It’s a Bing thing!

Hey readers,

Today I bring you my thoughts when watching Bing, because basically I have watched an episode today and I have had enough, I need my place to vent my frustrations, so here goes.

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Why is Bing always having a strop off? Seriously he is such a moany little sod, all the time. He must give his carer/parent a headache.

I think Bing needs to learn the art of No. He is such a little brat, so selfish every single time. If there is one crucial lesson that Bing needs to learn then it is to stop being so self-centred and share.

I think Flop is too soft and he should just quit being all nicey and following him around all day. I mean come on no parent surely has that much patience all day long with wingy Bingy. What message is that saying anyway to a child that if you moan you will get away with it? The thing is Bing needs some discipline. The first port of call would be to quit calling it a Bing thing, more Flop thing and if you don’t like it you know where you can stick it!

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I think Flop has some insecurities with the amount of 1-2-1 time, does he ever give Bing any space.

Why does Flop always say, ‘Aieechee!’ when Bing sneezes, what is that all about? Seems a bit odd to me.

What relationship is Flop anyway towards Bing,  is he a carer a parent and if he is a parent then pretty random considering flop is not any kind of animal, more sack like?

Why does every programme have to revolve around some moral. I believe that the best cartons are just fun, I can’t cope with any more American spin off programmes.  I wish Bing would have a change the format, it is so boring that I can predict what happens.

Why does Pando have a nappy on and no trousers on, surely this is not right, come on woman sort yourself out. You can not be like that 24/7.

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Cheers for reading X

Pink Pear Bear
Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
The Pramshed
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Observations of what happens in a heatwave 

Hey readers,

 Have you noticed that it is a tat on the hot side, yep, me too and I am terribly British in which I love a good moan about the weather. So let’s look at my accurate portray of what it is like to experience going through a heatwave.

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You know you are going through a heatwave when every sentence, every hour of the day is announcing to anyone who is listening, ‘It’s hot’.  Because no one obviously has noticed that big  yellow ball in the sky.

You go bat shit crazy in the supermarket for multi packs of ice lollies like your life depends on it.

You love your fan like a family member.

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Never has a cold shower felt so good until your child decides to walk in on you and declare you have a hole.

You get beyond frustrated at stupid questions asked by children about who is the smelliest when really all that matters right now is trying to concentrate on cramming as may ice cubes as possible into your cup.

You worry your bladder may explode because you have drank your weight in cold drinks in just one day.

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Your pillow has never felt so pumped then during this heatwave with constantly turning over the pillow at night.

You suddenly become a raging manic woman over the tiniest of things  because you fuse has finally blown and throwing wet pants on mummy’s head tips her right over that edge.

The dreaded bedtime you have to do. The ultimate question, should or should you not open the windows? Where the bedroom is like a fucking sauna and outside is just noise from people constantly revving and horn beeping timed just around the bed time hour. Don’t they know these people outside having fun at bedtime hour makes this mama very, very angry.

You pine for autumn so hard, please bring it back, because I don’t know if I can cope with any more under boob sweat.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

National picnic week 

Hey readers,

Apparently I have been told that this week is national picnic week so let’s celebrate this appreciate for all things picnicy!

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Firstly, as a parent picnic’s are a blessing because it means less tiding up for you as you leave the crumbs and check the paper plates in the bin, result!

You can pretend to be all fancy with your paper plates and napkins, there is a sense of sophistication (even if it is paper).

It is a great way to get out of mummy prison and less time having to focus on what the hell you going to do to entertain your child.

Any excuse for some ice-cream – let’s make this a number one priority when having a picnic.

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Picnic food can be finger food, which is my kinda food. It is lovely a spread out where you can take as you please, there is a sense of family and togetherness. You can bond and talk about life *cue sick bucket*.

Nothing says summer like eating out Al fresco in the open.

When your young it feels like an adventure and it is free in the fact that when it is winter and miserable you end up in soft play hell and a hole in your wallet.

It is good to have a change of scenery and doing something different. Parenting can become tedious doing the same thing day in, day out so it gives us parents a change to keep hold of your sanity.

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Eating outside when the sun is shining is a quick way to top up on some Vitamin D, which has some health benefits with helping  your mind feel good.

Technically if the child/ren are outside they are running around during that energy off which means that they should sleep better, *fist pumps*.

Cheers for reading X

 

Hot Pink Wellingtons
PoCoLo

Messy play, ugh!

Hey readers,

SO the other day I thought I know what would be fun and creative on Sunday morning, pre-9am getting the paints out to some messy play. I know what you are thinking already, I am absolutely insane because it appears that I have some sort of long term memory with forgetting all about the crappy attempts last time and all the stress it caused.

But as per usual ‘mummy expectations’ put on myself through reading too much ideologies through social media, this sodding technological world we live in. I respect the fact that no one ever put a gun against my head, it is just having low self confidence in anything and parenting I worry about everything. I do I am not going lie, I don’t need pity it just a fact of life.

But must remind myself any time I think it is a good idea to go solo with a three year with paints, just step away. Seriously, I appreciate art but I don’t really rate a Pollock style rug, nor walls, nor table, nor sofa, nor bath, basically any fucking where the child decides to put the paint.

