I hate camping

Hey readers,

As the title of this blog post suggests I HATE CAMPING! I had the recent experience of camping again and finally, that will be the last ever camp again. I detest it for so many reasons but one it takes so long to put up the tent, We had an 8 person tent so took roughly 2-3 hours and with young children around that is not what I deem as fun.

I Hate Camping

Even before setting up a camp it is bloody hard work with spending a ton on all the things you need like bottles of gas, food and all the other equipment. Then you have to try and squeeze it all in your blinking car.

Getting back to the tend its self there is the fact you don’t get a good night sleep. You end up having your children with you. They constantly moving about and if that weren’t bad enough they stick their feet in your face.

Then there is the sleeping bag and literally, have to sip up and jump up and down to get in a comfy position. If that is not bad late at night you have to decide do you want to get out of your warm cocoon or do you want a wee. The choices are hard! if you do opt for the toilet you then decide is it worth walking up half a mile to the communal toilets or shall I take a leak next to the tent in the freezing cold. The latter brings the risk of the change of someone seeing your bare ass. Finally, after you have dealt with that trauma you have to zip back up again and jump up and down. Changes are you wake up your little darlings doing this and then guess what they need a pee. *sigh*.

Another point regarding the sleeping situation is the fact that the ground is bumpy and you feel dirty all the time.  It doesn’t matter if you have used a shower, you never clean and you walk back from the nice warm water to a dirty and muddy tent.

The next morning you wake at the crack of Dawn because the light brightens up all the room and the little darlings think it is fun to jump around the tent. Whilst this is all happening you are cursing and getting more and more homesick and you don’t even care about the prospect of washing at this point.

Especially in the summer if you dare leave the tend door unzipped then you risk a gang of flies to enter. You are constantly bitten by all the bugs and it leaves you with months of marks all on your leg. I still have them marks after a year of previous camping have and it resembles someone who is a crackhead.

After two days of staying in a tend you have grass everywhere and appears in your food somehow. My god the food taste rank and it such a ball ache to still on the ground and fiddle about preparing food on a camping stove. It is lukewarm and depressing especially when it is p*ssing it down.

As time progresses you sleep deteriorates as so does your mood and you finally glad when the day comes when it is time to go home. Only to be greeted with the perspective of trying to put down the tent and making sure it all fits tightly together in its holders. Which incidentally never does on the first go, try the fifth in which your hot mess and in a bad mood. But that is fine because you then can rest on the drive home with two tired and ratty children. But the time we eventually come when you get home and you have the pleasure of dealing with the endless pile of stinky, muddy washing.

Everything with tending just feels like a chore. It doesn’t feel like a holiday and yes you save money but personally, I would prefer to be in bed at home in the warmth eating hot food.

Cheers for reading X

 

10 Instagram cliches

Hey readers,

Ever wondered if you are hip enough for the old Instagram world? well, I am going to explore Insta cliches that are typically found with the pro-Instagrammer trying to keep it cool with the gang. Why am I doing this you ask? because it is Sunday night and there is sod all on the telly.  So, what better way to kill a bit of time then do a tongue in cheek post all about the social media platform that is INSTAGRAM!

I will at this point of the post confess that I am guilty of doing a few, it is addictive to get sucked into all the fake perfection la de da over on Instagram. However, I much prefer taking pictures of trees (I mean an unhealthy obsession) and if you ever what to check out my Instagram my account is @mummyhereandthere *shameless plugging, haha*.

1) Are you insta cool if you haven’t got yourself a mug with the initial of your name on. 

2) On yes to be a instamum or instadad you got to head over to the field of lavender (during springtime) or during the summer a glorious shot of your child being ‘free range’ in a field full of rapeseed. Of course what you don’t see is the parent all flustered taking a hundred odd photos of trying to capture that perfection so you can post on Instagram. No one Instagram can see you sweating profusely and swearing under your breathe. Of course, I have never done this and don’t know what I am talking about ;).Image result for lavender field kids

3) A snap of a Starbucks/Costa cup in your hand particularly during festive times and you even go out of your way to buy a drink just to show the pretty design of a cup.

There are 12 paper red cup designs and one for a Frappuccino cup, which all have been submitted by customers, for the 2016 batch of Starbucks red cups. The cups released in shops today all over the world

4) This next observation normally happens during times of a new realise of the most wanted gadget such as the iPhone 5000. Of course, you need to gloat your weather to strangers and make sure you have the right amount of shots so you get to see every angle of the phone. Must not forget to include box is so crucial.

5) It is autumn time and what better way to let the people on Instagram know by showing you walk through fallen leaves of course.

6) A classic Instagram selfie would be to stand in front of a long mirror showing you holding your phone in one arm. If you’ve got it flaunt it, baby!

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7) A cup of coffee in bed with the caption, ‘morning’ in a perfect pose to pretend that you have just woken up and made a drink when really there is more involved to just pouring the water.

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8) The perfect working picture that you have it sorted and nailed this adulting business down to a T! That picture would be of course a coffee cup, pad/pen, and laptop.

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9) Picture of the bloody floor tiles and can I just say I myself tried to do arty shots but so shite at it.

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10) Inspiration quotes that make you feel really inspired whilst your sitting in your tea stained PJs whilst watching some rubbish on telly.

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Cheers for reading X

Gummy bear show, but why oh why?!

