Getting children out of the door

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they  want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get someone urgent they go to  slough mode!

Here are some thoughts and conversationset I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door.

1) Please get ready, we need to get to school.

 please stitch lilo and stitch beg GIF

2) I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool.

3) If I you don’t get ready then I am going to turn off the TV but at the same time promising to turn the tv on because you need to sit still because you need to do their hair.

4) If you don’t get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let’s face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

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5) When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6) Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn’t want the illusion to vanish from the teachers eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7) Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended).

8) If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity in tact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, if gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

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10) If your child loves school as much as mine threaten that if they don’t get dressed won’t go to school that day and do nothing all day at home. Amazing how effective that is and they comply to your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

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Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

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We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X

 

 

Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

 

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

 

Resting 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

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because we have been to London the week before for a holiday and I am exhausted. Taking kids there is solid, especially when you the parent has additional needs to add in the mix.

So, because we have been full on the week before I have been rested as I did not sleep very well because of sleeping with kids as you can imagine. there is nothing like getting into your own bed and have a foot or hand shoved in your face,  😂  I am physically and mentally exhausted and needed to rest my body. Holidays are really testing but there was a lot of fun as well.

It has been a bit of downtime and giving me change to catch up on all the watching and YouTube whilst living in a launderette 😉

Cheers for reading X

Observations from having two children 

Hey readers,

I am luckily enough to be blessed with two boys. I remember in the earlier days of having my second child how completely different my world turned, compared to just having one bundle of joy.

Firstly, when having two children you need to have skills in multi-tasking and making sure each child has their own needs meet. For example, when it comes to play having suitable aged toys available to them. An example of this would be a playmat for the baby but for the toddler more advanced toys such as stacking blocks.


Online shopping or having the opportunity to take one child out is a blessing. I found it so hard trying to navigate a child and a push chair. I am really lucky enough to get hubby to look after one child whilst I went shopping with the other child. This situation really good for me right now as my eldest  needs a lot of one to one attention when it comes to practicing writing. Therefore, I don’t feel as guilty. But I am slowly learning for everyones sanity is it is ok to ask for help.

Make sure if you have two children of close age to make sure that when ever you chose something for them make sure that the item is exactly the same. Even if it is the same colour beaker, trust me the arguments over silly minor things like having a different colour cup is shocking. It keeps things calm and it protects your hearing from all the squabbling, win-win!
If you have electronical devices make sure there are two. I will one day persuade hubby to get another tablet because really it gives us all peace. Currently I dread when one child asks can they have the tablet, it is a nightmare. Sod the art of learning when it comes to technology, I opt for peace if I could. Until that day I am very much miffed at hubby, 😉.


A good thing about having two children is that the second time round  you kinda know generally what to expect. I felt more relaxed and confident as a parent with things like potty training and wenaing.
Having a second child close in ages is fantastic as my boys have such a strong bond and have a play partner. Not saying that they always get on as pickering often happens but I know they care and love one another. I don’t think you can ask for much more than that as a parent of two children.

Cheers for reading X

Observations of what happens in a heatwave 

Hey readers,

 Have you noticed that it is a tat on the hot side, yep, me too and I am terribly British in which I love a good moan about the weather. So let’s look at my accurate portray of what it is like to experience going through a heatwave.

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You know you are going through a heatwave when every sentence, every hour of the day is announcing to anyone who is listening, ‘It’s hot’.  Because no one obviously has noticed that big  yellow ball in the sky.

You go bat shit crazy in the supermarket for multi packs of ice lollies like your life depends on it.

You love your fan like a family member.

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Never has a cold shower felt so good until your child decides to walk in on you and declare you have a hole.

You get beyond frustrated at stupid questions asked by children about who is the smelliest when really all that matters right now is trying to concentrate on cramming as may ice cubes as possible into your cup.

You worry your bladder may explode because you have drank your weight in cold drinks in just one day.

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Your pillow has never felt so pumped then during this heatwave with constantly turning over the pillow at night.

You suddenly become a raging manic woman over the tiniest of things  because you fuse has finally blown and throwing wet pants on mummy’s head tips her right over that edge.

The dreaded bedtime you have to do. The ultimate question, should or should you not open the windows? Where the bedroom is like a fucking sauna and outside is just noise from people constantly revving and horn beeping timed just around the bed time hour. Don’t they know these people outside having fun at bedtime hour makes this mama very, very angry.

You pine for autumn so hard, please bring it back, because I don’t know if I can cope with any more under boob sweat.

Cheers for reading X

Mummuddlingthrough

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