Ways to deal with anger

Hey readers,

Life can be tough and make you feel angry and lash out. I have written a post about ways to use that angry in a constructive manner so that people don’t get hurt but you can deal with the angry positively.

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Do something to use up the rage, maybe go for a run, rip paper or like me clean kitchen floor and get that frustration out of your system. I always better after cleaning up and I have the added bonus of a tidy kitchen, whoop!

I know this can be hard but if you are in a situation that is causing that angry it is better to hold your tongue and walk away in the long term, We all have said things in the heat of the moment and when you are angry you can’t think straight. That is why it is better to walk away and postpone what you want to say at a later date when you are thinking rational and calm.

Speak to someone can help if it is anger that is a long-term problem. I problem shared is a problem halved, especially if is someone that you can trust and may be able to offer some answers to your problems. However, sometimes or we want is to vent and that is ok too because it is better to let it out then keep it bubbling away inside.

Find a solution – maybe not instantly but read on the internet or ask someone for advice can help.

When I am angry I am just not in the mood for anything. I simply need to do is go to bed and sleep before making a big decision. I feel much calmer after having a rest and it gives me a better to change think clearer.

Sometimes, I can not always express myself verbally so I grab a pen and pad and Write it down. It feels after fantastic because it is much clearer to see the problem rather than going over and over things in my head.

you know what I love a good cry and that is all need to have the moment to break down in my room and get it out of my system, I feel tons better and I love calming feeling after.

Hope this helps,

Thank you for reading X

Silly things my mind has told me

Hey readers,

I have anxiety and depression and one of the problems with these conditions is that I suffer from intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are frightening, they are exhausting (for me) they feel and they make me very anxious. They feel real and can potentially turn into a cycle where the thoughts can come quickly. They may be thoughts that are fear induced or down to lack of control., Control is a big trigger for me and my anxiety.

So, now I am going to share with you some of the kind of silly things my brain tries to tell me and trick me into believing.

  • Husband is going to call social services because I have the TV on therefore I am not a good parent.
  • such and such a teacher is watching my every move I make, see if I am capable. They are taking notes and discussing me in a negative light with their colleagues. They are taking the piss out of me because I stutter, I am shaking and crying. They are watching me and judging me because I am fat, I can’t engage. They think I am not a good parent and I shouldn’t look after my kids.
  • My husband is going to die, he is out and won’t come back. He hates me and blames me for everything.
  • My husband when out shopping with the boys, I get fearful especially for long periods that they have died in the car. I am petrified and shaking. I am having very dark imagery thoughts about how the bodies are dismantled in the car, the process of imagining them dying in the car.
  • A parent in the playground is looking at me, talking about how ugly I am. How rubbish parent I am. How socially awkward I am. How retarded my children are.

The examples I have given are just a handful of examples, that have happened in the last couple of days. I wanted to share how horrible the thoughts can be and they are so scary. People assume anxiety is something a bit mandy pandy but it is a struggle. It is a battle every day for me. Sometimes I have better days, sometimes I have worse days. But the anxiety is always there ready and waiting.

Cheers for reading X

Hair pulling and autism

Hey readers,

One of my problems due to my depression and autism is that I can pull my hair out. I link it to sensory purposes as sometimes I am so numb that I want to feel something or hurt myself. I have been knowing to pull and yank my hair when I am very distressed. I have ripped out clumps of hair when I am going through a meltdown or when I am really angry because I don’t always have the communication skills to express myself. Sometimes, I feel that I need to punish myself because I am not a good parent. I hate myself and worry that I am royally screwing up my children because I have a disability and can not always give the opportunities that other parents can give to their children.

I know it is not the ‘normal’ way to self-harm that has been popularised over the years. I get so frustrated and hurt myself due to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy due to my autism.  I know this is a sad state of affairs but it is true.

I have always struggled with my autism probably because of past responses of parent/carer when I was younger of not being good enough or the adult of my care being in denial and rejecting my diagnosis. Even to this day I still battle with the thoughts frequently.

I have discussed in a vlog before about skin picking but I haven’t mentioned hair pulling because I was in a bit of denial. I feel through the autism community is good online in accepting and promoting praise for the disability. I feel that if you were to pipe up and say actually sometimes I don’t like being autistic, that you might get abuse and people won’t like you. I guess I am not yet that strong to always speak out and be honest about how I am feeling. I think it is something with time and with my confidence in blogging writing it will come out.

Maybe one day I may get so bad that I need to look at treatment to sort out my hair. One way could be a hair transplant. look into hair transplant cost

Cheers for reading X

The power of sleep

Hey readers,

I love to sleep and I can not lie. I think sometimes especially as parents sleep can go on the back burner or not taken seriously. As a person who suffers from mental health problems I fully am aware of the importance of sleep. There are so many good reasons why getting forty winks is really important and can have an impact mentally and physically for your wellbeing.

sleep reduces stress, it allows you to have a break, a rest and time for your body to naturally heal after a long day.

When sleeping the immune system is activated and helps to give the body the healing process, that is why it is so beneficial to sleep when you a cold or flu.

Sleep is the best meditation ~ Dalai Lama

Sleep can help you feel refreshed and rejuvenated allowing you to feel creative and the energy to face the day ahead.

Sleep helps us feel better and less irritable. We are more patient and less likely to ‘loss it’ because we have more energy to think things through. We are much calmer because we have more free space to think as we have the energy to do so, making us more patient and allowing to take time to think logically.

Sleep helps us regulate positive and negative emotions and sleep helps us less likely to respond to emotional stimuli giving us time to enjoy the day.

Having a good night sleep improves memory and performance which ultimately gives us more free time if we do things quicker. Therefore getting more out of the day.

Sleep has many benefits to your physical help with reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes, your immune system function and helping keep your heart healthy because it gives the body time to process correctly.

Cheers for reading X

 

Techniques to help reduce anxiety in autism.

Hey readers,

I have autism and what accompanies that is anxiety. I don’t think you can permanently get rid of it, sadly it interlinks with the condition. That being said you can help reduce the anxiety with finding ways that can help minimise the anxiety.

One of the things that I really struggle with my anxiety is really badly shaking especially with my hands, they literally cannot stop moving, it is normally triggered in social situations and it is hard to hold a cup – and yes I have dropped a fair few in my time.

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Therefore, I have spent many a time working ways to reduce shaking hands because it really annoys me because it is just so frustrating and embarrassing for me.

The first technique to help reduce shaky hands is to focus on my breathing, keeping my attention on the basic principles with breathing in and out. Making sure I am aware of my lungs up and down and making sure that all the thoughts are put aside, even if it is just constantly reminding myself focus on the breathing. At first, it is really hard because it is training your brain to think different but keeps at it and it will get easier with practice and time. However, it is a great tool as it gives you time to slow down with your thoughts and think about breathing. This in turns slows down the fight or flight response.

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If it involves waiting around having some distraction techniques weather be writing poetry or colouring helps stop me from thinking about the anxiety and feeding into it.

Reducing caffeine can help, as caffeine is a stimulant and can cause an increase in an anxiety and heart racing.

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Hand stretching has helped with trying to reduce the amount of adrenaline in my hand. Stretching out the fingers and pushing all my energy out. I focus on each finger at a time and notice the reactions that are occurring when doing it. This exercise can help once again in slowing down the anxiety and focusing on something other than the intrusive thoughts.

Is there anything that has helped you with anxiety, I would love to hear your thoughts?

Cheers for reading X