Getting children out of the door

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they  want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get someone urgent they go to  slough mode!

Here are some thoughts and conversationset I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door.

1) Please get ready, we need to get to school.

 please stitch lilo and stitch beg GIF

2) I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool.

3) If I you don’t get ready then I am going to turn off the TV but at the same time promising to turn the tv on because you need to sit still because you need to do their hair.

4) If you don’t get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let’s face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

 simpsons GIF

5) When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6) Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn’t want the illusion to vanish from the teachers eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7) Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended).

8) If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity in tact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, if gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

Bachelor in Paradise season 3 episode 9 abc crying GIF

10) If your child loves school as much as mine threaten that if they don’t get dressed won’t go to school that day and do nothing all day at home. Amazing how effective that is and they comply to your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

Mummascribbles

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Five activities that won't break the bank 

Hey readers,

Today I want to talk about things to do when you’re skint because that’s my situation right now.  I thought this may be of use to parents who struggle to find cheap entertainment when you have lack of funds.

1. The first thing that I would suggest is the most obvious thing and that is just to take a ball, frisbee or anything that is suitable for the park It can be just the local Apr down the road  but it is still fun. Not to mention getting some fresh air and a break from the four walls of your home.

2. If you are bored, skint and at home then pick film. You can even find a ton of free films on YouTube. Such a easy activity  to kill a couple of hours especially when it is rainy or to stop the never ending.

3. If you are desperately needing to escape the Doom of mummy prison then I suggest get your wellies on and go out. Even if it is to just simply collect leaves, sticks and stones. All I can be fantastic material to paint with at home. It is free and a real winner in my home.

4. I love my library, it is such a fabulous service within the community. It is  free to loan books and children’s audio books. There is free activities such as rhythmtime and story time – in the latter they provide  free activities with all their materials such as paper and colouring in pens. It  is a great day out for everyone and you’re learning, what more could you want?!

5. A classic activity to do when you’re skint is to get the board games out or jigsaws. You will be amazed at how much it can kill an hour or two and it us great bonding time. plus, it helps teach children patience and to share!

Is there anything I have not mentioned that is a real winner in your home that doesn’t break the bank?
Hope you have found this helpful and whatever you do I hope you have lots of fun.

Cheers for reading X

Top tips to keep children drinking water

Water makes up more of a child’s body than an adult’s so it is vital they have plenty to drink as they are more prone to dehydration.  

 How much they need depends on each child, but health experts suggest 6-8 glasses each day.  For younger children, the British Nutrition Foundation suggests servings of 120-150mls, and 250-300mls for older children. 

 But, of course, expert advice is one thing, getting your child to follow that advice is another. 

 

Top tips for keeping children hydrated

 Let them choose a water bottle 

 Younger children in particular will love having a new trinket. Let them help to fill up the bottle with filtered drinking water and the novelty should at least last a week or two and hopefully form into a habit. 

 Make ice lollies at home 

 Invest in lolly moulds then add flavourings or juice to filtered drinking water. At least you will know what is actually in the lollies – and that there is water in there! 

 Always have water on hand 

  

Save yourself a fortune on drinks by always carrying a refillable bottle of filtered drinking water. Pack well when heading out for the day with a bottle for everyone and frequently offer children a sip of water. 

 

Try to cut back on sugary drinks 

A glass of squash made up with filtered drinking water may help to keep fluid levels topped up but dentists advise keeping these to meal times to minimise sugar damage.  

 Encourage children to drink more when exercising  

 It can seem like young children are on the go all the time. Keep offering them water as they race around and remind older children to take a bottle of drinking water with them. 

 Should the sunshine make an appearance… 

 Provide plenty of fresh, cool filtered drinking water to stop children getting dehydrated in the heat. 

 Most of all make sure they have plenty of energy to enjoy playing by staying hydrated.

For more information on hydration and the benefits of drinking filtered water visit Doulton Water 

Letter to the parents of children starting school 

To the parents of children starting in reception,

I know people get emotional when their child starts school in reception. My child will start year one in September so, I thought I would share with you what I have learnt over the year.

Firstly, I have read a lot about the emotional impact it has on a parent when their child starts school. Let’s be logical here they are not gone forever and this is an exciting new chapter on there life. Some parents sadly don’t ever get to see this opportunity so look on the bright side, at least they are growing healthy and growing into their own little personality.

school 2

They will still love you but they are now that little more independent. I sure for one don’t want my child needing me so intensely.

Most of the time the child will enjoy the new experience. Sometimes, a child may have additional needs or struggle to settle in. but that is ok as the school is there to provide the support.

school 1

Not many people know this but reception is actually classed as nursery. They do not need to pay for time off if you go on holiday. I have spoken to a teacher who has told me this information. So, stand your ground if you want to take your child out for a holiday.
Reception year is more about settling in and adjusting to school life. They will learn to write phonetically (which  is honestly a load of shite but I won’t go into that, as that is a post in itself). They learn to read which is lovely as my son had book each week to practice at home and he loves reading now.

They go on trips which is so much fun as most children love to be like a grown up especially when it is away from the family.

