Getting children out the door

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they  want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get someone urgent they go to  slough mode!

Here are some thoughts and conversationset I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door.

1) Please get ready, we need to get to school.

 please stitch lilo and stitch beg GIF

2) I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool.

3) If I you don’t get ready then I am going to turn off the TV but at the same time promising to turn the tv on because you need to sit still because you need to do their hair.

4) If you don’t get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let’s face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

 simpsons GIF

5) When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6) Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn’t want the illusion to vanish from the teachers eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7) Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended).

8) If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity in tact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, if gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

Bachelor in Paradise season 3 episode 9 abc crying GIF

10) If your child loves school as much as mine threaten that if they don’t get dressed won’t go to school that day and do nothing all day at home. Amazing how effective that is and they comply to your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

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School 

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

SCHOOL

because it’s a return of school for my oldest and he is now in year 1. He has been finding going back to school really hard these past couple of days. This is because of the change in the teaching as it is more  focused on learning over play.

 He is not very good with change and he needs things explaining to him. So, as you can imagine he’s not very happy. He has been complaining that he hate school, thinks it’s stupid and wishes he was back in reception again.

I just hope that with time that he can ease back into it and establish a routine.  I think this will help him feel more happier about gong to school.

Today my youngest has returned to nursery for one last year and then he will start school in September.

He on the other hand is super excited to be returning. I am looking forward to getting a better routine and quiet time. It has been lovely having them but it’s nice to have a break from it all.
Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

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Letter to the parents of children starting school 

To the parents of children starting in reception,

I know people get emotional when their child starts school in reception. My child will start year one in September so, I thought I would share with you what I have learnt over the year.

Firstly, I have read a lot about the emotional impact it has on a parent when their child starts school. Let’s be logical here they are not gone forever and this is an exciting new chapter on there life. Some parents sadly don’t ever get to see this opportunity so look on the bright side, at least they are growing healthy and growing into their own little personality.

school 2

They will still love you but they are now that little more independent. I sure for one don’t want my child needing me so intensely.

Most of the time the child will enjoy the new experience. Sometimes, a child may have additional needs or struggle to settle in. but that is ok as the school is there to provide the support.

school 1

Not many people know this but reception is actually classed as nursery. They do not need to pay for time off if you go on holiday. I have spoken to a teacher who has told me this information. So, stand your ground if you want to take your child out for a holiday.
Reception year is more about settling in and adjusting to school life. They will learn to write phonetically (which  is honestly a load of shite but I won’t go into that, as that is a post in itself). They learn to read which is lovely as my son had book each week to practice at home and he loves reading now.

They go on trips which is so much fun as most children love to be like a grown up especially when it is away from the family.

They will explore and learn all about the world, it will help them understand others.

it is also a testing time for a child as they need to learn to get on and share with other children. Some children are more bossy whilst others can be shy. This is life and I believe something good for the child to learn about different types of personality. Using skills are adapting and working out what way would be best to get the result they are searching for.

It will change them but for the good. They will grown as we all do and develop that much further. But don’t worry because they not alone as others are going through the same experience.

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DS1 on his first day at school, happy as Larry!

Cheers for reading X

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The end of reception year at school

To my darling boy,

Can you believe that you have completed your reception and you will moving to year one. I can still remember when you were first born and being so tiny, how times have changed!

Well what can I say have noticed a real transformation, some good, some challenging shall we say. This year we have learnt so much about you and the person you are becoming.

I and daddy are so learning that you are autistic, even though no one will listen at the moment, but that is more politics and what the eyes can see more than anything but that is a can of worms that I won’t open here.

You have progressively got better with your speech and through expression. You have become more confident and independent. You have thrived in learning – I can’t actually believe how much you love reading now. You can’t seem to stop writing, which is just lovely to see. Your thirst for knowledge is mesmerising (thank Goodness for YouTube).

I know you feel frustrating at the beginning of school due to misunderstandings through communication but you have become more patient and willing to listen.  You’re so determined and possibly a little bit stubborn but I think that this are positive traits in a person and make good qualities in life.

You’re such a caring boy, always being kind and listening to others. You don’t exclude people and you want to make sure that they are involved. This might be down to understanding about mummy’s autism and the way that she cannot do the things others can do. Therefore, allowing you to be understanding of other’s needs.

You have excelled in every element of your school report and we are so proud of you. You have come on heaps and bouts. There is more work to do but I know you can achieve it as you are dedicated and focused.

We spoke to your teacher the day before you broke up and she said that you have improved a lot with your behaviour. When asked do you get involved with the naughty behaviour that other people do y out step aside and don’t get invoked. You are now more of a role model child to kids. Me and your daddy believe that this is down to the fact a few months ago we talked openly about your autism and how it affects you in certain ways.

