Why I am against smacking children

Hey readers,

Last week The Association of Educational Psychologists said that they want to ban parents from smacking children at home.

Smacking is banned in schools however parents can smack their child at home as long as it is deemed reasonable.

silhouette photo of boy standing near glass wall

I 100% agree that smacking anywhere should be banned because it is physical violence regardless of the amount of strength you do it. I don’t see how children learn from being smacked by their parents, all it does is make them lie better. To me, that is not good for anyone.

I don’t think children learn from smacking if anything I think it can have an impact on their mental health and increase the chances of anxiety. This is because they will be scared in case at any moment the risk of doing anything wrong and that to have negative consequences.

Having this form of violence (in my eyes) can make a child feel really sad. This can make their home life feel crap because of knowing that if they do anything wrong regardless of it was intentionally an accident there is the risk they get hit.

I think hitting is a negative way to parent and it doesn’t solve any problems. It is much better to have other ways to teach the child right from wrong.

If children learn from their parents then they will believe that it is ok to hit someone and then there is the risk that they too may one day hit another person.

girl sitting on vehicle seat while looking at window

I don’t think it is fair that someone bigger then the child can go along and imitate and inflict pain on another. When will it stop, how will it end if it continues where do parents draw the line? How do you know if the parent gets fed up and thinks well got to hit the child harder to get the message through? This situation can escalate in a very toxic homelife impacting on the child’s mental health and other areas such as education.

I think if you want to earn respect from a child it doesn’t work if you hit them if anything it could result in the child hating the parent. It certainly wouldn’t want them to come to the parent and talk about any concerns they may have, as they don’t know how the parent will respond. Then this may cause a negative relationship between the child and parent, that can be damaging for the child.

I myself have been in similar situations and there is nothing worse as a child when you are petrified of going home to the horrible environment. You literally are scared and anxious at school. The anxiety gets worse closer to the end of the day. For me, I couldn’t probably concentrate on my school work because I was filled with dread and worried if I had done anything wrong therefore leading to being hit. It is the most horrible feeling in the world. The anxiety doesn’t just stop there it carries on all the time constant in the background. It is horrible to live like that and that is why I want smacking banned in the home.

Cheers for reading X

Adjusting

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

because my youngest has started full days at school this week and to say he is tired after school is an understatement. I was ambitious one day this week and took him to the library after school thinking he might enjoy it. Turns out nothing but winching and eventually a full down meltdown, joy I certainly learned from that experience. He is defiantly not used to full days like he does now.

I have been to the dentist which I hate but I had to have a filling which sucks, but it is done now. My dentist is social as well when he has fingers in my mouth, why. I can’t answer him coherently.

I have been loving also the darker nights. It feels so much cosy to sit and wrap up with a throw.

I hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

How to have a smooth school morning routine.

Hey readers,

Now we are back at school some of us *ahem* struggle with the morning run. It seems chaotic and rushed so here are some ways that have helped me to have a smooth school morning run without the stress.

Preparation do in the evening. 

So. where shall we start? well, I think the first important thing to incorporate into your school routine is preparing the night before to reduce the stress. This will help give you the confidence that everything is under control. Making sure that the school bags have been emptied of the millions of letters, getting the bag ready, having all the school uniform gathered and placed neatly for the morning. Therefore once it is morning all you have to worry about is getting your darlings motivated to get dressed.

Lunch.

If you have a child who takes a lunch to school preparing it the night before can help save some time in the morning. As parents, we need to do the minimal as it is important to make sure we have a HOT tea, crucial!

Reward Chart. 

If you are struggling to get your child motivated one way to help in the short term is a reward chart. Plan out each section – get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth etc and give star when that routine is done, once the child collects x amount of stickers they will be rewarded for their good behaviour. This can help ease your child into a productive routine and hopefully with time they know what to expect and it be a much calmer affair.

