Things you do as a mum

Hey readers,

Some people think that us parents do nothing but just sit and drink tea all day. This may be true of some things, however some things I need praise for the things I can achieve as a parent. Here is the type of things I am successful to achieve as a parent.

Cleaning up my darling child’s snot, here you go, darling, have my lovely warm clean jumper sleeve to remove that string of snot. I don’t care if I look a tramp, I just can’t stomach it anymore having to see you try to lick it away.  *This is the kind of thing that normally happens when we are in public and I cannot access any bog roll*

I am suitably relaxed on the sofa watching This Morning and then the sheer terror washes over me as I hear the loud shout, “mummy, I’ve done a poo,” argh.  That means I have to rush to the bathroom to do the loving chore of wiping the feces of my son’s bottom. I just pray it is not runny as it goes absolutely everywhere!

abstract 1

Some skills you never think you will acquire, until suddenly you become a parent and you have to think right outside the box (which to be honest as an autistic person myself is f**king hard and uses all my resources I can tell ya). It is amazing the stories I can come up with or using techniques just to keep the child quiet for five minutes when we are out. I never thought I could be so creative waiting in a busy dentist room with a leaflet to entertain a child.

You know what I never heard my own voice as much as becoming a parent, I take more notice than my child. Maybe it would be easier to invent a tiny person in my head who appreciates what I say, as no other sod does,  haha!

abstract 2

I never knew there was such a thing as speed cleaning and boy have I got that down to a T. I have never dashed around the home to quickly make it less of a s**t tip in two minutes when I am greeted with unexpected visits.

One thing you soon learn early on in the game of parenting is that bribery wins the day, saves societies and makes family units strong.

It seems my children are allergic to finding anything that is requested of them, I seem to have developed a skill where I can find anything, particularly when it is so clearly visible to the naked eye. This skill takes little effort and nine times out of 10 can be sorted within 30 seconds, I know what your thinking totes amazeballs, right?!

abstracxt 3

Once I  became a parent it seems I have another person to deal with and that is my little friend guilt, that is always committed to being there for me 100%.

Once I was not a fan of sick, but somehow miracles do happen and I am not afraid of sick anymore. If my child spontaneously wants to be sick on me, not that I would have chosen it but I would get on with it and deal with it.

Isn’t motherhood amazing, people don’t realise the commitment, but parents you mostly on average rock. *bar the odd dodgy parent*.

Cheers for reading X

Advertisements

Wet

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because it has been so cold, I am literally freezing, especially at night. I have even hunted down my hot water bottle and stacked throws up on to my bed at night.
In other news sadly my husband’s uncle died and we need to attend the funeral next week.

Sadly, the school has a ridiculous system with trying to get leave for a child. It doesn’t help the matter that the teacher lies saying that it is the government who deal with it, then the local authority. Turns out it is the head teacher who decides. Get this though the head automatically declines regardless so then it is up to to the local authority anyway.

I am feeling totally frustrated, what is the point in filling a form five days before to get the leave when it means nothing anyway. So, we won’t know now whether we will be have to pay money. We also have to stay due to the fact that it is 3 hours away so that is 2 days equals £240! I know crap!

Anyways hope you have had a good week,
Cheers for reading X

Why playgrounds are ace

Hey readers,

 

If you are a parent you would have experienced taking your child to the playground. I think they are brilliant resource for everyone to use and here is why.

They get you out the house and get you away from the four walls or watching too much tv.

Playgrounds are a great way of getting a change of scenery and be surrounded by green. Sometimes, just getting away from the same places is a blessing in disguise.

If there is one thing I love more then anything in the world as a parent is finding fun things to do with my child that are free because let’s face it children come with a bloody big price tag, especially when they hit school. So, if I can save some money somewhere then going to the playground is one. Plus it helps with keeping children entertained and stop complaining for awhile that they are a bored.

 kids ouch slide ow playground GIF

Playgrounds are great for exercise, playing chase, walking or even pushing a child on the swing all contributes to keeping you active.

Going to the playground allows you to blow some cobwebs of and get some much needed fresh  air. It also provides a mental boost, and helps clear your head. It really is amazing such a small and simple activity can have a huge impact on making you feel less crap and giving you the change to think more clearer.

Visiting a playground outdoors gives the child the opportunity to get vitamin D from being out in the fresh air and  help build strength in their bones.

Playground, Play, Children, Adventure

Playgrounds encourage free play, where the child decides what they want to do, they can even make up their own games or use their imagination on the playground apparatus. This next  point coincides with the above one in the fact that a  child can test out there communional skills with socialising with other children at the playground. Therefore possibility  of working together to establish what they want to do. There is also the positive effect of finding a person to share the enjoyment of play with someone who has similar interests in what they like to do in the playground.

Therefore I conclude that playgrounds are ACE!

Cheers for reading X

Getting children out of the door

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they  want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get someone urgent they go to  slough mode!

Here are some thoughts and conversationset I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door.

1) Please get ready, we need to get to school.

 please stitch lilo and stitch beg GIF

2) I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool.

3) If I you don’t get ready then I am going to turn off the TV but at the same time promising to turn the tv on because you need to sit still because you need to do their hair.

4) If you don’t get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let’s face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

 simpsons GIF

5) When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6) Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn’t want the illusion to vanish from the teachers eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7) Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended).

8) If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity in tact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, if gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

Bachelor in Paradise season 3 episode 9 abc crying GIF

10) If your child loves school as much as mine threaten that if they don’t get dressed won’t go to school that day and do nothing all day at home. Amazing how effective that is and they comply to your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

Mummascribbles

3 Little Buttons

 

Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

boys.jpeg

We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

wp-image-1186504633

I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X