Things to do when you are having a bad day.

Hey readers,

From time to time we all have bad days and that is ok. I have compiled some ways to help you when you are having a bad day. These tips are been successful for may so it is not just empty words.

Breathing exercises.

A way to help destress is to try out the breathing exercises and making sure you use deep breathes and use your lungs properly. Doing this exercises helps slow down you breathing and can be really therapeutic to just stop and focus on your breathing. Youtube is a brilliant source of visual aids to run through the step-to-step guide to do deep breathing.

Meditation.

Meditation is so useful to help calm you down, give you something to think about other than the negative feelings that you hold. It helps distract you and give you something to focus on that can help make you feel calmer and relaxed.

Hot bath

There is something about having a hot bath that really calms me down. I feel my muscles after been tense all day to soak them in hot water really beneficial. I just love after feeling really relaxed and putting on really soft PJs helps me chill out

Watch a film.

A brilliant way to escape is with a film and getting a nice throw to settle down. It is a great way to switch off because often I am feeling exhausted after a bad so relaxing with a film is a great way to unwind.

Unplug.

The internet is addictive, it has its positives with having a wealth of information, interactions and entertainment. The downfall is it can lead to obsessions or transfixion and makes you feel rubbish. This is not great when you already feeling pants. I find just turning my phone off for an hour or two really helps me just switch off and allows me that time to think by myself.

Feel it.

Sometimes, when you are feeling bad instead of running away from the emotions, it is just good to be mindful even though it can be challenging. It is ok to have them negatives feelings, it is ok to cry and be angry. It is much better to have it there rather than trying to block it out or go into denial. Feeling them emotions is more practical and it may take less time to have to own them. When you explore them emotions it allows you to understand and accept what is happening to you.

Blame game.

I know it is so easy to find anyone other than yourself to pass the blame on to and ok sometimes it may be another person’s fault. But that doesn’t mean that we have to hold on to that anger, it just causes negativity and by letting it go gives back that freedom to move forward.

What things do you do to help when having a bad day?

Cheers for reading X

Peaceful

Hey readers

This week my word of the week is

as I haven’t done a lot but it is just wan I needed for me to rest as I was totally exhausted mentally and physically. I have been to the park, scooting and checking out museums close by home. It has been pleasant and I have just rested which I believe has helped my soul. I think I just needed time to shut down. I have to take it slow, which I have been doing with pottered about, reading and just generally taking it easy.

Also, the boys have been kept busy with accessing free swimming lessons (they also have their normal ones) so that is one of knackering them out, #mumhack.

My eldest has also gone to the occupational therapist to help with hand control. We have had issues as he is left-handed but won’t write with his left hand. This is because he believes that because I am autistic and left-handed that will mean he will be the same. I try to tell him that really doesn’t matter what hand you write with there will always be autistics who either write in their left or right hand. It has been a struggle so hope these sessions will help.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Change

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

First of to kick start the summer hols on day son decides to run in the kitchen with the tablet and accidently drop it on the floor. Restyling in leaving a wonderful massive crack on the tablet, excellent stuff.

We decided to try out the camping for one night this week and sadly I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t cope with the whole situation due to my autism. SO now I feel pretty crappy about myself about the whole situation that I am not good parent again because I cannot do what normal people do. I had a meltdown because of all the stresses and I worry that my husband thinks I’m a right diva but I’m not I just can’t cope with the situation. I am useless with change and dealing with new environments especially when it involves waiting around. It just a big massive trigger for me.

Cheers for reading X

How do I find a therapist near me

Hey readers,

If you have read my blog before then you will know that I have suffered from mental health problems for a large portion of my life and have had several different types of therapists in my time.

If you are in need of a therapist to explore ways of managing your mental health issues or just talking to someone where do you look for one?

Finding a therpist1

Well first of you could ask your GP for a referral for some kind of talking therapy. However, in this day age, it can be a long waiting period depending on the severity of your mental health problems sadly. In the past, I have waited for two years to seek help and during the time my mental health has deteriorated.

There are community mental health nurses who can see you are a regular basis and can deal with a more practical side of things such helping with benefits, accessing services, housing etc. CPNs are primarily there to provide support for people with mental health problems adjust to living life in the community. You will need a referral from your GP to access a CPN. Alternatively, there is a service called IAPTS (improving access to psychological therapies) run by the NHS and they can provide CBT for mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Normally you can also self-refer. However, this service is not available everywhere so you will have to check that it is available in your area.

If you can afford seeking private then the world is your oyster quite frankly. One place that you may want to look at this article Betterhelp that is a clear and concise in-depth information on where to go to find a therapist.

When thinking about seeking a therapist you have to understand that there are several different types of therapy and some conditions respond better to the type of therapy that is offered.

So, for instance, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) deals with current issues and doesn’t look at the past or childhood. Its main focus is problems that are present now and working with thoughts and behaviors to change the way you’re responding to the situation, This is great for anxiety, OCD, eating disorders for example. It is about changing one behavior for a positive behavior and it is short term. Normally courses last six to twelve weeks and it is a very practical way of seeing fast results.