10 minutes early.

building ceiling classroom daylight
If you have children like me that are not what you would call speedy when they walk to school (ironic any other time you would think that they were the Bolt). Then leaving ten minutes early so that you can take your time, there is nothing worse, well for me than rushing around, it makes everyone a bit tetchy. Also, you can have a more relaxed affair as you are happy and no need to shout at the children to get a wiggle on. You can have an actually normal conversation as well, amazing!  

Being aware of what is happening. 

A thing that I have in the past struggled with is forgetting to check if there is something important happening at the school. Making sure you have a diary to put the important information such as needing to bring in money or food for a special occasion. Therefore you can feel in control and know what is happening beforehand. Make sure that you read the newsletters or any letter from the school bag the night before.

building ceiling classroom daylight

Breakfast.

I make sure that the cereal boxes are out, bowls and spoons the night before can really save some time in the morning. Doing the baths again the night before is another you can do to reduce the amount you have to prepare in the morning.

Anxiety. 

My eldest suffers quite with anxiety because of having autism. What can help settle him and reduce any conflict is talk to him the night before about anything that is bothering him and if you can try to come up with a solution.

Hope this helps and is there anything that helps you reduce the stress of the morning routine?

Cheers for reading X

I am cool with my son wearing a dress

Hey readers,

My son last week started year two at school. During year one in the summer term, he decided he wanted to wear a dress. I and my husband said yes we have no problem with him wearing a dress. He loves it even though his school friends ask him why. That is fine because kids are curious and I can tell you after the novelty they soon weren’t bothered at all. I also want to say at any time he can choose to change as he has a spare shorts and tee-shirt in his bag.

Now that my youngest who also is a boy started school last week has also asked to wear a dress, he asked we said yes. Now both my boys wear dresses at school.

I have no problem with my boys wearing dresses, trousers, shorts whatever. I don’t see why people get so cut about it. Surely boys should have the exact same freedom as girls and vice versa. I think it is a shame that society is fixated on having to separate girls and boys because really there is no need, it is just beyond silly. I think if we stopped trying to fit out kids into boxes then there would be fewer problems in the world.  Like the old saying goes let kids be kids.

IMG_8761

I believe as a parent my children can make their own choices, the only limit is obviously money otherwise go ahead chose what you want to be. I want them to have opportunities to express themselves and be their own person regardless of their gender. To me, if I didn’t let him wear the dress I deem that as sexist. Just because he is a boy he can’t wear it, why not?… let’s face it these gender divisions came from people’s attitudes that is all it is.

Do you know who got offended by my son wearing a school dress at school…. I can tell you this it certainly was not the children but the parents making a complaint. That speaks volumes really because children don’t care normally unless the family members have drilled it into them that this and that is wrong because you are a boy or a girl.

However, the problem of gender stereotypes doesn’t just happen with family and friends it goes deeper into society with the media that perpetuities these gender ideas of what is deemed the norm. Remember there was a time when girls could not wear trousers at school and now it is perfectly fine in most schools.

We Need to stop trying to make gender, it is fluid and kids need to be free to make their own choices and express themselves. It is the sexism in society that holds children back and causes problems with them not feeling good because they are a boy or girl. Why are people so focused on what gender you are. Surely we should focus on the individual and want they can offer rather than the fact my son is a boy and therefore can not wear dresses, it is just completely absurd you ask me. We need to change our attitudes by not focusing on if the child is a boy or girl but allowing kids to be free to be whoever they chose to be.

Cheers for reading X

school

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because it is the return of school and my eldest is going into Year 2 and my youngest started reception.

My youngest was super excited to start school and he absolutely loves it. Although he’s only been doing half days this week until next week and it will be the whole day.

I think one of the reasons why my youngest is so excited because he just loves to be just like his eldest brother. I am pleased to report that he has adapted well and we’ve had no tears which are really good.

For me, it’s slightly strange as it’s so quiet but it is nice to go back to the routine and get things done without having children to entertain. I am amazed at how much easy is to do chores without children about and getting them done in half the time.

I’m not used to the alarm clocks mind and getting up so early so we will slightly tired by the end of the week.

Hope you have had a good week

Cheers for reading X