Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

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We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X


JakiJellz

themumproject

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Observations from having two children 

Hey readers,

I am luckily enough to be blessed with two boys. I remember in the earlier days of having my second child how completely different my world turned, compared to just having one bundle of joy.

Firstly, when having two children you need to have skills in multi-tasking and making sure each child has their own needs meet. For example, when it comes to play having suitable aged toys available to them. An example of this would be a playmat for the baby but for the toddler more advanced toys such as stacking blocks.


Online shopping or having the opportunity to take one child out is a blessing. I found it so hard trying to navigate a child and a push chair. I am really lucky enough to get hubby to look after one child whilst I went shopping with the other child. This situation really good for me right now as my eldest  needs a lot of one to one attention when it comes to practicing writing. Therefore, I don’t feel as guilty. But I am slowly learning for everyones sanity is it is ok to ask for help.

Make sure if you have two children of close age to make sure that when ever you chose something for them make sure that the item is exactly the same. Even if it is the same colour beaker, trust me the arguments over silly minor things like having a different colour cup is shocking. It keeps things calm and it protects your hearing from all the squabbling, win-win!
If you have electronical devices make sure there are two. I will one day persuade hubby to get another tablet because really it gives us all peace. Currently I dread when one child asks can they have the tablet, it is a nightmare. Sod the art of learning when it comes to technology, I opt for peace if I could. Until that day I am very much miffed at hubby, 😉.


A good thing about having two children is that the second time round  you kinda know generally what to expect. I felt more relaxed and confident as a parent with things like potty training and wenaing.
Having a second child close in ages is fantastic as my boys have such a strong bond and have a play partner. Not saying that they always get on as pickering often happens but I know they care and love one another. I don’t think you can ask for much more than that as a parent of two children.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
Mummascribbles
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Days like today!

Hey readers,

I am just sitting on my bed as it is the most calming place for me to think.

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Right now l have lost my mojo. I get days where I can’t seem to master the simplest of tasks and just trying to keep the momentum going is a challenge. Why is it I have these type of days? I feel like I totally suck at everything I seem to touch. Life just seems so unbearable and the jealous hits me seeing other mums just getting on with life. Where some days I can’t even be bothered to get up or get dressed. I mean I do because the only think that motivates me is the persistent fear of the fact that social services will come  knocking at my door because I am an autistic depressive.

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Don’t get me wrong there days when I can just plod on but this last week has nearly killed me to get through the days. I think most of the time I fantasise about just getting up and opening that door and running out and escaping myself misery.

I was in two minds to write this down as people don’t want to hear about the depressive mother who appears to be totally ungrateful! I mean there are loads of women that would love this opportunity and I beat myself up all the time for when I am being shit.  But honestly how do some mothers enjoy every single moment because I don’t,  I really don’t. Am I shit mother for saying that, I do not know. However, it does not matter anyway because I automatically have a special place in the shit mum’s club because I am an autistic mother therefore I do not obtain the special innate mothering skills that bond me and my child

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 Most of the time I am literally winging it and playing the part through the medium of masking or learning a script. I can be garnered to be mucking up at some point and being told how to be because yet again my autism brain is skewed!

Cheers for reading X

Mother’s Day Guide

Hey readers,

 

We are now in March and that means it is fast approaching Mother’s day (26 March 2017). Sometimes, it can be a struggle to get gifts especially as most of the stuff in shops tends to be a bit lovie-dovie stuff. Which is fine if you are into that stuff but if you are not it can be a pain to find something suitable. So, I have come up with a gift guide to help inspire you.

 

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1. Combine Spring with Mother’s day with this beautiful heart shaped wreathe from Matalan (£8).

2. Get something personalised with this rotating photo frame from  Matalan for (£6).

3. If your mum is not into girly type stuff then this is a winner, It is The Girl On The Train DVD from Tesco (£15).

4. If you have a book loving mum and what something humous then you should definitely checkout this Ladybird classic with a twist from  Tesco (£3.85).

5. Who doesn’t love a candle, so this is a lovely little gift set of 6 Yankee Candle green votive gift set from Asda for (£5).

6. For an uplifting read check this book all about finding happiness in the small stuff by Fearne Cotton. From Waterstones for £11.99.

I hope you have a lovely time celebrating Mother’s day.

Cheers for reading X

Letter to the lady in the resturant 

Hey Lady,

Yes I see you give me evils, I know what your thinking, how dare I bring my child to the restaurant and the check of it to let it scream blue murder. I know your children are perfect sitting there ignoring each other with there electronics. I don’t care normally, but when you judge me, I will judge you. Your subtle involvement is merely rude and unhelpful. I am a parent of two young children and they are not perfect nor is my parenting. Yes they make noise but that is there right and sometimes it can get out of hand. However, us parents are trying to deal with the situation and stop the horrendous noises. Your judgement really is unhelpful to say the least.

You see we were travelling back home from a long day visiting relatives and it was bank holiday. My hubby really wanted an Indian and to be honest he is a bit of foodie. I on the other hand much prefer McDonalds with children, at least no one judges you when your child if it decides to have a tantrum.

But why can’t we eat in a restaurant, there is no law that says we can’t. We are just left to feel rubbish because we are not performing seals. I know you would love us to ‘control’ our child but I am too liberal for that carry on. Why should I hide behind doors or feel ashamed my child is not perfect, he is three for God’s sake and can sit no longer then five minutes if we are lucky. But he needs to learn the rules of the game, needs to test his boundaries,more important mummy and daddy need to fucking eat and this is the only place to get food this time of the day.

The tuttering doesn’t help anyone and you are not squeaky clean here either. You are four adults getting pissed further and further into the night and making your own ridiculous loud volume. Now, this doesn’t normally bother me but if you keep looking at me every other second, it bothers me. you made me feel shit and a bad parent. I am no one near perfect but for I try, and nothing is worse for someone with social anxiety to feel that they are constantly being judged. So next time please think about your actions, you may want instant action but it has left me feeling pretty crappy and desperate to escape, much to the annoyance of my husband.

Next time I am not asking you to be my friend,  all I want is you to try to be a little more understanding, it would make a huge difference. It would break down the whole judgement that seems to happen frequently when we go out to adult type places. Giving parents with little self confidence the encourage to go out with the child. Even if it is just to a restaurant to eat without feeling judged.

Yours sincerely,

the mother with the screaming, over tired and not always having the vocabulary to express himself three year old.

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