why being a woman sucks!

Hey readers,

Sometimes being a female can be lovely but other times it can totally suck. Let me tell you the things that I hate as a women.

I suppose the most obvious one is periods, which occur typically once a month where your emotions are all over the place and if that is not bad enough, you have blood for five to seven days leaking out of your vagina.

U by Kotex Brand shocked facepalm smh period GIF

A pain is having to wear bras and dealing with twisted straps, it is so frustrating.

The size of female clothing is ridiculous and varies from one shop to the next. Men have it is so much easier because they have a certain measurement that fits where as different sizes occur in women’s fashion, grrrrrr.

Feeling that if you have too many emotions going on then your not taking serious to the point where people deem you as being a drama queen.

 sad no baby crying emotions GIF

Pressures of being thin and trying to be this perfect ideal is horrible and you feel crap most of the time because I am so fucking fat.

You can’t pee anywhere, you have to find a suitable place to sit. I am so jealous of men that can piss anywhere including a bottle.

This expectation that us females are good at cooking, talking and all the other crappy stereotypes, not round here mate.

The pain of having to frequently  shave your legs in the summer if you want to wear a skirt.

If you chose to wear miscara are or eye make up and restraining yourself from rubbing your eyes or else you end up looking like Alice Cooper’s sister.

This idea that females are meant to be good at communicating and that we all love small talk. Well I don’t and I am suitable shit at, not to mention saying things at the wrong time.

Cheers for reading X

 

The day in the life of a depressive

Hey readers,

Today I woke up elevated with thoughts of all sorts of possibilities and within ten minutes everything got shot down again. You see depression for me anyway is not where you sit in corner and cry 24/7 – though there have been times when I have done that. But I feel depression is not simply the black cloud that hangs above but it is all sorts of emotions that I experience during the day.

abstract 1

This may seem an odd thing to say but there are glimpses of happiness that can last 30 seconds to five minutes and I have even been know to laugh. You would think nothing was wrong with me, but you will be fooled.

Then my brain reminds  me of how shit my life is and how I mess up everything, and majority of the time it can be rooted to my autism. I don’t care what people’s views are living with autism is no walk in the park and it is hard to deal with. Sometimes, I just want to have a break from myself and then just stop the work. It is exhausting and emotionally draining, which affects my mood deeply.

abstract 2

The next feeling could be agitation and just general hopelessness of being  stuck  in a situation that I have no  control over.

Anger comes along when I have to listen to the next person who tells me that it is mind over matter and that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it. Don’t let the autism get the way they chant, but basically everyone can fuck I want to  be dead. For that one second sometimes you think the world would be better if I simply didn’t exist then having to deal with the nonsense circulates around my head.

abstract 3

But then there are moments that are beautiful that are full of wonder and amazement that I can almost think I have achieved something good that day.

Until you start crying randomly at some music that brings it all back and all the negativity is refaced.

You see depression isn’t just one set of emotion, I have only named a few in this post but I want people to be aware that this mental illness is not just dichotomy and that it is much more complicated then what the media portray.

Cheers for reading X

Fluid

 

clouds

Sometimes these feels can come and flow for hours without stopping. I feel I am stuck this way but something out of the blue happens and it vanishes, just like that. It feels like it just melts away and some other sensation takes over the reins leading m to feel a certain way. I know these may be an excuse but it feels like an unconscious invasion when really let’s face facts it is all my own doing, I have no one to blame but me and my responses to situations. The emotions are so erratic at times I worry.

spaghetti unwined

Hey readers,

I was eating spaghetti today and it promoted me to write about it as you do. But look deeper the layers of thought of an eating disorder that crops up. i will promise one day I will write a lighthearted poem with no dark undertones.

Sometimes spaghetti can be quite charming,

squealing around the plate at me,

maybe because I have a weakness,

but I would rather have a carb then a hamburger,

any old day of the week is fine by me.

In the mist of my hazy love affair,

where my emotions and food are complex,

that I feel perplexed to understand my weakness,

for all things gluttony .

Even though it at times makes me squeal with delight,

I will always struggle with being weak,

it will catch me when I am desperate,

for the love of food can not be matched,

to any other relationship,

that is manifested with hate and love.

Cheers for reading X

Prose for Thought

Walking

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

WALKING 2

This is because the sun has been shinning and the boys have mainly requesting to visit the park. I took advance now as we all know that rain will eventually greet us!

I have been forcing myself out when sometimes like to hide away, because you know people are scary ;)! I digress I have been upping up my walking and pushing myself that little more. We went out as a family for a walk for two three hours and it has been fun. Where we live locally there is a plantasia and a maze world. There is a cute little farm and we even got to see the little baby chicken which was super cute!

In other news I don’t whether it is phase or not but my eldest has really been pushing my buttons the past two weeks. he has proper got an attitude and speaking back. I struggle to keep calm and not get wound up. So I had a couple of times take myself away as I am learning to with new challenge. Patenting never ending challenges that we have to deal with and adapt, joy!

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence