I hate the term girl gang

Hey readers,

There is this term knocking about on the internet called GIRL GANG and I hate it with a passion. Let me tell you why, well for a start I don’t need people to help me and nor do I like a person based on their gender. It is really not important to me and as sickly as it sounds I like a person because of who they are and not because they have a vagina.

girl gang

I don’t want to be an arse licker and you get that sense with this whole phenomena  of the term girl gang. I chose who I like and some girls quite frankly are twats where as others are my idols.

I don’t belong in gangs, it gives a sense of threatening and I don’t believe in ganging up on people to like you or others.

girls

The whole term of girl is condescending anyway, like we are not allowed to be called women because they are too hostile. But that is what we are and we should celebrate it. But also we don’t need to have to push our gender out there surely, shouldn’t we just forget about that and celebrate the actually person.

There are all these kind of ideas of the people in a girl gang whereas if it is men they don’t go on about their gender but merely just get to the point. Which is what is much more attractive. Some great women are not bold and assertive that doesn’t make them less of a female and any less of a reason to celebrate them. You only get certain type of person in these gangs but there is so much more to a person then a title.

feminism

I class myself as a feminist in the sense that everyone should have equal opportunities regardless of your gender. It should be fair and not sticking silly labels to an idea of empowering others when really all you are doing is excluding others. If you want help then cut the sectioning off and let’s just celebrate people regardless of whether they have a vagina or not and see them as a person in their own right.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

why being a woman sucks!

Hey readers,

Sometimes being a female can be lovely but other times it can totally suck. Let me tell you the things that I hate as a women.

I suppose the most obvious one is periods, which occur typically once a month where your emotions are all over the place and if that is not bad enough, you have blood for five to seven days leaking out of your vagina.

U by Kotex Brand shocked facepalm smh period GIF

A pain is having to wear bras and dealing with twisted straps, it is so frustrating.

The size of female clothing is ridiculous and varies from one shop to the next. Men have it is so much easier because they have a certain measurement that fits where as different sizes occur in women’s fashion, grrrrrr.

Feeling that if you have too many emotions going on then your not taking serious to the point where people deem you as being a drama queen.

 sad no baby crying emotions GIF

Pressures of being thin and trying to be this perfect ideal is horrible and you feel crap most of the time because I am so fucking fat.

You can’t pee anywhere, you have to find a suitable place to sit. I am so jealous of men that can piss anywhere including a bottle.

This expectation that us females are good at cooking, talking and all the other crappy stereotypes, not round here mate.

The pain of having to frequently  shave your legs in the summer if you want to wear a skirt.

If you chose to wear miscara are or eye make up and restraining yourself from rubbing your eyes or else you end up looking like Alice Cooper’s sister.

This idea that females are meant to be good at communicating and that we all love small talk. Well I don’t and I am suitable shit at, not to mention saying things at the wrong time.

Cheers for reading X

 

Why are you depressed

Hey readers,

I watched an interview on YouTube just now on itv on Lorraine Kelly’s show. It was an interview with Fearne Cotton speaking openly about depression. Lorraine made a commend  that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY PISSED ME OFF!  It was a conversation talking about Fearne’s friendship with a friend who was dealing with breast cancer called Chris.

The conversation went like this with Lorraine saying, ‘when your thinking about yourself and moaning about this, that and the next thing, think about what that girl has gone through and the bravery of her’.

I mean I don’t even know where to start on this, as a person who battles with depression it is appalling quite sad to hear such negativity and stigma. Fearne came on the show to discuss depression and instantly got belittled and somehow got treated as her illness was nothing compared to a physical illness,  due to silly comments like  the above made by Lorraine. 

Depression is an illness let’s bear that in the mind and how dare Lorraine to dumb down the experience to simply just moaning about life.People have killed themselves because their depression is so severe. No wonder no one talks about it when we get this stigma for moaning and that how dare we have a shit time.

I don’t doubt having breast cancer is hell but please Lorraine don’t trump one condition with another. They are completely different and if anyone is watching the interview whilst battling depression will only make them feel worse when you get the comments made by Lorraine. To view depression as moaning  will only make the depressive  feel more shit and less likely to talk. Because we depressives are so selfish arn’t we, always thinking about me. Well most depressives don’t talk because they are too ashamed due to the ridicule. That interview just showed it and Loorraine you let us all down.