Hey readers,

if you have small children then you have been sure to be have had the privilege of having to hear the gummy bear song. If you haven’t heard of it then I beg you do not Google it or else you will never erase that memory from your mind.

gummy bear

well, my youngest absolutely loves the gummy bear song, it is dame awful. It involves the popular American sweet a gummy bear, bright green bear singing a dreadful song called I’m a gummy bear, yes I am a gummy bear.

Now if that is not bad enough, the producers go further and milk it for all its worth and have only gone and done a blinking show, called the Gummibar and friends. It is wrong and traumatic to have to sit and listen to it .

It is full of nasally singing, bright colours in the show and al the way through it is none stop singing. I need to wear glasses to watch it. The story is so silly and I quite like to punch the gummy bear in the face truth be told.

I just hate it, it is a crap storyline and clearly milking it for all it’s worth. Ok fair enough you have to earn the doh but you killing me slowly with getting my son hooked on it and that is all he ever wants to watch now. FML!

I just want to point out that Gummy bear really needs to invest in some bigger pants as every shot when he is wiggling his butt I see his crack, it is not attractive and he is constantly dancing or singing, which is so painful to my poor little ears and eyes.

One final thought, the song is attractive and a total earworm, whether I want it going round and round it appears I am these days permanently singing it.

Rant OVER!!!

Cheers for reading X

27 things you take for granted before you became a mum

Hey readers,

Sometimes as a mum, you don’t get much reward (I am not complaining because this is the life I wanted).However, you never really appreciate your life before you have children until you have children.

Girl in flight

Here is a list of some of the kind of things you took for granted before you became a mummy.

1) A lie in.

2) Going shopping by yourself.

3) Being spontaneous.

4) Only responsible for yourself.

5) Not having to read the same book over and over again.

6) Quietness.

7) Pee in peace.

8) Not having to share anything, haha.

9) Having an adult conversation.

10) You never knew what Peppa Pig was.

11) Having a conversation.

12) Not having to read yourself.

13) Hot drink.

14) Not having your clothes smeared in snot.

15) A Good night sleep.

16) Being ill and not doing anything.

17) Reading a book.

18) Having a tidy home.

19) Peace of mind.

20) Running errands without every five minutes having a small human ask are we going home yet.

21) Having a shower.

22) Not being late.

23) Having nice furniture.

24) Personal space.

25) Time.

26) Energy.

27) eating in a restaurant.

Cheers for reading X

23 signs your an adult

Hey readers,

Do you ever wonder whether you are a fully fledged adult, well check my list of 23 signs you are an adult to see?

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1) You pay your bills.

2) You learn that being an adult isn’t all that cracked up to be.

3) You know how to manage money.

4) You save up for different things.

5) You learn how to tightly manage your money at the end of the month.

6) you daydream about the times when you were young and carefree with no responsibilities.

7) You don’t give a s**t what is on the chart.

8) You haven’t the foggiest who is number one.

9) You listen to podcasts.

10) You have a backache.

11) You don’t mind having nothing to do, in fact, it is something you enjoy.

12) You go to bed at a reasonable time.

13) You have to google new trend terms.

14) You can successfully do the laundry all by yourself.

15) You stand up for what you believe in.

16) You can’t be arsed to do all-nighters anymore.

17) You love your bed, at times even fantasy about it during the day.

18) You don’t care really what is cool anymore.

19) You enjoy choosing things whether music, fashion, movies etc just because bloody like them and sod anyone else who doesn’t.

20) Your life didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to but that is ok because you learn life is actually not linear but dame right messy.

21) You enjoy the mornings because you get stuff done. Note when I say mornings I mean 4AM with no kids about, haha.

22) You accept feedback without wanting to rip someones head off dare they think differently.

23) You learn to express yourself clearly.

Cheers for reading X

An open letter to my TV

Dear TV,

I am writing this open letter to you to tell you how I am forever grateful to you. You are the backbone of our home, no joke of a lie. I don’t think I needed anyone quite like you in my life especially now that I am a mother.

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You are central to our family, I class you as a helping hand and when I am in need you are always around to be available in my hour of need and kept me calm before I lose my rag.

Image result for i love tv

TV you’re so important because without you we would feel lost, you allow me to have that break to do things without the need to think how I am going to entertain children. I can get s**t done such as doing my cleaning like the washing or do the vacuuming without interruption from the kids. This may seem like a bad thing for a parent to do but you know what things need to be done or else the social services will come knocking on our door asking me why my home such a pigsty.

Not only do you help me in my hour of need but you bring us together as a family when we watching movies when it’s cold outside and we’re cuddling on the sofa mentioning popcorn. It is the small things that count and he’s will probably be kept as happy memories of what my boys did when they were younger.

Image result for quotes about telly

TV You are providing me with entertainment, a fair few belly laughs. you’ve been a source of education to help me to understand, kept me entertained with thrillers and update on what is happening in the news.

Therefore, from the bottom of my heart, I love you my little 42-inch tv you will always have a spot in the middle of my living room.

Cheers for reading  x

Day 2 #Blogtober17 – Babies 

Hey readers,

We are now in day 2 of #Blogtober17 and today’s prompt is babies.
Now, not to sure what I am going to write about. I don’t have babies any more but young children l, so let’s reflect on them beautiful times. One of my particularly favourite baby topic poo. I give you a poem on baby poo. But one final thought before you go, who knew baby poo was black or green (one of the first thoughts when having first born).

poo poem.png

Cheers for reading X