Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

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We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X


JakiJellz

themumproject

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Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so. 

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else. 

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

 

themumproject


JakiJellz

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Resting 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

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because we have been to London the week before for a holiday and I am exhausted. Taking kids there is solid, especially when you the parent has additional needs to add in the mix.

So, because we have been full on the week before I have been rested as I did not sleep very well because of sleeping with kids as you can imagine. there is nothing like getting into your own bed and have a foot or hand shoved in your face,  😂  I am physically and mentally exhausted and needed to rest my body. Holidays are really testing but there was a lot of fun as well.

It has been a bit of downtime and giving me change to catch up on all the watching and YouTube whilst living in a launderette 😉

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Observations from having two children 

Hey readers,

I am luckily enough to be blessed with two boys. I remember in the earlier days of having my second child how completely different my world turned, compared to just having one bundle of joy.

Firstly, when having two children you need to have skills in multi-tasking and making sure each child has their own needs meet. For example, when it comes to play having suitable aged toys available to them. An example of this would be a playmat for the baby but for the toddler more advanced toys such as stacking blocks.


Online shopping or having the opportunity to take one child out is a blessing. I found it so hard trying to navigate a child and a push chair. I am really lucky enough to get hubby to look after one child whilst I went shopping with the other child. This situation really good for me right now as my eldest  needs a lot of one to one attention when it comes to practicing writing. Therefore, I don’t feel as guilty. But I am slowly learning for everyones sanity is it is ok to ask for help.

Make sure if you have two children of close age to make sure that when ever you chose something for them make sure that the item is exactly the same. Even if it is the same colour beaker, trust me the arguments over silly minor things like having a different colour cup is shocking. It keeps things calm and it protects your hearing from all the squabbling, win-win!
If you have electronical devices make sure there are two. I will one day persuade hubby to get another tablet because really it gives us all peace. Currently I dread when one child asks can they have the tablet, it is a nightmare. Sod the art of learning when it comes to technology, I opt for peace if I could. Until that day I am very much miffed at hubby, 😉.


A good thing about having two children is that the second time round  you kinda know generally what to expect. I felt more relaxed and confident as a parent with things like potty training and wenaing.
Having a second child close in ages is fantastic as my boys have such a strong bond and have a play partner. Not saying that they always get on as pickering often happens but I know they care and love one another. I don’t think you can ask for much more than that as a parent of two children.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
Mummascribbles
3 Little Buttons

Observations of what happens in a heatwave 

Hey readers,

 Have you noticed that it is a tat on the hot side, yep, me too and I am terribly British in which I love a good moan about the weather. So let’s look at my accurate portray of what it is like to experience going through a heatwave.

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You know you are going through a heatwave when every sentence, every hour of the day is announcing to anyone who is listening, ‘It’s hot’.  Because no one obviously has noticed that big  yellow ball in the sky.

You go bat shit crazy in the supermarket for multi packs of ice lollies like your life depends on it.

You love your fan like a family member.

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Never has a cold shower felt so good until your child decides to walk in on you and declare you have a hole.

You get beyond frustrated at stupid questions asked by children about who is the smelliest when really all that matters right now is trying to concentrate on cramming as may ice cubes as possible into your cup.

You worry your bladder may explode because you have drank your weight in cold drinks in just one day.

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Your pillow has never felt so pumped then during this heatwave with constantly turning over the pillow at night.

You suddenly become a raging manic woman over the tiniest of things  because you fuse has finally blown and throwing wet pants on mummy’s head tips her right over that edge.

The dreaded bedtime you have to do. The ultimate question, should or should you not open the windows? Where the bedroom is like a fucking sauna and outside is just noise from people constantly revving and horn beeping timed just around the bed time hour. Don’t they know these people outside having fun at bedtime hour makes this mama very, very angry.

You pine for autumn so hard, please bring it back, because I don’t know if I can cope with any more under boob sweat.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Why I am pro-child telly!

Hey readers,

For the past five years of being a mother my main obsession has been Television / entertainment. I have been rattled with guilt, paranoia to near destruction of what other people think, mainly because of the pressure of social media but also because I feel my autism is a downfall. Therefore, I need to score points of being ‘ better’ because of my inabilities in other areas.

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I would obsess so much that i could not think of anything else, I would not enjoy my time with my child and felt always on edge.

I felt that my child if they watched TV every single condition associated with allowing your child to watch TV they would get.

I would get annoyed at hubby being so relaxed with just turning the telly on and I am always on edge. My whole body aches from anxiety. I worry that I am a failure because I allow my child to watch TV.

But recently I have learnt to accept that you know what TV isn’t that bad. It can be enjoyable, I love good old Mr Bean.

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TV can have a positive effect it can help with my son’s speech delay, it can educate them or it can simply help my eldest wind down from when he gets in from school.

I have noticed that if I live the TV all day long thew kids get bored, they wonder off. They look for something to do and they happy play together or entertain themselves.

When I dropped the guilt and thought fuck it, as long as they are happy, fed and alive that is all that matters.

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It is not the end of the world, it is so hard for any more especially first time round to know what to do and how to deal with giving the right amount of input.

But hand on my heart I have found the more relaxed I am, the more relaxed everyone else is around me.

Sometimes, you have to accept what the situation is and yes sometimes the 43 inch  babysitter helps because I am struggling or just need a break.

We are all more happy when I adopt this attitude. Plus, my eldest watched very little TV and very likely autistic. my youngest watches a TV, more clear in speech and socialable and not likely autistic. What does that say?!

So, if your reading this, give yourself a break, you are properly doing fine and the more research shows us that more then ever are parents more engaged.

Cheers for reading X

 

3 Little Buttons
JakiJellz
Best of Worst

What is Home?

Hey readers,

The people of Wayfair went on the hunt to find out what home is for people. This is what Wayfair did:

We hit the streets of London over the Easter weekend equipped with an armchair and a microphone to find out what home really means to us! The findings were both insightful and heartwarming, exposing that our homes are much more than just buildings or places, they are family, comfort, inspiration, happiness and much more. Not only that, but we spoke to a further 400 recipients across the UK & found that over 71% of people coined the sofa as the most important item of furniture in their home, placing the importance on socializing and making use of communal spaces (or being couch potatoes if you look at it another way!)  

Wayfair are doing a campaign on ‘What is Home?’ and for me personally home is not necessarily the physical things but the meaning associated with home. It is safety where when I close the front door I can come into my home and feel less judged.

You see I am autistic and I struggle going out in the outside world, so knowing I have a place where I can relax and not have to put on a mask is comforting. It makes me feel less anxious especially after a hard day, I can come home to my family and just be me without the fear of being judged.

Home is a place where I don’t have to be agitated or on guard, I can kick back on the sofa and just be. Enjoying the calm moments of reading a book with a blanket whilst my two boys are playing next door together with their Lego.

It feels like home because I am a mum and I provide all the needs for my children where they can fun but also develop as children. Where they will hold the memories for years of all the happy times of their childhood.

It is times when we lounge on a Sunday as a family scrawled out whilst watching Big Heads and rooting for King Henry VIII over Donald Trump.

Home is where we get excited about the small things we can do together as a family like watching a sunset or have Sunday dinner and discussing why mummy is called poopoo, while the boys are in hysterics over the hilariousness of it all.

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What does home mean to you? What ideas stir up when you think of home?

Cheers for reading X

Cuddle Fairy
Bringing up Georgia
Pink Pear Bear

Contentment 

Sometimes I am knackered,

But then I look at you

Drifting off to sleep,

Knowing you are happy

And content.

The doubts of motherhood

Erode away,

Knowing that I might be

Doing this crucial job

OK and then for moment

I applaude my role

And that deep down

I’m doing OK.

Grumpy

Hey readers,

My word of the word of the week is:

Grumpy

because sometimes life sucks, especially during the week before your period, which affects me emotionally the worst. Seriously, the smallest things are triggers and I get SO irritated, breathe and I may snap, lol!

It doesn’t help that I have a stinking cold courtesy of my boys, cheers lads I love you too 😉 So I have been accumulating piles of snot rags with this constant stream of snot, when will it end, boohoo! It sucks too because as a mum you are expected to just get on with it regardless if you feel like hell. I mean my arm could be dangling of and I would still have to get up and wipe my son’s arse! Parenting sometimes lovely other times well quite frankly it is pants!

I be honest I spend most of my time mopping at home, in the most comfortest clothes as I am so bloated. But I am entitled to that because I am a women and that my friends is a fact!

Hope you have had a lovely week readers,

Cheers for reading X

 

The Reading Residence