My boy of late…

Hey readers,

I have a confession to make, today was hard day for me mentally, not only am I dealing with my  own issues but also them of  my son’s. Today he had a major meltdown which left us at breaking point. Not just for me I think, but actually for my husband as well. My husband is normally chilled out and causal about stuff so, it must be pretty bad when he is worried about how he will not only mange  with his wife’s autism (he is my carer as well) but potentially his son’s.

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I am currently sat in the other room because I really can’t cope at this point with my son’s screaming for over an hour.

We went to visit a butterfly farm locally to us, today, the butterflies are in a massive green house room and can freely flutter by. Here is where the problem lies, my son had a meltdown at this place because he could not cope with the butterflies random movement (which  I struggle also struggle with) but had taken medication to physical effects of anxiety).  He is 5 years old and is an independent walker however, my husband had to carry him around as the only place where he was calm after the heightened anxiety was where the butterflies were not in one of the other areas. The moment he stepped back into the arena where all the butterflies were that was it again, he just could not cope with it and was panic attack.

All afternoon he has been on a roller-coaster of emotions. But finally he has settled to just streaming and I mean screaming. He literally has to be restraint because of how violent his behaviour has become. He is biting, scratching, hitting, and lashing out and potentially harming our youngest.

Now,  I have been on a parenting course where it is frowned upon restraining children. I am very conscious of this. I do not do it under any circumstances but when it is a situation where risk involved and the child is hurting themselves and no other way can help that child stay calm then is not much left we could of done.

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Now you are wondering have we been to the professionals to discuss our concerns and the answer is yes, several times. Let me tell you the background, firstly he started school this September so we approached the school to see what his behaviour was like and to ask for guidance. They did observe but didn’t feel any worries. So, we went to our GP, he said to speak to the specialist person. SO we did and filled out our worries on paper, then they would investigate. That was fine, they came back to us I think within the month saying that they have taken on board our concerns but because his behaviour is not affecting him at school that they can not really do anything. However, they did say that come back in a year and see what is behaviour is like and see if any behaviour changes have occurred.

Well that is great help because as most of us know generally children are totally different when they are school, it is a different environment etc. I asked my cpn (community psychiatric nurse) who see’s me for my mental health what his advice is because he may have had experience and what he thinks we should do.

He said that the only path at the moment is through the school or GP. So because my son’s behaviour is masked (because I know for one he copies a lot of behaviour, he is very similar to me. I kid you not my husband always says that talking to him is like talking to me).

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So, basically there is no other avenue, because apparently if the child is perfectly well behaved then the child will go through the net but if the child is extreme then they will get the help they deserve. Bearing in mind that these teachers are looking after 30 odd children so they can’t spend long periods of time with them individually. It is just so frustrating right now because we just don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure no seems to care if your not extreme. They see the whole picture and that is what really sucks.

I am writing this so that I can document my journey with my eldest, who knows where we will end up but his behaviour is erratic and there is genuine concern there.

Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


The Tale of Mummyhood

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

Return

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


Because it is the return back to school, nursery and general normality of life. Anyone else struggling with feeling a bit blue, I think it is just a comedown from all the exciting festivities.

Although glad to get some routine back and try and get back to the healthy eating malarkey, which isn’t easy after all the goodies entering my mouth the past couple of weeks.

Also, had to deal with the boys sole for a night while husband was away, jeez hats of to single parents. I am a bad mum, I let my eldest sleep in my bed as he was real struggling with anxiety. I was desperate at this point and in the end sleep wins. However, I got through it and everyone is still alive and well, phew!

Still trying to find suitable places for new toys, that is the biggest challenge of all!

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Festive

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

festive

Because it is all about finishing of all the presents to get ready without the children around. On Friday both boys will break up for the Christmas period and it is amazing how extra long it takes to do anything with a kid in tow. So, I am making the most of my childfree time.

In other news, we finally got out lovely glittery Christmas tree up that covers everything in glitter, joy! To help me get Christmassy I listened to a bit of Frank Sineta Christmas songs whilst decorating the tree. I am so glad I didn’t buy any more cards, as when the box of Christmas stuff came down I forgot all the purchases during January sales I got, all I say I love a good bargain!

On Tuesday hubby, ds2 and myself got to see my eldest perform as a snowman in his Christmas performance at school. Was so lovely to see him dance and sing. He looked adoreable in his snowman suit.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Ideas

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Image result for IDEAS

because I just seem to have extra ideas/thoughts buzzing away, sods law being though I never have any paper or pen when I desperately need to write it down. Since being a mother  it takes a lot of energy and brain power to function therefore by the time I come back to the abandoned thoughts they vanish, doh!

In other news, I received a letter from my son’s school about a naivety play that my son will be taking part in. He has been choose to play snowman and it is called Oopsie Daisy Fairy and to be honest as atheist glad to not have religion throw upon him. This is his first performance at school so, should be interesting to see how he gets on with it all. Even better news for me the school provides the outfit, *punches fist in the air*.