Each day is a battle to get up with the turmoil of our inner mind, we are fighting to live. We are brave because we wake up and fight another day. The more we break down the fact that depression is nothing but moaning the better.

We should talk about depression openly and understand that it is ok to feel shit and hopeless. Sometimes we are happy and  masking everything. Don’t make assumptions that we are sitting around moaning, there could be a person in the workplace right now and you would not notice. 

With depression it is not just sitting there, it is more complex, more emotions then just sad.

One last thing before you judge think twice about making judgements of a person. That person might be going through hell  each day trying to fit in this shity, judgey society that we live in. 

Least not forget congratulations on Fearne for speaking out on such a taboo subject, especially when you are a mum. 

Cheers for reading X

January blues

Hey readers,

Can you believe that it is the 6th January already, ugh! Looking out of my window it is wet and miserable and I currently feel a bit pants, I think it is the case of the January blues. I tell you why I frigging hate this month.

  • Firstly, lets start with the fact that  you are now skint after the holidays after you have spend all your money on presents. Not to mention the amount of money you have forked out for them sodding rides, especially in my town they seem to overdosed the area in them. The one’s your little darlings can locate two miles away and because you have to go shopping with sodding the kids you can’t avoid them, ugh!
  • You are fat, because you have over indulged and put on another half a stone, of course it was fun at the time when I was stuffing my face with mince pies without a care in the world. Now I have to work my even bigger fat ass off because I can’t afford to buy bigger clothing because I am skint, init!
  • You have to deal with the mega sugar withdraws when your cold and skint.
  • It is back to normality and routine where lie-ins or lazying around are NOW not acceptable! Let’s not forget the dreaded the school run and silly o’clock, it is an absolute disgrace I tell ya!
  • The comedown from Christmas and the sense of magic has gone.
  • Everything feels bare and all the pretty lights have gone away. So now all I see is unattractive concrete.
  • It is cold, wet and generally boring because all the excitement of December has vanished.
  • Then there is them New Year’s resolutions that evaporate after the first week of  January casing you to go deeper into the blue mood.

Cheers for reading X

You Baby Me Mummy

I hate periods, FACT!!!

Hey readers

Source

You can never bitch enough about periods as a women (probably men love good bitch about how it impacts them too I imagine). I think my hubby is a bit sick of me mentioning the cruel fate that us women have to go through each month.

So, that is what a blog is good for a bitch and hell I am in the mood to rib mother natures head off!

Why do I hate periods, let me give you my reasons:

It is a bloody mess for a start. Sometimes you wake in the middle of the night and there is blood absolutely everywhere. It can come on unexpectedly as my periods are always late now since having children so can never probably time it.

The pain is excruciating and ever since I have had children my lower back pain is a killer every few days of the month. I have really pain in my abdominal and can interfere with getting things during the day.

I suffer every single month with a horrific migraine because of my period and the changes in hormone. I literally can not function probably as my vision gets blurred and feeling sick.

Having to cope with the spectrum of emotions, it is not just crying and then happy it is all the milder emotions in between suck has feeling fed up and emptiness.

It cost money for the products each move and you need extra space to store them.

The day before my period I am so bloated and feel six months pregnant.

source

The first day of my period I am exhausted and just finding it difficult to get motivated and to find that get go.

slep

source

Cheers for reading X

 

Rhyming with Wine

Why, why, why?

Hey readers,

I am sitting here by myself because it is half term and my eldest has been a terror to put it politely. Sometimes I end of the day feeling so frustrated that I just wished to be let free in a room full of China. I am not sure how I am going to cope through the two weeks without the break, I am sure we get through it but at the beginning of the holiday I dread it.

Why is it I try my  bestest to do something with the sprog and then all he does is pushes mine and hubby’s buttons. It fucks me off, I try and it results in fights and mayhem. He encourages the youngest to throw pens and then the youngest gets boisterous and rips the paper. Then pulls of as many Christmas decorations as possible from the Christmas tree on purpose and the eldest thinks the most hilarious thing to do is pull his trousers and pants down, he is laughing his head off and no one is laughing, fml!

