In this day and age it is hard not to compare yourself. I for one am guilty of this, it is so easy to assume that one has it all whilst you feel like you are floating above water.
We can forget that what you see with your eyes on the surface may not be the actually truth. How can possible know everything about someone when we only see a glimpse.
That is why it is important to look for content within and not on unrealistic ideas that assume make other happy.
Sometimes you can fall under the trap of negativity, where all you see is the bad stuff. That is why it is important to take stock of what is good in life. No one has it all but I am a true believer in that there is one good thing in life even if it is small.
Today I felt sad as if my life is going anyway. I could continue down the negative spiral but won’t get me anywhere, it will just make me feel ten times worse.
The things I have succeeded in is getting up and making sure my children are well and happy. I have read a book and even writing this post is productive.
I think it is important to accept the things you do have and not dwell. Being content with yourself so a hard thing to achieve when there are so many messages everywhere telling us to be like this or that. You feel like you are questioning everything.
I think the main that I have learnt in my adult life is meaning and the value you put on something. I think that is the powerful thing. If you let go of connecting to something you would be amazed at how little impact it has on you.
I think the thing that is key in being content is questioning everything and working out what it means to you. Deep down is it really important to you?
Cheers for reading X
Today I woke up elevated with thoughts of all sorts of possibilities and within ten minutes everything got shot down again. You see depression for me anyway is not where you sit in corner and cry 24/7 – though there have been times when I have done that. But I feel depression is not simply the black cloud that hangs above but it is all sorts of emotions that I experience during the day.
This may seem an odd thing to say but there are glimpses of happiness that can last 30 seconds to five minutes and I have even been know to laugh. You would think nothing was wrong with me, but you will be fooled.
Then my brain reminds me of how shit my life is and how I mess up everything, and majority of the time it can be rooted to my autism. I don’t care what people’s views are living with autism is no walk in the park and it is hard to deal with. Sometimes, I just want to have a break from myself and then just stop the work. It is exhausting and emotionally draining, which affects my mood deeply.
The next feeling could be agitation and just general hopelessness of being stuck in a situation that I have no control over.
Anger comes along when I have to listen to the next person who tells me that it is mind over matter and that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it. Don’t let the autism get the way they chant, but basically everyone can fuck I want to be dead. For that one second sometimes you think the world would be better if I simply didn’t exist then having to deal with the nonsense circulates around my head.
But then there are moments that are beautiful that are full of wonder and amazement that I can almost think I have achieved something good that day.
Until you start crying randomly at some music that brings it all back and all the negativity is refaced.
You see depression isn’t just one set of emotion, I have only named a few in this post but I want people to be aware that this mental illness is not just dichotomy and that it is much more complicated then what the media portray.
Cheers for reading X
Sometimes these feels can come and flow for hours without stopping. I feel I am stuck this way but something out of the blue happens and it vanishes, just like that. It feels like it just melts away and some other sensation takes over the reins leading m to feel a certain way. I know these may be an excuse but it feels like an unconscious invasion when really let’s face facts it is all my own doing, I have no one to blame but me and my responses to situations. The emotions are so erratic at times I worry.
You lure me in,
with your lovely charm,
the temptation is strong,
I feel you like no other,
you know that i know,
the attraction is strong,
because the noise is between us,
a special connection,
a communication like no other.
You don’t have to be deep in mindfulness to appreciate the beauty of mindfulness. You can take little bits of practice and apply to your everyday life.
I suppose the first thing is to understand what mindfulness, well basically in a nutshell it is being in a mental state where you are present and mindful of the moment. But also accepting and acknowledging any feelings or thoughts that the person has.
One of the ways to use an activity such as colouring or anything really that involves concentration can help, as well as it being creative can help visitation technique.
Stopping what your doing and focusing on the breathing. If you have a trail of thought accept that and focus on a thought or feeling that you may have, or it could be looking at something in detail in the room. This can bring back being aware of your surrounding and slowing down the thoughts. It can help give you time to think a bit more clearer as well.
Another mindfulness practice is to concentrate on the body part that is holding tension and focus releasing that tension. The best thing to do is to sit somewhere quite and comfortable where you can focus on scanning your body where you feel tense, then allow that body part to relax and let go of that tension. This can give you more knowledge of where you might hold tension and also give you sense of listening to your body and working with it to help reduce the anxiety.
Overall, the main idea of mindfulness is breathing, being aware and concentrating on listening to your body, in-turn being mindful of what is happening. However, not necessarily responding in anyway.
I myself am not a total convert to mindfulness but I take some practices and adapt them to my life. I have found over the months mindfulness to be beneficial especially when I feel like I am not in control.
I hope this has been enlightening and maybe you want to give it a go. As I said I am no practitioner in it but if you want to look further in detail you can find more information here.
Cheers for reading X
My backbone is dense,
I want to smash it right up,
but it is too hard.
Sometimes I don’t have the energy,
to embrace the day,
to fight this thing called life.
It is more appealing to hide,
In my little bubble,
with no interference,
form the so-called people,
that wide me up terrible.
My head goes into spin,
so I lose my direction,
with no idea,
how to get back in the arena.
All I can do is rest,
Waiting for the moment,
For me to perform.
The front that saves me,
So much heartache and woe,
When my strength appears,
I can get back to fighting levels,
With the armor of safety,
To complete in this difficulty,
Of life and all it’s mystery.
The fear is creeping in,
The dread is left open,
I feel I am out of control.
I have no one but me,
To save me in this place.
I feel locked in and jittery,
Like a rattle,
That won’t stop,
My body is in overdrive,
But please won’t you stop.
If I could just chill out,
Instead of working over time,
No one has done this,
But silly old me.
Back to square one,
Here I go,
With no direction to go.
Today I decided change was here,
for once I felt liberated,
to let go of the past.
The time is now,
let’s evolve and go forth,
I can and I will,
I don’t need that extra help,
Keep being authentic,
if it is meant to be
it will be,
I am sick of worrying
about this and that,
things hold me back,
and it eats my motivation.
This is my turning point,
where I move forward,
and be the person I want to be.
I believe that animals are really great for children and help them learn in so many ways. Let me express them reasons below:
- Animals teach children how to be gentle and soft towards animals.
- Animals can help with learning, mainly dogs because children who are not feeling confident in reading out loud are more willing to do so when dogs are around. They feel more confident in reading to dogs which can really help enhance their education.
- Animals can be loving and be a companion towards children.
- It can give responsibility to the child to learn to clean, feed and make sure the animal is loved.
- Stroking animals can help lower blood pressure and calm down a child who is angry or anxious. By giving the child something to focus on, therefore can help relax the child through touch and stroking movements that are slow and gentle.
- Animals help provide love and build a relationship of trust between child and animal.
- Having animals around can help strength immune system.
- Living with an animal can provide compassion in children.
- Sharing a common interest of looking after animals with other siblings can help enhance the relationship of the siblings because they have a common thing that they are both interested in.
- Having an animal to cuddle can help reduce loliness, isolation and feelings of hopelessness.
Cheers for reading X