Observations of what happens in a heatwave 

Hey readers,

 Have you noticed that it is a tat on the hot side, yep, me too and I am terribly British in which I love a good moan about the weather. So let’s look at my accurate portray of what it is like to experience going through a heatwave.

sweating 2

You know you are going through a heatwave when every sentence, every hour of the day is announcing to anyone who is listening, ‘It’s hot’.  Because no one obviously has noticed that big  yellow ball in the sky.

You go bat shit crazy in the supermarket for multi packs of ice lollies like your life depends on it.

You love your fan like a family member.

sun

Never has a cold shower felt so good until your child decides to walk in on you and declare you have a hole.

You get beyond frustrated at stupid questions asked by children about who is the smelliest when really all that matters right now is trying to concentrate on cramming as may ice cubes as possible into your cup.

You worry your bladder may explode because you have drank your weight in cold drinks in just one day.

sweating 1

Your pillow has never felt so pumped then during this heatwave with constantly turning over the pillow at night.

You suddenly become a raging manic woman over the tiniest of things  because you fuse has finally blown and throwing wet pants on mummy’s head tips her right over that edge.

The dreaded bedtime you have to do. The ultimate question, should or should you not open the windows? Where the bedroom is like a fucking sauna and outside is just noise from people constantly revving and horn beeping timed just around the bed time hour. Don’t they know these people outside having fun at bedtime hour makes this mama very, very angry.

You pine for autumn so hard, please bring it back, because I don’t know if I can cope with any more under boob sweat.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

The pains of a Sweaty Betty

Hey readers,

Today we have had humid weather, which being honest with you makes me ill just thinking about the humidity. The only time that I would the sun to be shining so hot is when I am by a pool in the shade with coupons amounts of drink or ice-cream.

sweating 2

I dread it when I see the warm weather flow across the map of the weather person on the news. I cannot stand being a sticky mess. It amazes me to see people in coats in this humid and sticky weather, I want to know how they keep so cool because for me I am just purely a  sweaty betty. My makeup is all running down my face, my t-shirt is sticking to my neck and if you think it can get any worse then there is ultimate hell for the fat girl, chub rub. Basically where you sweat so much between your thighs that they rub from the fiction and it is hell let me tell you that.

When you’re out and about there appears to be that stench wafting at your nostrils, you know the one, where people sweat so much they stink of it and forget to wash. You can’t run away on public transport so you have to stick to the seat and try not to breathe the whole five minutes journey home.

sweating 1

I just hate feeling hot, I literally cannot do anything and feel sick because it is so dame hot. If the whole sweating and feeling ill is not enough then let’s just bring up hay fever. It is the pits and agony, my sinuses are working overtime, I am sneezing every five seconds and my eyes kill from the itchiness.

Let’s move on to a different aspect of hot weather and that is them annoying sun worshippers on Facebook bragging about how lovely it is with these temperatures, I mean are you for real? The only place I want to be is lying on the cold bathroom floor.

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If you think you can escape it at night, your wrong my friends. At night it is a wrestle with the bed to find the cold spot, therefore spending a majority of the night tossing and turning then having to deal with the lack of sleep.

In the end it results in you wishing on the times when you felt more comfortable, colder and cosier. All I am saying is I miss you Autumn *sniff*!

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs


My Random Musings
3 Little Buttons

Social anxiety kicks in!

Hey readers,

Today I attempted to a volunteer place but totally failed at it and now I feel a fool. 

It was an admin role but it was in an open arena with different people at different desks etc. and I just felt overwhelmed, uncomfortable paranoia and anxious. 

alone

I was so anxious that I had a panic attack. I felt so claustrophobic in that room. Like a fish in a glass bowl and everyone was staring at me. It is the most horrendous and intense feeling ever. 

I just could not handle it mentally. I don’t do small talk and the things I think about to talk about are not appropriate. I think it is anxiety that does that. 

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I just could not handle it and just went into flight or fight response. I forgot how bad my social anxiety can be, I have not been in this type of social situation for a long time.

I hate myself and now I am beating myself up about it. I know when I have cooled down and talked sense to myself I will see it from a different perspective but right now, in this moment, I am really down and emotional.

I feel that my response and lack of ability makes me a bad person, incapable and a failure. For a brief second I was tempted to jump in front of a train. Don’t worry I won’t but I want to be frank and real. This is real life going through the motions. You have a warped view of yourself and what you ‘ believe’ others think. 

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I feel I am less of a person because I can’t do this role, because I view success on where I have a job or not and feel that what society views as a good person or parent. This message feels even more present currently through the media when we are heading towards the general elections. 

I feel I have let myself down and my children. Why can’t I accept that I am autistic and some things are hard? I would never, ever expect a person who is confided in a wheel chair to just get up and walk.  That does not stop me being so hard on myself because the stigma is still prevalent and I don’t in normal life discuss really autism because to be perfectly honest I am embarrassed and ashamed. I feel guilty and let down. I know you’re going to say I shouldn’t feel like this but I do and I have experienced people judge me so it is hard to change. Though on a positive note it is something I am working on, but it takes time especially when it damages you so emotionally. The treatment is still discriminator out there, people see mental illness or invisibility as a negative and something that makes you less of a person.

I think I am also scared with regards to autism as it was reported in the news that NHS are diagnosis less children with less severe autism. What next I feel like autism is misunderstood and I am scared for myself and others what the fortune holds. 

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Dear Bear and Beany

I hate the term girl gang

Hey readers,

There is this term knocking about on the internet called GIRL GANG and I hate it with a passion. Let me tell you why, well for a start I don’t need people to help me and nor do I like a person based on their gender. It is really not important to me and as sickly as it sounds I like a person because of who they are and not because they have a vagina.

girl gang

I don’t want to be an arse licker and you get that sense with this whole phenomena  of the term girl gang. I chose who I like and some girls quite frankly are twats where as others are my idols.

I don’t belong in gangs, it gives a sense of threatening and I don’t believe in ganging up on people to like you or others.

girls

The whole term of girl is condescending anyway, like we are not allowed to be called women because they are too hostile. But that is what we are and we should celebrate it. But also we don’t need to have to push our gender out there surely, shouldn’t we just forget about that and celebrate the actually person.

There are all these kind of ideas of the people in a girl gang whereas if it is men they don’t go on about their gender but merely just get to the point. Which is what is much more attractive. Some great women are not bold and assertive that doesn’t make them less of a female and any less of a reason to celebrate them. You only get certain type of person in these gangs but there is so much more to a person then a title.

feminism

I class myself as a feminist in the sense that everyone should have equal opportunities regardless of your gender. It should be fair and not sticking silly labels to an idea of empowering others when really all you are doing is excluding others. If you want help then cut the sectioning off and let’s just celebrate people regardless of whether they have a vagina or not and see them as a person in their own right.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

why being a woman sucks!

Hey readers,

Sometimes being a female can be lovely but other times it can totally suck. Let me tell you the things that I hate as a women.

I suppose the most obvious one is periods, which occur typically once a month where your emotions are all over the place and if that is not bad enough, you have blood for five to seven days leaking out of your vagina.

U by Kotex Brand shocked facepalm smh period GIF

A pain is having to wear bras and dealing with twisted straps, it is so frustrating.

The size of female clothing is ridiculous and varies from one shop to the next. Men have it is so much easier because they have a certain measurement that fits where as different sizes occur in women’s fashion, grrrrrr.

Feeling that if you have too many emotions going on then your not taking serious to the point where people deem you as being a drama queen.

 sad no baby crying emotions GIF

Pressures of being thin and trying to be this perfect ideal is horrible and you feel crap most of the time because I am so fucking fat.

You can’t pee anywhere, you have to find a suitable place to sit. I am so jealous of men that can piss anywhere including a bottle.

This expectation that us females are good at cooking, talking and all the other crappy stereotypes, not round here mate.

