What does depression look like

Hey readers,

Below is a picture of myself taken today.

me

You could say I just look a normal everyday person minus her eyes being shut. You don’t think oh my God she looks like she has depression because you know what I do.

People always assume that if you are smiley or cheery then somehow you can not possibly experience depression. Well, news flash you can and furthermore, it can strike at any age, background or social mobility status because depression doesn’t pick who it wants to cause this nightmare mess inside your brain.

Anyone can experience it, at any time in their life. It can last weeks or years and definitely something that you can not physically measure, much to the disapproval of the government.

My point being is that some days I laugh, I cry, I hate and dread and all the other messy emotions that life has to bring. But also I have this mental battle, some days are OK and I manage. Other periods are short spells and then if there is too much stress in my life then can be several months where the black dog doesn’t sod off. He creeps around like a stalker catching me every time I am venerable or exposed to stresses in life. It sucks and there is nothing I can do but plot on. For me, it is a chemical imbalance mixed with stress and managing with my autism. It sucks and yes I smile but please be aware that I can mask like the rest of them.

We need to stop presuming that depression only affects certain people and that it is more grey than black with how it is presenting to the outside world. So just be mindful that there maybe someone smiling but deep down they are internally dying and hating everything that their life is.

If you are experiencing depression then do check out some really good quality articles about depression then please do check out BetterHelp free advice section.

Cheers for reading X

Why are you depressed

Hey readers,

I watched an interview on YouTube just now on ITV on Lorraine Kelly’s show. It was an interview with Fearne Cotton speaking openly about depression. Lorraine made a comment that at REALLY, REALLY, REALLY PISSED ME OFF!  It was a conversation talking about Fearne’s friendship with a friend who was dealing with breast cancer called Chris.

The conversation went like this with Lorraine saying, ‘when your thinking about yourself and moaning about this, that and the next thing, think about what that girl has gone through and the bravery of her’.

I mean I don’t even know where to start on this, as a person who battles with depression it is appalling quite sad to hear such negativity and stigma. Fearne came on the show to discuss depression and instantly got belittled and somehow got treated as her illness was nothing compared to a physical illness,  due to silly comments like the above made by Lorraine. 

Depression is an illness let’s bear that in the mind and how dare Lorraine to dumb down the experience to simply just moaning about life.People have killed themselves because their depression is so severe. No wonder no one talks about it when we get this stigma for moaning and that how dare we have a shit time.

I don’t doubt having breast cancer is hell but please Lorraine doesn’t trump one condition with another. They are completely different and if anyone is watching the interview whilst battling depression will only make them feel worse when you get the comments made by Lorraine. To view depression as moaning will only make the depressive feel more shit and less likely to talk. Because we depressives are so selfish aren’t we, always thinking about me. Well, most depressives don’t talk because they are too ashamed due to the ridicule. That interview just showed it and Lorraine you let us all down.

Each day is a battle to get up with the turmoil of our inner mind, we are fighting to live. We are brave because we wake up and fight another day. The more we break down the fact that depression is nothing but moaning the better.

We should talk about depression openly and understand that it is ok to feel shit and hopeless. Sometimes we are happy and  masking everything. Don’t make assumptions that we are sitting around moaning, there could be a person in the workplace right now and you would not notice. 

With depression it is not just sitting there, it is more complex, more emotions than just sad.

One last thing before you judge think twice about making judgements of a person. That person might be going through hell each day trying to fit in this shitty, judgey society that we live in. 

Least not forget congratulations on Fearne for speaking out on such a taboo subject, especially when you are a mum. If you are feeling depressed and looking for some help with learning some techniques then click here to find some value techniques that may be beneficial to you. 

 

Cheers for reading X

Depression is…

Hey readers,

Here is some of the ways that depression affects me:

 

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  1. Feeling too much.
  2. Feeling nothing but flatness.
  3. Crying over kindness.
  4. Hating oneself so much.
  5. Wanting desperately to vanish.
  6. Hiding from it all.
  7. Lying in bed all day and not got the energy to move.
  8. Looking at the walls and losing track of time.
  9. Being in a crowded room and feeling so alone.
  10. Emptiness.
  11. Angry at everything.
  12. Feeling stuck.
  13. Recalling memories.
  14. Doubting everything.
  15. Reflecting everything.
  16. Wanting to sleep forever.
  17. Hating your spouse because they can just get up and go.
  18. Denying it all.
  19. Jealousy.
  20. Laughing so hard your neurotic.
  21. Moving from one extreme to the next.
  22. Obsessing about the what if’s.
  23. Isolating.
  24. Alone.
  25. Hopelessness.
  26. Despair.
  27. Fatigued.
  28. Insomniac.
  29. Loss.
  30. No desire for anything.

Cheers for reading. X

Single Mum Speaks