Today just feels like my eldest is in a destructive mood and will go out his way to be a pain in the arse. No matter how much time I give him or get things to do, he is having none of it. I don’t know whether he is not getting warn out like the days he is at school where he can get over stimulated. Almost like an uneven balance of stimulation. Right now I am so pissed off with it all. I am pissed of with myself for getting so emotional about such stuff. I know it is a cliche but you do the worst thing and compare yourself to all the perfect parents on the internet. Why can’t my children be so chilled like other people’s children without turning it into a scene and making me feel totally deflated and a crap parent.

I am sat here writing this close to tears with rage. I have come on adult time out if you will because if I don’t then I will literally blow my top off. Seriously, today I am just struggling with parenting and knowing where to reach that balance. It doesn’t matter how many threats or putting on time out, my son is in that ‘mood’ where he is just not playing ball.
This may make me sound an awful parent but that the thoughts that cross my mind is why do I bother with all this stress when I maybe as well not bother. It could so simpler for me to not care, not to be engaging and just stick the TV on 24/7 and be done with it.  At least I wouldn’t have to deal with the challenging behaviour.

All I can say is some days being a parent is shit, I know awful but true. I am not perfect and sometimes dread it and can’t wake till the end of the day when I have break and my brain gets given a change to think about anything.

Cheers for reading X

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Secondary Primary Caregiver

Hey readers,

This week has been somewhat challenging. My son has been sick and my routine has been changed. I am autistic therefore find change difficult, not to mention long periods of time with my children is hard and mentally draining for me.

Now I do have my husband as my carer due to my disability. As we are both are at home we can split the care if we wish. It allows me to have a break . However,  when I do I feel  a break I am left feeling dreadful and guilty.

Why do I feel like this? well, because I feel I am not competent in being an adequate mother. I fee like a failure, maybe it is because I feel like I have been conditioned to feel like this.

I know there was an interesting drama on the telly some time ago, reflecting on real life situations of parents who are disabled and the fear of social services taking their children away.

I worry about what happens when my husband, God forbid dies in an accident, would social services take my children away? In one sense I would be doing more jobs like cooking etc. So, maybe I may just deal with it and I wouldn’t have as much time to think and reflect, therefore not feeling as bad.

One professional who I discussed my  fears with regarding the situation about if hubby dies. She was very comforting with her words, saying that I would just deal with the situation and readjust to a new routine. I probably get some additional help. She works closely with social services and worked with other individuals with additional needs. She did say I had to be really bad to get my children taken off me. She knew that I worked really hard, open to professionals and I wasn’t as bad as I feel inside my own head.

Why do I feel scared then? I feel that I am autistic and Like I would be judged for my downfalls, even though sometimes my autism can enhance my parenting!

The guilt eats away at me, I feel I should be working that bit more harder as an autistic parent to make up for my incompetence. I feel I should focus more on my child. Of course there are times when my husband is not around and I look after both children and funnily enough there is nothing bad that happened.

It is the battle I feel that I have to fight every single day. I dread some days because it is only me who is beating myself mentally for not being good enough parent. I feel as I am secondary care giver and that my role is not good enough. Even though I working my ass off and having to do more things consciously that others would take it like water of a ducks back. I blame myself for having to have breaks and not for feeling better after. The guilt that I should be enjoying being with my child and not wanting to escape. But at times that is just what I want to do. Escape form the noise and having to focus all my attention on the child. Having to work overtime to plan and to perform in the correct manner. It is so exhausting and sometimes I just want to stop thinking.

Sometimes I feel that I am not worthy of being a parent because of my autism. I will influence there development and if anything goes wrong then I blame myself for not being good enough.  It is easy to get in this cycle especially if you have low self worth. You feel isolated as there is not enough support for autistic parenting. We don’t fall under the mental health or learning disabilities section, meaning that we are stranded, stuck and confused. That is how I feel. Being in a neurotypical world I am constantly battling and sometimes it is just my thoughts, other times I feel there are real barriers that hinder my performance.

Cheers for reading X

Life with Baby Kicks
Spectrum Sunday