New

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because it is the new year, shiny and sparkly 2018! Happy new year to all my readers, let’s have a good one or just a week to get over the b***s**t!

I received as a present four tickets for me, hubby and the boys to go to the panatomine. Now, I haven’t been  before for a couple of reasons. 1. it is bloody expensive and 2. the times I thought about it was with my eldest but there was no way in hell he would spend ten minutes sitting down. He would be a nightmare and potentially run around everywhere.

So, this year we went to our local theatre and watched Cinderella (in all honesty I am envious that my mum who got me the tickets opted for herself tickets to see madness. I think she had the better deal of getting to seeing Madness tribute act. Which I am pretty sure both my kids would of enjoyed, lol).

Anyway, the boys still loved it as it was entertaining for them. Here is the thing that annoyed me when viewing the performance,  considering that it appeared that most of the audience was a younger then say 10 they said, ‘smash your face in’ and ‘stupid’ which I am not sure whether it was really appropriate, maybe it is, I don’t know. But for me I felt a bit uncomfortable that one of the actors said it to a six year old, now I have a six year old and lucky it wasn’t him because I  would not of been happy at all. Still, it was an experience and something different especially after the christmas climax.

Cheers for reading X

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Over! 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is: 

because just like that Christmas is all done and dusted for another year. We had a lovely time at home with the boys. They loved getting new toys.
The eldest being autisitic struggled at the end of Christmas day. The reality of this is that he had a meltdown for three hours screaming, shouting, spitting, biting. This is the reality of living with an autisitic.
However, Boxing day was much perfered for him as there was no surprises and I focused on a routine for him so he felt safe. 

We now are working our way through building all the Lego! 
It also has been lovely to indulge in the food and I have eaten a fair few mince pies this week that I suspect that I may turn into one, haha! 
Hope you have had a lovely week,

Cheers for reading X

Autism and sadness

Hey readers,

Today has been tough, as I write this it is the evening of Christmas Day, my son has had a three hour meltdown, including an unexpected visitor at the door causing further distress.

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Both me and my eldest have autism and are greatly affected by change and over stimulated environments. As lovely as Christmas can be to celebrate a time when families get together, it can be very difficult for an autistic person because it is out of sync to their routine. Not to mention the stress of new stimuli in the environment even though I and my son enjoy presents it can still contribute to anxiety.

The whole idea of a day where it is completely different from normal, unpredictable and long can take its toll. This normally exhibits itself in a meltdown due to struggling with how to deal with emotions.

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The bright lights, the busy chaoticness of the day, the length of time together are all influences that can trigger an autistic person. It is hard even as an adult after experiencing Christmas several times in my lifetime I still struggle. I think the not really knowing what I am meant to do is tough.

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This year I seem to feel more sad because I witness the autistic behaviour in my eldest more. I can feel his pain and I know this is so illogical and silly but truth be told part of me hates myself for being the risker of passing down the genes on to my son. No one really likes to see their child in pain, you want them to be happy and thrive. I don’t care if I get slated by the autistic community if I could take that pain from my son away I would in an instinct. Yes there are some super qualities but I would choose happiness over stress any day of the week. I want the best for my son, I don’t want him struggling, however the autism will always be a barrier and it is something we will have to manage. That doesn’t stop me from being sad. I love my son unconditionally with autism but if I could I would get rid of it. He is struggling in a neurotypical world, I can see pain now and that it is the hardest bit, seeing my poor boy struggle, I just want to protect him and see him happy. That is all.

Cheers for reading X

 

Merry Christmas 2017

Hey readers,

Merry Christmasand a happynew year

I just want to wish everyone a merry Christmas and all the best with 2018. I hope you have a good one and that you are given peace, happiness and joy.

I want to also thank everyone who has followed my blog, liked, commented and shared my posts through the year. I am forever grateful for your support.

Lots of love,

Sam X

Tired 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

tired 2

 

It is the final week and like every end of term I am exhausted. I think my eldest is too and could do with a break from over thinking everything.

A positive for us this week is I got to see my eldest perform in his play and he even had two lines. He was dressed as a shepherd. He looks so sweet when on stage.

My youngest at nursery christmas had a  sing a long, which he absolutely loved as he love  Christmas songs. He is a massive fan of music and dance, he really puts his heart and soul into it.

Yesterday we made some cute and fairly simple reindeer cookies, which was fun because it got both boys in the festive period.

Now, all I need to do is get cracking on with all the wrapping, which we be mostly done tonight hopefully whilst watching The Last Leg.

Cheers for reading X