I love you dear child and you make me so proud to allow me to call you mummy.

Well done and here is to the next year which I know you can’t wait to get stuck into

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Love you,

Mummy X

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Why I disagree with buying teachers presents

Hey readers,

It is the summer holiday break up today and as I took my son to school I witnessed the amount of presents a lot of parents brought with them to hand out to the teachers.

I be honest, I don’t believe in giving teachers presents because for one I am forced to take my child to school and ok I could go down the route of home schooling but I am just capable and I want to give my son the best opportunities.  I am a strong believer in giving people the choice and it feels a little bit false, in the fact that there is pressure from Clintons etc. I believe in choice and it just feels like you have to do it.

Part of me sees it as a competition from parents to get the present (but that is a whole new political post of its own). I wonder whether there is a bit of arse linking because if they are giving praise etc. it can influence how they view the child.

OK, now it’s that some are genuine and what to do something to say thank you to their teacher for helping their child. But what happens if you don’t have the funds and some people can’t even afford a spare quid, so don’t give me that one.

thank you techer

Why do we have to buy material stuff, ok it is easier to buy a box of chocolates, it just seems that to say thank you to the teacher to buy them stuff. It is peer pressures at its finest, if you haven’t brought a teacher something then there is a change you feel guilty or embarrassed. I don’t think parents should have to feel like this but I know some people do.

So, therefore I believe that it should be band to buy stuff for teachers as parents have enough stuff to buy and find the money (I know this struggle I have been there it makes you feel totally crap as a parent).

Cheers for reading X

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My boy of late…

Hey readers,

I have a confession to make, today was hard day for me mentally, not only am I dealing with my  own issues but also them of  my son’s. Today he had a major meltdown which left us at breaking point. Not just for me I think, but actually for my husband as well. My husband is normally chilled out and causal about stuff so, it must be pretty bad when he is worried about how he will not only mange  with his wife’s autism (he is my carer as well) but potentially his son’s.

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I am currently sat in the other room because I really can’t cope at this point with my son’s screaming for over an hour.

We went to visit a butterfly farm locally to us, today, the butterflies are in a massive green house room and can freely flutter by. Here is where the problem lies, my son had a meltdown at this place because he could not cope with the butterflies random movement (which  I struggle also struggle with) but had taken medication to physical effects of anxiety).  He is 5 years old and is an independent walker however, my husband had to carry him around as the only place where he was calm after the heightened anxiety was where the butterflies were not in one of the other areas. The moment he stepped back into the arena where all the butterflies were that was it again, he just could not cope with it and was panic attack.

All afternoon he has been on a roller-coaster of emotions. But finally he has settled to just streaming and I mean screaming. He literally has to be restraint because of how violent his behaviour has become. He is biting, scratching, hitting, and lashing out and potentially harming our youngest.

Now,  I have been on a parenting course where it is frowned upon restraining children. I am very conscious of this. I do not do it under any circumstances but when it is a situation where risk involved and the child is hurting themselves and no other way can help that child stay calm then is not much left we could of done.

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Now you are wondering have we been to the professionals to discuss our concerns and the answer is yes, several times. Let me tell you the background, firstly he started school this September so we approached the school to see what his behaviour was like and to ask for guidance. They did observe but didn’t feel any worries. So, we went to our GP, he said to speak to the specialist person. SO we did and filled out our worries on paper, then they would investigate. That was fine, they came back to us I think within the month saying that they have taken on board our concerns but because his behaviour is not affecting him at school that they can not really do anything. However, they did say that come back in a year and see what is behaviour is like and see if any behaviour changes have occurred.

Well that is great help because as most of us know generally children are totally different when they are school, it is a different environment etc. I asked my cpn (community psychiatric nurse) who see’s me for my mental health what his advice is because he may have had experience and what he thinks we should do.

He said that the only path at the moment is through the school or GP. So because my son’s behaviour is masked (because I know for one he copies a lot of behaviour, he is very similar to me. I kid you not my husband always says that talking to him is like talking to me).

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So, basically there is no other avenue, because apparently if the child is perfectly well behaved then the child will go through the net but if the child is extreme then they will get the help they deserve. Bearing in mind that these teachers are looking after 30 odd children so they can’t spend long periods of time with them individually. It is just so frustrating right now because we just don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure no seems to care if your not extreme. They see the whole picture and that is what really sucks.

I am writing this so that I can document my journey with my eldest, who knows where we will end up but his behaviour is erratic and there is genuine concern there.

Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


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Return

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


Because it is the return back to school, nursery and general normality of life. Anyone else struggling with feeling a bit blue, I think it is just a comedown from all the exciting festivities.

Although glad to get some routine back and try and get back to the healthy eating malarkey, which isn’t easy after all the goodies entering my mouth the past couple of weeks.

Also, had to deal with the boys sole for a night while husband was away, jeez hats of to single parents. I am a bad mum, I let my eldest sleep in my bed as he was real struggling with anxiety. I was desperate at this point and in the end sleep wins. However, I got through it and everyone is still alive and well, phew!

Still trying to find suitable places for new toys, that is the biggest challenge of all!

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Festive

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

festive

Because it is all about finishing of all the presents to get ready without the children around. On Friday both boys will break up for the Christmas period and it is amazing how extra long it takes to do anything with a kid in tow. So, I am making the most of my childfree time.

In other news, we finally got out lovely glittery Christmas tree up that covers everything in glitter, joy! To help me get Christmassy I listened to a bit of Frank Sineta Christmas songs whilst decorating the tree. I am so glad I didn’t buy any more cards, as when the box of Christmas stuff came down I forgot all the purchases during January sales I got, all I say I love a good bargain!

On Tuesday hubby, ds2 and myself got to see my eldest perform as a snowman in his Christmas performance at school. Was so lovely to see him dance and sing. He looked adoreable in his snowman suit.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Ideas

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Image result for IDEAS

because I just seem to have extra ideas/thoughts buzzing away, sods law being though I never have any paper or pen when I desperately need to write it down. Since being a mother  it takes a lot of energy and brain power to function therefore by the time I come back to the abandoned thoughts they vanish, doh!

In other news, I received a letter from my son’s school about a naivety play that my son will be taking part in. He has been choose to play snowman and it is called Oopsie Daisy Fairy and to be honest as atheist glad to not have religion throw upon him. This is his first performance at school so, should be interesting to see how he gets on with it all. Even better news for me the school provides the outfit, *punches fist in the air*.

Parents can also come along each week to the family assembly. Husband and I  attended the first one last Friday. So adorable when they all the children walk in with the ‘ssss’ finger on the lips to indicate to be quite when walking to assembly. So proud to see my boy with a MASSIVE star for being helpful that week.To be honest he has always been like that.When he was younger he wasn’t that interested in toys in the traditional manner, always wanted to mimic an adult. Hence why it does not surprise me at all him being helpful and being the first to help. To be fair he is a real good helper and it is one way in which I can communicate better with him is when we are working together in completing something.

Hope you too have had a good week.

Thanks for reading X

The Reading Residence

Anti- Homework

Hey readers,

One of the things that pisses me off about school is sending children home with homework. Firstly, I believe we should stop homework because kids have a long day at school learning, why then come home to do even more work. Let’s give children a break and allow them to play and let them wind down. I think if the child has to constantly be meeting deadlines to get work completed then it could  lead to lose of enthusiasm to learn. I know that people are more willing to learn when they are less under pressure.There is the risk of cheating by copying each others work in order to get the work done.Therefore getting rewarded for false work which really doesn’t help anyone in the long term.

How much arguments are meet through parents having to deal with an additional responsibility of getting the kids motivated to complete their work. There is not enough time in the evening and it can cause potential fiction between child and parent.Homework reduces the amount of family time spend together, it is important to have quality time with the family and to socialise.

A different reason for being against homework is that the child for a large. portion of the school day is sedentary. So, to come home and then be made to sit down for even more time is not really good when instead they could be having fun and doing some physical exercise.

There is no real link that homework increases learning or grades*. Causing unnecessary pressure and frustration for child and parent. There is no real cleat link to say that homework increases the chances of a child gaining better grades.

My child is exhausted form coming home from school as he uses all his energy to learn, concentrate and listen to instructions. To then try to get him to complete his homework is pretty pointless. He is halfhearted and not really concentrating because of being so tired. I feel it is important that when he is at home that there is that time to relax. So, there is a clear and definite break from education. Children need to have time to wind down and relax. It helps them sleep and not be overactive with keeping their brain wired for long periods. Not to mention the fact that if they are more calmer in the evening they will sleep better and feeling fresh in the morning to be more motivated to work on the education at school.

I am all about learning but I think there should be a balance between learn and play. I think with homework included in the mix of a school day it is unevenly balanced. I don’t really feel it is healthy nor necessarily to include homework in the curriculum. Sometimes you get the feeling that it is more about meeting targets then the actually child’s development and health.

Cheers for reading X

*”What research says about the value of homework: Research review.” The Center for Public Education, web. 17th February 2007.

 

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