The end of reception year at school

To my darling boy,

Can you believe that you have completed your reception and you will moving to year one. I can still remember when you were first born and being so tiny, how times have changed!

Well what can I say have noticed a real transformation, some good, some challenging shall we say. This year we have learnt so much about you and the person you are becoming.

I and daddy are so learning that you are autistic, even though no one will listen at the moment, but that is more politics and what the eyes can see more than anything but that is a can of worms that I won’t open here.

You have progressively got better with your speech and through expression. You have become more confident and independent. You have thrived in learning – I can’t actually believe how much you love reading now. You can’t seem to stop writing, which is just lovely to see. Your thirst for knowledge is mesmerising (thank Goodness for YouTube).

I know you feel frustrating at the beginning of school due to misunderstandings through communication but you have become more patient and willing to listen.  You’re so determined and possibly a little bit stubborn but I think that this are positive traits in a person and make good qualities in life.

You’re such a caring boy, always being kind and listening to others. You don’t exclude people and you want to make sure that they are involved. This might be down to understanding about mummy’s autism and the way that she cannot do the things others can do. Therefore, allowing you to be understanding of other’s needs.

You have excelled in every element of your school report and we are so proud of you. You have come on heaps and bouts. There is more work to do but I know you can achieve it as you are dedicated and focused.

We spoke to your teacher the day before you broke up and she said that you have improved a lot with your behaviour. When asked do you get involved with the naughty behaviour that other people do y out step aside and don’t get invoked. You are now more of a role model child to kids. Me and your daddy believe that this is down to the fact a few months ago we talked openly about your autism and how it affects you in certain ways.

I love you dear child and you make me so proud to allow me to call you mummy.

Well done and here is to the next year which I know you can’t wait to get stuck into

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Love you,

Mummy X

Mummascribbles

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

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My boy of late…

Hey readers,

I have a confession to make, today was hard day for me mentally, not only am I dealing with my  own issues but also them of  my son’s. Today he had a major meltdown which left us at breaking point. Not just for me I think, but actually for my husband as well. My husband is normally chilled out and causal about stuff so, it must be pretty bad when he is worried about how he will not only mange  with his wife’s autism (he is my carer as well) but potentially his son’s.

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I am currently sat in the other room because I really can’t cope at this point with my son’s screaming for over an hour.

We went to visit a butterfly farm locally to us, today, the butterflies are in a massive green house room and can freely flutter by. Here is where the problem lies, my son had a meltdown at this place because he could not cope with the butterflies random movement (which  I struggle also struggle with) but had taken medication to physical effects of anxiety).  He is 5 years old and is an independent walker however, my husband had to carry him around as the only place where he was calm after the heightened anxiety was where the butterflies were not in one of the other areas. The moment he stepped back into the arena where all the butterflies were that was it again, he just could not cope with it and was panic attack.

All afternoon he has been on a roller-coaster of emotions. But finally he has settled to just streaming and I mean screaming. He literally has to be restraint because of how violent his behaviour has become. He is biting, scratching, hitting, and lashing out and potentially harming our youngest.

Now,  I have been on a parenting course where it is frowned upon restraining children. I am very conscious of this. I do not do it under any circumstances but when it is a situation where risk involved and the child is hurting themselves and no other way can help that child stay calm then is not much left we could of done.

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Now you are wondering have we been to the professionals to discuss our concerns and the answer is yes, several times. Let me tell you the background, firstly he started school this September so we approached the school to see what his behaviour was like and to ask for guidance. They did observe but didn’t feel any worries. So, we went to our GP, he said to speak to the specialist person. SO we did and filled out our worries on paper, then they would investigate. That was fine, they came back to us I think within the month saying that they have taken on board our concerns but because his behaviour is not affecting him at school that they can not really do anything. However, they did say that come back in a year and see what is behaviour is like and see if any behaviour changes have occurred.

Well that is great help because as most of us know generally children are totally different when they are school, it is a different environment etc. I asked my cpn (community psychiatric nurse) who see’s me for my mental health what his advice is because he may have had experience and what he thinks we should do.

He said that the only path at the moment is through the school or GP. So because my son’s behaviour is masked (because I know for one he copies a lot of behaviour, he is very similar to me. I kid you not my husband always says that talking to him is like talking to me).

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So, basically there is no other avenue, because apparently if the child is perfectly well behaved then the child will go through the net but if the child is extreme then they will get the help they deserve. Bearing in mind that these teachers are looking after 30 odd children so they can’t spend long periods of time with them individually. It is just so frustrating right now because we just don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure no seems to care if your not extreme. They see the whole picture and that is what really sucks.

I am writing this so that I can document my journey with my eldest, who knows where we will end up but his behaviour is erratic and there is genuine concern there.

Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


The Tale of Mummyhood

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

Star 

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

Because I got to see my son receive star of the week during assembly and he was beyond happy.  He was grinning like a Cheshire cat and it was lovely to see, especially after he has been waiting ages to receive it.  So, now it is up on display and he just loves looking at it and admiring his achievement.

Also, my eldest at the week end moved up a stage in swimming, which he is super happy about as his special friend moved up there pre-Christmas, therefore getting to be reunited again. So, now he can rejoin her and it helps him feel a bit more confident in the group as he knows a familiar face.

In other news I have been enjoying reading and being able to escape especially as this weather has been grime this week!

Hope you all had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

Ftmob – January 2017

Hey readers,

Whilst drawing in a book for pen control with my eldest son, he commented saying that this the bird and (the line) is a wee line as he is a male and has a willy.