I am nervous wreck anyway because I am lucky enough to have a disposition to anxiety type A  personality shall we say.

Why, is it so important to paint, it consists of the child painting a grand total of five minutes whilst muggings here spends a good old forty minutes to clean up. I spend more time doing the work then the actually child, surely that is not right.

I be honest I am not very good with mess, and disorder with no logic to it. I REALLY, REALLY should leave this type of activity to the professionals AKA the nursery . He has a good three hours, five times a week to lose his shit with the paint then all I need to do is bath him in the brown mess every single day and constantly add to the pile of washing.  I am down with that, they can guide him to be a outstanding artist, nursery staff are trained and expert in this field, hence why they have so many teacher training day to deal with such skills.

So, the moral of the story  is don’t ever let your child lose with paint until they are at an age where they can clean up after themselves. I shall just embrace painting Mr Tumble’s bow tie on the Cbeebies app and leave the important stuff to the professionals!

Cheers for reading X

Life Love and Dirty Dishes

Let's Be Friends

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

diaryofanimperfectmum

The pains of a Sweaty Betty

Hey readers,

Today we have had humid weather, which being honest with you makes me ill just thinking about the humidity. The only time that I would the sun to be shining so hot is when I am by a pool in the shade with coupons amounts of drink or ice-cream.

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I dread it when I see the warm weather flow across the map of the weather person on the news. I cannot stand being a sticky mess. It amazes me to see people in coats in this humid and sticky weather, I want to know how they keep so cool because for me I am just purely a  sweaty betty. My makeup is all running down my face, my t-shirt is sticking to my neck and if you think it can get any worse then there is ultimate hell for the fat girl, chub rub. Basically where you sweat so much between your thighs that they rub from the fiction and it is hell let me tell you that.

When you’re out and about there appears to be that stench wafting at your nostrils, you know the one, where people sweat so much they stink of it and forget to wash. You can’t run away on public transport so you have to stick to the seat and try not to breathe the whole five minutes journey home.

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I just hate feeling hot, I literally cannot do anything and feel sick because it is so dame hot. If the whole sweating and feeling ill is not enough then let’s just bring up hay fever. It is the pits and agony, my sinuses are working overtime, I am sneezing every five seconds and my eyes kill from the itchiness.

Let’s move on to a different aspect of hot weather and that is them annoying sun worshippers on Facebook bragging about how lovely it is with these temperatures, I mean are you for real? The only place I want to be is lying on the cold bathroom floor.

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If you think you can escape it at night, your wrong my friends. At night it is a wrestle with the bed to find the cold spot, therefore spending a majority of the night tossing and turning then having to deal with the lack of sleep.

In the end it results in you wishing on the times when you felt more comfortable, colder and cosier. All I am saying is I miss you Autumn *sniff*!

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs


My Random Musings
3 Little Buttons

Funny memes to get you through the day

Hey readers,

I let you into a little secret… I love a good meme, whether I am in a bored mood, where I need something to do kill some time. What I also like about meme’s is a majority of the humour is based on situations that I can relate to anyways, which makes it even more funnier I feel.

Alternatively, if I am feeling blue laughter is a way to take my mind of my pain going through my mind. So, I have picked some corkers to share with you and I hope they make smile or even better laugh out loud.

 

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Cheers for reading X

How to tell if you are a hipster

Hey readers,

Today I saw a colouring in book in Poundland and it all based on this term Hipster. I have heard this termnology quite a few times over the past couple of years, so I thought I would come up with some key chartersitics in what makes a hipster. 

I just thought I would start of with the definition of what a Hipster is: It is someone who follows the trends/fashion that is outside the cultural mainstream.

Please note it is just a bit fun, nothing serious.

1) Firstly, I think one of the main identify features is the beard, not the dirty biker type but you know the clean and grommed variety. It is looks pristine and full of beard oil.

2) They hate anything associated with mainstream, for instance they love films that are underground and unheard of.

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3) To be a true hipster they don’t like any well named bands such as Beyonce but go for the more unusal tastes. They love bands such as Death Cab for Cutie or Radiohead or Archaide of Fire.

4) They hang out in artys fartsy coffee shops and post their arty coffee on Instagram. Or unusal places that no other person has heard avout.

hipster-cafe
A lovely little cereal cafe for hipsters

5) They are likely to be riding a bicycle as a mode of transport and look down on people who drive a car.

6) Old technology is popular for the hipster and when they are walking about outside they flash the old walkman.

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6) Massive fan of ‘vintage’ and get all there clobber from flea markets or raided from there parents and grandparents wardrope.

7) They wear spectcles not because of poor vision but for a fashion statement.

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8) Tend to be a vegan and more then likely have a speicfic instagrem account for all their foodie pictures which happen to be taken from there old style camera such as a Fuji X.

9) A hipster is found to have on their YouTube channel videos full of live music.

10) They wear lumbar jackets, skinny jeans and converse…you know what am talking about, this is a common uniform for a hipster.

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Cheers for reading X