Getting children out the door

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they  want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get someone urgent they go to  slough mode!

Here are some thoughts and conversationset I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door.

1) Please get ready, we need to get to school.

 please stitch lilo and stitch beg GIF

2) I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool.

3) If I you don’t get ready then I am going to turn off the TV but at the same time promising to turn the tv on because you need to sit still because you need to do their hair.

4) If you don’t get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let’s face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

 simpsons GIF

5) When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6) Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn’t want the illusion to vanish from the teachers eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7) Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended).

8) If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity in tact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, if gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

Bachelor in Paradise season 3 episode 9 abc crying GIF

10) If your child loves school as much as mine threaten that if they don’t get dressed won’t go to school that day and do nothing all day at home. Amazing how effective that is and they comply to your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

Mummascribbles

3 Little Buttons

 

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Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

boys.jpeg

We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X


JakiJellz

themumproject

Post Comment Love

Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so. 

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else. 

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

 

themumproject


JakiJellz

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Observations from having two children 

Hey readers,

I am luckily enough to be blessed with two boys. I remember in the earlier days of having my second child how completely different my world turned, compared to just having one bundle of joy.

Firstly, when having two children you need to have skills in multi-tasking and making sure each child has their own needs meet. For example, when it comes to play having suitable aged toys available to them. An example of this would be a playmat for the baby but for the toddler more advanced toys such as stacking blocks.


Online shopping or having the opportunity to take one child out is a blessing. I found it so hard trying to navigate a child and a push chair. I am really lucky enough to get hubby to look after one child whilst I went shopping with the other child. This situation really good for me right now as my eldest  needs a lot of one to one attention when it comes to practicing writing. Therefore, I don’t feel as guilty. But I am slowly learning for everyones sanity is it is ok to ask for help.

Make sure if you have two children of close age to make sure that when ever you chose something for them make sure that the item is exactly the same. Even if it is the same colour beaker, trust me the arguments over silly minor things like having a different colour cup is shocking. It keeps things calm and it protects your hearing from all the squabbling, win-win!
If you have electronical devices make sure there are two. I will one day persuade hubby to get another tablet because really it gives us all peace. Currently I dread when one child asks can they have the tablet, it is a nightmare. Sod the art of learning when it comes to technology, I opt for peace if I could. Until that day I am very much miffed at hubby, 😉.


A good thing about having two children is that the second time round  you kinda know generally what to expect. I felt more relaxed and confident as a parent with things like potty training and wenaing.
Having a second child close in ages is fantastic as my boys have such a strong bond and have a play partner. Not saying that they always get on as pickering often happens but I know they care and love one another. I don’t think you can ask for much more than that as a parent of two children.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
Mummascribbles
3 Little Buttons

Why I am pro-child telly!

Hey readers,

For the past five years of being a mother my main obsession has been Television / entertainment. I have been rattled with guilt, paranoia to near destruction of what other people think, mainly because of the pressure of social media but also because I feel my autism is a downfall. Therefore, I need to score points of being ‘ better’ because of my inabilities in other areas.

telly

I would obsess so much that i could not think of anything else, I would not enjoy my time with my child and felt always on edge.

I felt that my child if they watched TV every single condition associated with allowing your child to watch TV they would get.

I would get annoyed at hubby being so relaxed with just turning the telly on and I am always on edge. My whole body aches from anxiety. I worry that I am a failure because I allow my child to watch TV.

But recently I have learnt to accept that you know what TV isn’t that bad. It can be enjoyable, I love good old Mr Bean.

kid tv

TV can have a positive effect it can help with my son’s speech delay, it can educate them or it can simply help my eldest wind down from when he gets in from school.

I have noticed that if I live the TV all day long thew kids get bored, they wonder off. They look for something to do and they happy play together or entertain themselves.

When I dropped the guilt and thought fuck it, as long as they are happy, fed and alive that is all that matters.

kid tv 2

It is not the end of the world, it is so hard for any more especially first time round to know what to do and how to deal with giving the right amount of input.

But hand on my heart I have found the more relaxed I am, the more relaxed everyone else is around me.

Sometimes, you have to accept what the situation is and yes sometimes the 43 inch  babysitter helps because I am struggling or just need a break.