Early this week in the car the eldest wanting to discuss, “what is love?” which we had to explain the different types of love and what it felt like when you love something or someone.

My eldest was super tired the other day and really upset. “I want to be a women and have a baby”. He was absolutely gutted that he can’t have a baby. We also explained that you don’t just need a woman to have a baby but also need a man to fertilise the egg.

My youngest over the past month speech/vocabulary has come on leaps and bounds. When it was just me and him shopping he said, “I miss daddy and my older brother”, so cute.

My eldest made me laugh, “I wish Christmas was every day”. Hubby said, “well emm Christmas can’t be every day as it will be very boring and nothing special. Not to mention cost a fortune”. My son responded, “Ok daddy, then let’s just have it two or three days a week”.

Cheers for reading X

Little Hearts, Big Love

Festive

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

festive

Because it is all about finishing of all the presents to get ready without the children around. On Friday both boys will break up for the Christmas period and it is amazing how extra long it takes to do anything with a kid in tow. So, I am making the most of my childfree time.

In other news, we finally got out lovely glittery Christmas tree up that covers everything in glitter, joy! To help me get Christmassy I listened to a bit of Frank Sineta Christmas songs whilst decorating the tree. I am so glad I didn’t buy any more cards, as when the box of Christmas stuff came down I forgot all the purchases during January sales I got, all I say I love a good bargain!

On Tuesday hubby, ds2 and myself got to see my eldest perform as a snowman in his Christmas performance at school. Was so lovely to see him dance and sing. He looked adoreable in his snowman suit.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

FTMOB – December

Hey readers,

My youngest is obsessed with pumpkins and every time he sees something that is orange and round it is a “pumpkin”, especially when he sees the lights on top of the zebra crossing.

My eldest has been to our local cathedral in our city for a trip with the school. So many questions about Jesus and bombing. He asked his daddy, “why did Jesus get bombed?!”

My youngest always comments about his brother by stated, “he is my big brother”. Super cute.

My youngest sees bees and calls them, “bzzzzzz, bzzzzzz”.

Anything that my ds1 sees that needs mending or painting or whatever he says, “daddy can fix that, he can mend anything, he has strong muscles, super big muscles”.

Cheers for reading X

Little Hearts, Big Love

Singing

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

 

Image result for singing word art

This is because my eldest has been practing all his new songs and singing ecerynight. He has a Christmas perfomance next week and is really uthesatic about it. He is super excited to be performing so I have spend a lot of my evenings hearing him singing away at a very high pitch 😉

In other news, we got our tree up and that was fun decorating it with the boys. Although, shhh, me and hubby later in the evening re-arranged the decorations or else it would look somewhat uneven. Which is fine but at top looks so bare, haha!

I have also nearly done all the christmas present shopping, whoop. We need to get the main present which is a doll’s house from Asda. Which I am super excited as hubby finally caved ina dn we are going to be getting it. It is massive but luckily we have found a suitable for it to live.

Cheers for reading X

The Reading Residence

FTMOB – November

Hey readers,

My five year old son never stops rabbiting. Seriously, I mean am not an outgoing and suffer with social anxiety. His dad is friendly and can talk to random people. My son however is on another level. He is non-stop chat from the moment he wakes till he hits his head on the pillow. He get’s very exhausted and just don’t know how he hasn’t suffered from jaw ache yet! Anyone lets get cracking on some conversations shall we:

I live on sixteen floor tower block and my ds1 said to me today, “mummy, we live in a really tall tower block today”. I can’t really capture it through words but just the relavation and astonishment really cracked me up.

Yesterday we went out to a local cafe for some lunch and my youngest has been poorly from a sickness bug. It has resulted him losing his appitite and suffering from hn constipation. Which is very usual for him as a regular poo deliever. Daddy earlier said to my ds1 we needed to get some orange juice to help make his brother feel better. So when my ds1 was choosing a drink he said, “I gave him orange juice because I know he is not well and it would help me feel better”. Seriously my son can really push my buttons and we do clash as we are so alike.  However, ds1 is so caring and thoughtful it really does melt your heart.

Close by near our home there is a single tree with a box round it  but it has gaps where the kids walk into it. My  eldest loves calling it ‘jail’.

On the bus today  me and my eldest were discussing Father Christmas. This is how the conversation unraveled so funny and logical really. Him – “Father Christmas on Christmas Eve travels all AROUND the world to deliever presents to EVERYONE. When he has finished he is so tired that he needs to rest all day”. Honestly I pissed myself laughing, it was such a brilliant thought.

Finally my youngest earlier was playing with our cat with the cat teaser stick. He was bending round to see him and calling him,’Monty, Monty’. Which I think is just adoreable.

Cheers for reading X

Little Hearts, Big Love

Ftmob – October 

Hey readers,

Hubby shared a chat he had with my eldest early, “I wish mummy didn’t have autism. Can’t Dr’s give her medication to make it go away”. How to feel shit in fice seconds. It breaks my heart that I am now getting noticed by my son with being different, I suppose this is the start of things to come.

My eldest asking,” why do so many people get cremated it’s silly!”. 

My DS1 saying, “I wish we could live in Wales forever and never come back”. Yep me too son I wish I could totally run away from it all at times :|.

I attempted to make a joke to my DS1 saying I would leave him in the car all by himself. His response was that it is ilegal to leave children alone in the car and the police will put you in jail mummy.

As we were driving past the graveyard the other day way DS2 comments, “boo”. this is becuase he thinks the tear ghosts there, 😂 
Cheers for reading X

Little Hearts, Big Love