Time 

Sometimes, it’s hard to find inspiration but then things happen which you don’t realise and that inspire you to write.

When I’m feeling lost, I walk away from that situation because the more I think about it the more confused I get. 

Allow myself time to think gives me opportunity for more avenues to work on. give me the chance to make mistakes but also learn from them. he gives me time to think about where I want to go and the vision I have rather than just rushing around getting lost and confused. it is probably the best advice I could give.

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Keep writing 

Hey readers,

People say, ‘just keep writing’  is the mantra to live by. I write my blog on all sorts of things that inspire me, from poetry to the food I love. I am not a niche kind of person, I just go with what inspires me within that moment and share it with the world.

There are days when I completely lost my motivation to continue to write or even log into WordPress. As a suffer from anxiety and depression the simplest things can feel like climbing a mountain and sadly one of them is writing. Even though from a young age have found writing down the better way for me to communicate my emotions, the struggle is there.

But when I write it makes a huge difference to me. The hardest bit is to actually get started, as soon as crack that then my thoughts just flow and I have so many thoughts believe me and you!

Sometimes, I think my writing is rubbish, though I believe that should not stop me from writing as it has purpose.  I do believe it is a good mantra to keep writing, no matter what the length, one sentence or pages of words, it keeps your mind light up and can open up new ideas.  Not to mention the benefit of keeping constantly writing every day can build up your confidence and improve in the skill of writing. We can’t be all natural, but we can practice. Deep down that is ok, because even if no one enjoys my content, I still am getting something out of it, no matter if it is big or small it is helping. There are many other worse things to do in life then ramble of some words (my interpretation of  my work). Of course, I am my hardest critic. However, I am going to remain optimistic because I enjoy ands it helps deal with the shit in my life.

Cheers for reading X

 

Cold 

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

because I have had a right stinker of a cold. As I haven’t had one for awhile it really knocks you off your feet.  I suppose it was bound to happen when your child returns to school and all them germs everywhere. It has been so hard to have the energy to do anything other than collapse on the sofa, which is extremely hard when you have two little children that have a lot of energy.

Still, you have to get up don’t you because no one cares on you know if you have a cold and you feel rubbish. Early mornings are a killer! But at least it’s Friday now and the weekend is here, so I can relax a little bit in between doing the washing and homework.

I’ve also lost my mojo for writing in my blog which happens now and again. Maybe because I’ve got no energy and you got to force yourself to do it just to keep it going otherwise you lose sight of wanting to succeed for yourself.

Cheers for reading X

May 2017 Goals

Hey readers,

I am feeling a bit meh today, so to help me shake the blues I thought I would do some positive work. Therefore I am going to look at some things I want to achieve this month.

Firstly, I want to grow my Instagram followers, I recently set up a new Instagram profile and want increase my followers from currently 193 to 250. Not sure if this is ambitious or just right. Not worried if I don’t achieve it, just something I want to aim for.

insta

Secondly, I would like to fit four books in the month. My mood appears to be influencing my motivation to get anything done. So if I have a concrete plan hopefully that should kick me in the right direction.

books

Thirdly, I want to start running again, I got lazy but I genuinely miss it. It is good having that burn feeling after. I find running really good for me as it helps get rid of the feelings of frustrations and  inadequacies that I have, that I constantly torment myself with.

running

Fourthly, I want to get bit more experimental in the kitchen with trying different recipes. I am not good with trying new as it scares me. I start of with best intentions, having ideas etc but when it comes down to the crunch I  procrastinate hardcore. I think it is the fear that is holding me back. However, one way to help reduce that fear and anxiety is choosing recipes that are simple. I seem to go to the extremes and forgot to do something new that is best to always start with baby steps, until you grow with confidence.

cooking

Finally, probably one of my favourite goals is to get a little bit experimental with the camera. It is easy to be lazy and click and shot. But I have some knowledge that I can use, therefore experiment and grow. It is easier said then done but one can only try.

camera

 Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


 

The Tale of Mummyhood

Twin Mummy and Daddy

Today is the day

Hey readers,

I know I am like a recorder player keep coming back and discussing the same old topic. So I am really sorry if it is repetitive and boring. But I need to do something and I need to lose weight. TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!

I don’t know why i get into these viscous cycles of binges. I need to focus, so where better then my blog to help keep a record of my ‘weightless journey’.

Argh…. so today I have eaten a cream egg (not so bad until the rest), 5 kit kat things and 500g Galaxy caramel washed down with full fat coke cola (330ml). I feel sick, hideous and ashamed. I did this when the husband was out and feel like  a sneaky snake. Because let’s face binge eating is sneaky and private.

Why do I do it? well from as young as 7 I turned to food for comfort, whether good or bad, I was there shuffling it in. Sadly, I now have piled on the pounds and I now the heaviest I have ever been.

I have lost weight so I know can do it, it is the change of behaviour and quitting the sugar.

To me sugar is like a drug and so very addictive. Once you start getting sugar, you just want more and more of the fucker. I want to quit it because I don’t enjoy it and it is merely but an enemy now, who I hate!

I struggle with willpower but hoping to use a goal such as lose x amount and I can buy something that i desperately want. If I don;t reach that goal I have to weight. What I am going to do is every pound I lose i put aside £1. When I have got the money for the desired object i can pay for it. My first thing that I want is some more emoji cards for my light box.

 

Wish me luck.

Today is the start:

Start weight – 14.11.5

goal weight 13.11.5

Here is a full shot of me and like most over weight people hate it!

cheers for reading X