Parents can also come along each week to the family assembly. Husband and I  attended the first one last Friday. So adorable when they all the children walk in with the ‘ssss’ finger on the lips to indicate to be quite when walking to assembly. So proud to see my boy with a MASSIVE star for being helpful that week.To be honest he has always been like that.When he was younger he wasn’t that interested in toys in the traditional manner, always wanted to mimic an adult. Hence why it does not surprise me at all him being helpful and being the first to help. To be fair he is a real good helper and it is one way in which I can communicate better with him is when we are working together in completing something.

Hope you too have had a good week.

Thanks for reading X

The Reading Residence

Anti- Homework

Hey readers,

One of the things that pisses me off about school is sending children home with homework. Firstly, I believe we should stop homework because kids have a long day at school learning, why then come home to do even more work. Let’s give children a break and allow them to play and let them wind down. I think if the child has to constantly be meeting deadlines to get work completed then it could  lead to lose of enthusiasm to learn. I know that people are more willing to learn when they are less under pressure.There is the risk of cheating by copying each others work in order to get the work done.Therefore getting rewarded for false work which really doesn’t help anyone in the long term.

How much arguments are meet through parents having to deal with an additional responsibility of getting the kids motivated to complete their work. There is not enough time in the evening and it can cause potential fiction between child and parent.Homework reduces the amount of family time spend together, it is important to have quality time with the family and to socialise.

A different reason for being against homework is that the child for a large. portion of the school day is sedentary. So, to come home and then be made to sit down for even more time is not really good when instead they could be having fun and doing some physical exercise.

There is no real link that homework increases learning or grades*. Causing unnecessary pressure and frustration for child and parent. There is no real cleat link to say that homework increases the chances of a child gaining better grades.

My child is exhausted form coming home from school as he uses all his energy to learn, concentrate and listen to instructions. To then try to get him to complete his homework is pretty pointless. He is halfhearted and not really concentrating because of being so tired. I feel it is important that when he is at home that there is that time to relax. So, there is a clear and definite break from education. Children need to have time to wind down and relax. It helps them sleep and not be overactive with keeping their brain wired for long periods. Not to mention the fact that if they are more calmer in the evening they will sleep better and feeling fresh in the morning to be more motivated to work on the education at school.

I am all about learning but I think there should be a balance between learn and play. I think with homework included in the mix of a school day it is unevenly balanced. I don’t really feel it is healthy nor necessarily to include homework in the curriculum. Sometimes you get the feeling that it is more about meeting targets then the actually child’s development and health.

Cheers for reading X

*”What research says about the value of homework: Research review.” The Center for Public Education, web. 17th February 2007.

 

Life with Baby Kicks

Charity At School

Hey readers,

 

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My son received a letter this week about BBC Children In Need day, where you can come to school dressed up in something spotty and raise money  for the occasion. My problem I have with this is that I am against school trying to a) push parents into giving and b) in making a child feel isolated if they do not join in.

With regards to a) my problem is I believe people should have a choice and not be forced by peer pressure in order to feel included. What happen if the parent is skint they can’t afford money nor can they meet the requirements, i.e having anything spotty. I know some people who are so stressed about such events that they lie and call in sick due to not having the money to give. When will school be actually about education and not about charity. I am all for charity but I think it is wrong to do it in a school setting. The child has to be there as it is the law so why don’t we stop the charity and do it in a location where the person has the choice to attend or not.

It never stops with the charity raising in school and again I think this wrong.  Some organisations whom I don’t trust certain charities to fully give money to the direct charity, which I believe they should because that is the whole point. But that is a different post entirely.

Another point I would like to put forward why is some fundraising  allowed and who gets to chose which charity is more important then another one.

Where is the the cut off to allowing fundraising in school, it just seems to me a growing number of charity events are ever increasing days and I don’t think it will stop any time soon.

My b) point is I don’t think it is fair especially with schools in more deprived areas who may not have the funds to give to charity in the potential to make the parent feel isolated by not giving. It again can has the risk of making the parent feel even more worthless because they can not provide for their child to participate.

So there you have it that is my argument against all fundraising in a school setting. I am going be brave and speak out as I know this is a controversial but I feel that it needs to be talked about.

 

Cheers for reading X

 

Life with Baby Kicks

Running 

​Hey readers,
My word of the week is 


Because for the last four weeks I have been running. I have decided to run as a form of exercise. I downloaded the c25k app and it is the best thing I have ever done!

I love running outside in the fresh air, it is free and good to clear your head. I like the fact I am getting fitter and building stamina. I definately can say I have caught the running bug. If I can do it then anyone can do, lol!

In other news it is the week the boys return to school and nursery. I love having them at home but by God it is lovely to have some ‘me time’ and peace to think for a bit. 

Talking of school, it means the return of so many  letters. I have had FIVE letters in the space of four days, seriously why can’t we just let kids play like the happy people of Denmark do, tsk! Rant over!
Cheers for reading X 

The Reading Residence