My boy of late…

Hey readers,

I have a confession to make, today was hard day for me mentally, not only am I dealing with my  own issues but also them of  my son’s. Today he had a major meltdown which left us at breaking point. Not just for me I think, but actually for my husband as well. My husband is normally chilled out and causal about stuff so, it must be pretty bad when he is worried about how he will not only mange  with his wife’s autism (he is my carer as well) but potentially his son’s.

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I am currently sat in the other room because I really can’t cope at this point with my son’s screaming for over an hour.

We went to visit a butterfly farm locally to us, today, the butterflies are in a massive green house room and can freely flutter by. Here is where the problem lies, my son had a meltdown at this place because he could not cope with the butterflies random movement (which  I struggle also struggle with) but had taken medication to physical effects of anxiety).  He is 5 years old and is an independent walker however, my husband had to carry him around as the only place where he was calm after the heightened anxiety was where the butterflies were not in one of the other areas. The moment he stepped back into the arena where all the butterflies were that was it again, he just could not cope with it and was panic attack.

All afternoon he has been on a roller-coaster of emotions. But finally he has settled to just streaming and I mean screaming. He literally has to be restraint because of how violent his behaviour has become. He is biting, scratching, hitting, and lashing out and potentially harming our youngest.

Now,  I have been on a parenting course where it is frowned upon restraining children. I am very conscious of this. I do not do it under any circumstances but when it is a situation where risk involved and the child is hurting themselves and no other way can help that child stay calm then is not much left we could of done.

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Now you are wondering have we been to the professionals to discuss our concerns and the answer is yes, several times. Let me tell you the background, firstly he started school this September so we approached the school to see what his behaviour was like and to ask for guidance. They did observe but didn’t feel any worries. So, we went to our GP, he said to speak to the specialist person. SO we did and filled out our worries on paper, then they would investigate. That was fine, they came back to us I think within the month saying that they have taken on board our concerns but because his behaviour is not affecting him at school that they can not really do anything. However, they did say that come back in a year and see what is behaviour is like and see if any behaviour changes have occurred.

Well that is great help because as most of us know generally children are totally different when they are school, it is a different environment etc. I asked my cpn (community psychiatric nurse) who see’s me for my mental health what his advice is because he may have had experience and what he thinks we should do.

He said that the only path at the moment is through the school or GP. So because my son’s behaviour is masked (because I know for one he copies a lot of behaviour, he is very similar to me. I kid you not my husband always says that talking to him is like talking to me).

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So, basically there is no other avenue, because apparently if the child is perfectly well behaved then the child will go through the net but if the child is extreme then they will get the help they deserve. Bearing in mind that these teachers are looking after 30 odd children so they can’t spend long periods of time with them individually. It is just so frustrating right now because we just don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure no seems to care if your not extreme. They see the whole picture and that is what really sucks.

I am writing this so that I can document my journey with my eldest, who knows where we will end up but his behaviour is erratic and there is genuine concern there.

Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


The Tale of Mummyhood

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

Ten thoughts when waiting in a queue

Hey readers,

I am terribly British as I love a good moan and I have a hatred for queues. As we are fast approaching Christmas it can only mean one thing, mass of people shopping which then incurs bigger queues, joy!

Image result for shopping queues shop

 

So here are some of my thoughts that have entered my mind whilst moving my feet about and admiring the sweet section near the tills in a massive queue.

  1. How dare anyone other then me be here. They have a fucking check.
  2. Seriously, I have just lost half an hour of my life when I could be spending that time at home stalking on Facebook.
  3. Why did I just not simply use Amazon, FFS!
  4. Should I or should I not buy some chocolate when I reach the till.
  5. Life sucks.
  6. At least while I am here I don’t need to bother with  housework or anyone nagging at me. I can just get sore feet from standing around doing sweet F.A.
  7. Do I really need this stuff, yes of course my life depends on having some cheap emoji socks to brighten my mood.
  8. I curse my husband, how dare he reuquest me to buy stuff from the shop. He will pay, mwahahahahaha
  9. Why the fuck is there no signal, I am so not shopping in Sainsbury’s anymore, cunts!
  10. OMG, I can not believe this shop does not have wifi. Don’t you know it is a human right and now I am cut from human excisitance even though I am surrounded by people it is SO totally different. I need to know what is going on in the social world, what coffee people are photographying or the brilliant cat gifs that are emerging on the web. I think I may need to go to hospital as my arm feels cut of from not accessing the internet for 20 mintures, I am getting serious bad withdrawals.

Cheers for reading X

Life with Baby Kicks