Some people think that us parents do nothing but just sit and drink tea all day. This may be true of some things, however some things I need praise for the things I can achieve as a parent. Here is the type of things I am successful to achieve as a parent.
Cleaning up my darling child’s snot, here you go, darling, have my lovely warm clean jumper sleeve to remove that string of snot. I don’t care if I look a tramp, I just can’t stomach it anymore having to see you try to lick it away. *This is the kind of thing that normally happens when we are in public and I cannot access any bog roll*
I am suitably relaxed on the sofa watching This Morning and then the sheer terror washes over me as I hear the loud shout, “mummy, I’ve done a poo,” argh. That means I have to rush to the bathroom to do the loving chore of wiping the feces of my son’s bottom. I just pray it is not runny as it goes absolutely everywhere!
Some skills you never think you will acquire, until suddenly you become a parent and you have to think right outside the box (which to be honest as an autistic person myself is f**king hard and uses all my resources I can tell ya). It is amazing the stories I can come up with or using techniques just to keep the child quiet for five minutes when we are out. I never thought I could be so creative waiting in a busy dentist room with a leaflet to entertain a child.
You know what I never heard my own voice as much as becoming a parent, I take more notice than my child. Maybe it would be easier to invent a tiny person in my head who appreciates what I say, as no other sod does, haha!
I never knew there was such a thing as speed cleaning and boy have I got that down to a T. I have never dashed around the home to quickly make it less of a s**t tip in two minutes when I am greeted with unexpected visits.
One thing you soon learn early on in the game of parenting is that bribery wins the day, saves societies and makes family units strong.
It seems my children are allergic to finding anything that is requested of them, I seem to have developed a skill where I can find anything, particularly when it is so clearly visible to the naked eye. This skill takes little effort and nine times out of 10 can be sorted within 30 seconds, I know what your thinking totes amazeballs, right?!
Once I became a parent it seems I have another person to deal with and that is my little friend guilt, that is always committed to being there for me 100%.
Once I was not a fan of sick, but somehow miracles do happen and I am not afraid of sick anymore. If my child spontaneously wants to be sick on me, not that I would have chosen it but I would get on with it and deal with it.
Isn’t motherhood amazing, people don’t realise the commitment, but parents you mostly on average rock. *bar the odd dodgy parent*.
Cheers for reading X