The pain of having to frequently  shave your legs in the summer if you want to wear a skirt.

If you chose to wear miscara are or eye make up and restraining yourself from rubbing your eyes or else you end up looking like Alice Cooper’s sister.

This idea that females are meant to be good at communicating and that we all love small talk. Well I don’t and I am suitable shit at, not to mention saying things at the wrong time.

Cheers for reading X

 

Why are you depressed

Hey readers,

I watched an interview on YouTube just now on itv on Lorraine Kelly’s show. It was an interview with Fearne Cotton speaking openly about depression. Lorraine made a commend  that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY PISSED ME OFF!  It was a conversation talking about Fearne’s friendship with a friend who was dealing with breast cancer called Chris.

The conversation went like this with Lorraine saying, ‘when your thinking about yourself and moaning about this, that and the next thing, think about what that girl has gone through and the bravery of her’.

I mean I don’t even know where to start on this, as a person who battles with depression it is appalling quite sad to hear such negativity and stigma. Fearne came on the show to discuss depression and instantly got belittled and somehow got treated as her illness was nothing compared to a physical illness,  due to silly comments like  the above made by Lorraine. 

Depression is an illness let’s bear that in the mind and how dare Lorraine to dumb down the experience to simply just moaning about life.People have killed themselves because their depression is so severe. No wonder no one talks about it when we get this stigma for moaning and that how dare we have a shit time.

I don’t doubt having breast cancer is hell but please Lorraine don’t trump one condition with another. They are completely different and if anyone is watching the interview whilst battling depression will only make them feel worse when you get the comments made by Lorraine. To view depression as moaning  will only make the depressive  feel more shit and less likely to talk. Because we depressives are so selfish arn’t we, always thinking about me. Well most depressives don’t talk because they are too ashamed due to the ridicule. That interview just showed it and Loorraine you let us all down.

Each day is a battle to get up with the turmoil of our inner mind, we are fighting to live. We are brave because we wake up and fight another day. The more we break down the fact that depression is nothing but moaning the better.

We should talk about depression openly and understand that it is ok to feel shit and hopeless. Sometimes we are happy and  masking everything. Don’t make assumptions that we are sitting around moaning, there could be a person in the workplace right now and you would not notice. 

With depression it is not just sitting there, it is more complex, more emotions then just sad.

One last thing before you judge think twice about making judgements of a person. That person might be going through hell  each day trying to fit in this shity, judgey society that we live in. 

Least not forget congratulations on Fearne for speaking out on such a taboo subject, especially when you are a mum. 

Cheers for reading X

January blues

Hey readers,

Can you believe that it is the 6th January already, ugh! Looking out of my window it is wet and miserable and I currently feel a bit pants, I think it is the case of the January blues. I tell you why I frigging hate this month.

  • Firstly, lets start with the fact that  you are now skint after the holidays after you have spend all your money on presents. Not to mention the amount of money you have forked out for them sodding rides, especially in my town they seem to overdosed the area in them. The one’s your little darlings can locate two miles away and because you have to go shopping with sodding the kids you can’t avoid them, ugh!
  • You are fat, because you have over indulged and put on another half a stone, of course it was fun at the time when I was stuffing my face with mince pies without a care in the world. Now I have to work my even bigger fat ass off because I can’t afford to buy bigger clothing because I am skint, init!
  • You have to deal with the mega sugar withdraws when your cold and skint.
  • It is back to normality and routine where lie-ins or lazying around are NOW not acceptable! Let’s not forget the dreaded the school run and silly o’clock, it is an absolute disgrace I tell ya!
  • The comedown from Christmas and the sense of magic has gone.
  • Everything feels bare and all the pretty lights have gone away. So now all I see is unattractive concrete.
  • It is cold, wet and generally boring because all the excitement of December has vanished.
  • Then there is them New Year’s resolutions that evaporate after the first week of  January casing you to go deeper into the blue mood.

Cheers for reading X

You Baby Me Mummy