They will explore and learn all about the world, it will help them understand others.

it is also a testing time for a child as they need to learn to get on and share with other children. Some children are more bossy whilst others can be shy. This is life and I believe something good for the child to learn about different types of personality. Using skills are adapting and working out what way would be best to get the result they are searching for.

It will change them but for the good. They will grown as we all do and develop that much further. But don’t worry because they not alone as others are going through the same experience.

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DS1 on his first day at school, happy as Larry!

Cheers for reading X

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Father's day gift guide 2017

Hey readers,

Next month (18th June) will be Father’s day and if you are struggling for ideas then look no further, as I have complied a father’s day guide.

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1) Firstly, my hubby is into baking and cooking, I know shock right. But I thought he might enjoy this as he always watches the programme and there is something beautiful about flicking through a cook book when you have five minutes to yourself. The Great British Bake Off Every Day cook book, full of favourite recipes from Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood. You pick pick up a copy from Asda (£9).

2) Looking for something amusing and a Star Wars Fan, check out this funny mug with the well know Yoda character printed on it. You can buy this online from Etsy (£6.99 + P&p).

3) Now, this item is slightly pricey but it will be a top hit for the techno man in your life. It is a spectrum solo DAB+FM radio. I like the fact that it looks similar to a Lego piece so something little bit different from your typical DAB style radio. But be perfect to have in the kitchen or even if you opt for a summer barbie in the garden, will create the perfect ambience. You can buy the radio from  John Lewis (£40).

4) If you want something a little bit different check out  Matalan option of growing your own pizza toppings (£3).

5) Always a hit in my household is the old alcohol beverage and this Hobgoblin beer from Tesco (£1.25) will nicely quench any father’s first on the special day.

I hope you have found this guide inspiring and whatever way you celebrate Father’s day, I hope you have a fabulous day spoling the father’s in your life.

Cheers for reading X

 Cheers for reading X

My Petit Canard
My Random Musings

Ftmob – January 2017

Hey readers,

Whilst drawing in a book for pen control with my eldest son, he commented saying that this the bird and (the line) is a wee line as he is a male and has a willy.

Early this week in the car the eldest wanting to discuss, “what is love?” which we had to explain the different types of love and what it felt like when you love something or someone.

My eldest was super tired the other day and really upset. “I want to be a women and have a baby”. He was absolutely gutted that he can’t have a baby. We also explained that you don’t just need a woman to have a baby but also need a man to fertilise the egg.

My youngest over the past month speech/vocabulary has come on leaps and bounds. When it was just me and him shopping he said, “I miss daddy and my older brother”, so cute.

My eldest made me laugh, “I wish Christmas was every day”. Hubby said, “well emm Christmas can’t be every day as it will be very boring and nothing special. Not to mention cost a fortune”. My son responded, “Ok daddy, then let’s just have it two or three days a week”.

Cheers for reading X

Little Hearts, Big Love

Letter to the lady in the resturant 

Hey Lady,

Yes I see you give me evils, I know what your thinking, how dare I bring my child to the restaurant and the check of it to let it scream blue murder. I know your children are perfect sitting there ignoring each other with there electronics. I don’t care normally, but when you judge me, I will judge you. Your subtle involvement is merely rude and unhelpful. I am a parent of two young children and they are not perfect nor is my parenting. Yes they make noise but that is there right and sometimes it can get out of hand. However, us parents are trying to deal with the situation and stop the horrendous noises. Your judgement really is unhelpful to say the least.

You see we were travelling back home from a long day visiting relatives and it was bank holiday. My hubby really wanted an Indian and to be honest he is a bit of foodie. I on the other hand much prefer McDonalds with children, at least no one judges you when your child if it decides to have a tantrum.

But why can’t we eat in a restaurant, there is no law that says we can’t. We are just left to feel rubbish because we are not performing seals. I know you would love us to ‘control’ our child but I am too liberal for that carry on. Why should I hide behind doors or feel ashamed my child is not perfect, he is three for God’s sake and can sit no longer then five minutes if we are lucky. But he needs to learn the rules of the game, needs to test his boundaries,more important mummy and daddy need to fucking eat and this is the only place to get food this time of the day.

The tuttering doesn’t help anyone and you are not squeaky clean here either. You are four adults getting pissed further and further into the night and making your own ridiculous loud volume. Now, this doesn’t normally bother me but if you keep looking at me every other second, it bothers me. you made me feel shit and a bad parent. I am no one near perfect but for I try, and nothing is worse for someone with social anxiety to feel that they are constantly being judged. So next time please think about your actions, you may want instant action but it has left me feeling pretty crappy and desperate to escape, much to the annoyance of my husband.

Next time I am not asking you to be my friend,  all I want is you to try to be a little more understanding, it would make a huge difference. It would break down the whole judgement that seems to happen frequently when we go out to adult type places. Giving parents with little self confidence the encourage to go out with the child. Even if it is just to a restaurant to eat without feeling judged.

Yours sincerely,

the mother with the screaming, over tired and not always having the vocabulary to express himself three year old.

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