastated. It really does suck because of the effort I but into these things but never get the opportunities, I don’t know why I bother.

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Even as an adult I am always dealt with the hand of rejection and you know what people it sucks, big time for us autistic people to be treated like this. I am just thankful for my blog as it is an outlet when other times I can not muster the words to anyone the pain I am battling everyday. Rant over!

Cheers for reading

d

ethannevelyn.com
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Twin Mummy and Daddy

May 2017 Goals

Hey readers,

I am feeling a bit meh today, so to help me shake the blues I thought I would do some positive work. Therefore I am going to look at some things I want to achieve this month.

Firstly, I want to grow my Instagram followers, I recently set up a new Instagram profile and want increase my followers from currently 193 to 250. Not sure if this is ambitious or just right. Not worried if I don’t achieve it, just something I want to aim for.

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Secondly, I would like to fit four books in the month. My mood appears to be influencing my motivation to get anything done. So if I have a concrete plan hopefully that should kick me in the right direction.

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Thirdly, I want to start running again, I got lazy but I genuinely miss it. It is good having that burn feeling after. I find running really good for me as it helps get rid of the feelings of frustrations and  inadequacies that I have, that I constantly torment myself with.

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Fourthly, I want to get bit more experimental in the kitchen with trying different recipes. I am not good with trying new as it scares me. I start of with best intentions, having ideas etc but when it comes down to the crunch I  procrastinate hardcore. I think it is the fear that is holding me back. However, one way to help reduce that fear and anxiety is choosing recipes that are simple. I seem to go to the extremes and forgot to do something new that is best to always start with baby steps, until you grow with confidence.

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Finally, probably one of my favourite goals is to get a little bit experimental with the camera. It is easy to be lazy and click and shot. But I have some knowledge that I can use, therefore experiment and grow. It is easier said then done but one can only try.

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 Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


 

The Tale of Mummyhood

Twin Mummy and Daddy