We are all more happy when I adopt this attitude. Plus, my eldest watched very little TV and very likely autistic. my youngest watches a TV, more clear in speech and socialable and not likely autistic. What does that say?!

So, if your reading this, give yourself a break, you are properly doing fine and the more research shows us that more then ever are parents more engaged.

Cheers for reading X

 

3 Little Buttons
JakiJellz
Best of Worst

Contentment 

Sometimes I am knackered,

But then I look at you

Drifting off to sleep,

Knowing you are happy

And content.

The doubts of motherhood

Erode away,

Knowing that I might be

Doing this crucial job

OK and then for moment

I applaude my role

And that deep down

I’m doing OK.

Time

Hey readers,

my word of the week is

TIME.png

What I mean to say about this is lack of time due to the fact that it is half term. As lovely as half term is it leaves me lacking time. I feel like I don’t have enough of it this week and feel a bit tired. It is exhausting work trying to entertain children whilst trying desperately holding on to your sanity.

I attempt to do a fun activity such as playing with Plasticine, nice little relaxing activity for my boys. Don’t be silly, I have never been so God dame frustrated in my life. I have to supervise to make sure everyone has got an equal amount, the same colours and sit in the middle making sure that it does not kick off. I don’t need to say anymore then my patience can run very thin.

This has what most of it has been like, seriously sometimes I question why I bother. Sometimes, it is much to turn telly on and deal with the crippling guilt of being the ‘slummy mummy’.

Roll on Monday where I can breathe and enjoy the silence without thinking that boys are next door planning on taking over the world.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Days like today!

Hey readers,

I am just sitting on my bed as it is the most calming place for me to think.

mojo 2

Right now l have lost my mojo. I get days where I can’t seem to master the simplest of tasks and just trying to keep the momentum going is a challenge. Why is it I have these type of days? I feel like I totally suck at everything I seem to touch. Life just seems so unbearable and the jealous hits me seeing other mums just getting on with life. Where some days I can’t even be bothered to get up or get dressed. I mean I do because the only think that motivates me is the persistent fear of the fact that social services will come  knocking at my door because I am an autistic depressive.

mojo

Don’t get me wrong there days when I can just plod on but this last week has nearly killed me to get through the days. I think most of the time I fantasise about just getting up and opening that door and running out and escaping myself misery.

I was in two minds to write this down as people don’t want to hear about the depressive mother who appears to be totally ungrateful! I mean there are loads of women that would love this opportunity and I beat myself up all the time for when I am being shit.  But honestly how do some mothers enjoy every single moment because I don’t,  I really don’t. Am I shit mother for saying that, I do not know. However, it does not matter anyway because I automatically have a special place in the shit mum’s club because I am an autistic mother therefore I do not obtain the special innate mothering skills that bond me and my child

mojo 3

 Most of the time I am literally winging it and playing the part through the medium of masking or learning a script. I can be garnered to be mucking up at some point and being told how to be because yet again my autism brain is skewed!

Cheers for reading X

Shouty Mummy

Hey readers,

Today I lost my cool, I have had enough of bickering, the noise, my  anxiety and just generaal fucking life. I scream becuase I can’t cope, I don’t know what to say to husband, who trys be the reasoner, who quite frankly pisses me off becuase he is better then I will ever be.

I am useless, all the parent training, all the promises have gone straight out of the windown yet again. I am full of shit.

I can’t communicate anything to anyone, I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. I mean  honestly who gives a fuck about mega bricks.

I am angry at the kids, at the husband at me for losing a stupid letter. I misplace everything and can’t get it together. My life has fallen apart at this moment.

I never get anything right, I make empty promises.

I try to be calm next time,

I try to listen next time,

Instead I am full of wasted air.

I try not to let my anxiety get in the way and do stupid activities that are not ideal or convenient because I  can’t be rational. I can’t work things out like most people can. I have to do something then and not later. I push, push, push! Story.Of.My.Life.

I lose my shit, get angry have a meltdown and escape to my bedroom leaving everything like a world war there zone and my husband can deal with the aftermath of my force.

I am a useless piece of shit that expects too much from everyone. I have no patience, I am too literal and always fuck up! I constantly question why I had children, am I fit mother and just dealth everything I do. I find it hard to imagine how breeze through parenthood whereas I feel a total mess at each stage of the journey.

This is me.
Thanks for reading X

Life with Baby Kicks