However, if you have experienced trauma such as rape, abuse then I think therapy that is more exploring feelings and talking openly to someone in a confidential setting may be more suited because not about changing opening up and allowing them emotions to come to the surface.

Therapists can also be online and you can use Skye which is a modern practical way of communicating and seeking therapy. Depending on what you are looking for this option allows you to have more choice in the variety available rather than just having what is available within the area that you live in.

Also, if you are searching for a therapist in the private sector make sure that they have the right established qualifications to work with people who have mental health conditions. They need to have the right accreditation to work in mental health and giving therapy. Each type of therapy has a set of qualifications that a therapist needs, this is to show that the therapist has had the correct training to carry out the therapy on people.  It is good practice for therapists to be signed up with The British Psychological Society  and this allows you the general public can go to the BPS and ask what qualifications the therapist has and the training that they have undertaken.

Hope you find this information useful.

Thank you for reading.

This is a sponsored post for Betterhelp. However, all opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

With or without anxiety

Hey readers,

I am struggling with my anxiety at the moment. One moment I feel like I am doing alright with life and then the next thing bang the darkness appears. I swear at times anxiety hates me, it is on 24-hour alert to catch me, especially when I am most venerable. It hates the fact that I am doing OK and hates to see me managing and getting on with life. My brain needs anxiety I feel, I can’t relax and that is the biggest downfall. As I have experienced anxiety for so long where it is not there I worry about worrying if you know what I mean.

Multicolored Smoke

I have this inability to relax. I like the adrenaline at times, feeling alert and it almost feels like a way to clarify that I am alive and living. I have had anxiety for most of my life that when I am not having anxiety I think it is my problem adapting to change. It feels weird to not have the anxiety around.

I am learning to try and let go, allow that anxiety to come and to try not to shy away from it. it is what it is, fear brings it on and that’s not healthy either. I think being present at the moment with the anxiety is one of my biggest challenges. I can’t believe how hard it is to just be and face the anxiety head-on. I am on alert, my body is tight, my muscles and mind hurt. Every night I have a splitting headache due to fighting this anxiety.
It feels like I am doing a mental workout, it is exhausting but with being anxiety warrior you can’t deny resilience is there. Good or bad resilience it is in me and I keep on fighting when at times I just want to hide under a fort, but sadly I need to get up and go, with or without anxiety.

However, that being said I have spent years trying to get rid of this anxiety. Now, I am trying a new approach where I allow it to come, greet it with open arms. I don’t want to be scared of anxiety anymore. I have autism as well and anxiety is a common trait for a lot of people on the spectrum including me. So, instead of trying to change it, I am going to acknowledge the anxiety. Sometimes the anxiety can be good, it might make me think twice about what I am doing. it may be anxiety cause let’s face it not all anxiety is bad. I think media portray it with negative connotations but you can use to your advantage.

The main line of this anxiety post is that I am trying to learn to live with the anxiety, accept it for what it is. don’t put everything I have one then anxiety and know that it is the only sort of me. it doesn’t define me and that actually in control of my life.

Cheers for reading X

Ways to find anxiety relief

Hey readers.

If you are a regular you will know that I suffer from anxiety and depression for a number of years. I have explored many ways to help reduce the mental distress that these conditions cause me. I thought I would share some of the successful ways that have helped reduce my anxiety.

Trees in Forest

Laugh – such a fun and easy way to make you feel good. I love a good stand up DVD or someone funny that does Youtube really puts me in good spirits.

Have a bath – it can help you relax and soothe your pains away. If you are like me then with my anxiety I tense my body, so much so at the end of the day my muscles are aching. I love a hot bath and something soothing in it to help relax me. It is perfect to help with getting a good night sleep.

Sleep – sometimes life can get too much with all the worry that anxiety brings. I just take myself to bed early, close the curtains and just put some relaxing music on to help make me drift away. I feel so much better in the morning because I have allowed myself switch off and just relax.

Talk to someone – it doesn’t have to be someone you know could be a helpline or talking anonymously to someone on a forum. It is a massive relief just getting things off your chest even if you find no solution.

If in doubt at all go to your doctors and seek professional help. Don’t be ashamed as you are not alone, many people suffer from mental health issues.

Sometimes, I don’t always have the vocal skills to express what is on my mind so a good way that has helped me is to write down is on my mind. I feel that once it is down it stops getting messy in my mind. It is more concrete and lot easier to understand.

A brilliant anxiety technique to do is try deep breathes. At first, it feels funny but the more you practice the more it will feel natural to you. It is brilliant for getting more air into your lungs and using them to your full compacity rather than just doing quick and fast rapid breathing. Breathing more oxygen exchange meaning release of the hormone cortisol which helps with destresses. There are plenty of videos of guided how to videos o it on youtube.

Sometimes we can feel that whatever we are thinking must be true, but reminding ourselves that actually, not all feelings are facts. They can be illogical, biased and deseving. We chose what we want to believe in, there are so many thoughts that we produce but we get stuck on all the negatives one that we let slide the other side of the argument.

Finally, one that I do regularly as I find it so beneficial but it is the most difficult and that is a change of scenery. It can be so easy to just stay indoors when it feels safe,

Cheers for reading X