Milestone 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


because I got through another week, as someone who is going through a depressive episode this is an achievement. Small things at the moment are a real struggle and if I could I would stay in bed all day. I literally, have to egg myself to get up to do something such as getting the clothes washing done. People who have never experienced depression will never know the struggle, it really is a mental battle.

I am struggling financially with things when my income has changed as I now have no carers allowance nor do I have disability benefits. It is really tough and trying to muddle on is a challenge in its self. Trying to find the money for milk or paying for a school trip makes you feel the worst parent ever. Small things but they all add up. When you dread how you are going to pay for and look after your child whilst not getting in debt with the electricity is all fun and games.

Cheers for reading X

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Pain 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


because I received the letter from the DWP for a reconsideration answer for a request to look at my application again for disability benefit.

The answer was no and scored zero again. I even included a letter of support from my old CPN but it appears that they have sent out the letter two days before receiving my letter, I just don’t know I bother.

It is headache that I don’t really need and it’s making me feel crap. This is how it is now we have to fight for an appeal. my anxiety goes through the roof and I just don’t feel good knowing that I have to wait for the whole appeal process to happen which could take months.

This seems to be making my mental health worse, it just makes me so angry as I have worked so hard over the past couple of years to make small but big improvements.

I suppose I have to remind myself I am not alone and other people also have to fight. I just feel angry at the system which is meant to help the I’ll and disabled. but they have just let most of us down big time.

Cheers for reading X

Drained

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

DRAINED.png

Because I am drained, I am really tired and my eldest is really testing me. Even  my hubby who is rather chilled himself it is slowly getting to him too.

My eldest is getting more violent (hitting, scratching, biting) and having meltdowns episodically after school. I am trying to deal with my own issues relating to my autism, so trying to find that winning combination is bloody hard work.

I get ‘advice’ but it is exhausted to implement the long list of new things to incorporate. I just get fed up with these professionals dumping this advice on to you. You then got to remember all these new rules. Along with having to go for PIP assessment next week my anxiety is really pushed. I just want that time to not have to think about how I am meant to perform and just be brain dead for a bit.

Cheers for reading X