why being a woman sucks!

Hey readers,

Sometimes being a female can be lovely but other times it can totally suck. Let me tell you the things that I hate as a women.

I suppose the most obvious one is periods, which occur typically once a month where your emotions are all over the place and if that is not bad enough, you have blood for five to seven days leaking out of your vagina.

U by Kotex Brand shocked facepalm smh period GIF

A pain is having to wear bras and dealing with twisted straps, it is so frustrating.

The size of female clothing is ridiculous and varies from one shop to the next. Men have it is so much easier because they have a certain measurement that fits where as different sizes occur in women’s fashion, grrrrrr.

Feeling that if you have too many emotions going on then your not taking serious to the point where people deem you as being a drama queen.

 sad no baby crying emotions GIF

Pressures of being thin and trying to be this perfect ideal is horrible and you feel crap most of the time because I am so fucking fat.

You can’t pee anywhere, you have to find a suitable place to sit. I am so jealous of men that can piss anywhere including a bottle.

This expectation that us females are good at cooking, talking and all the other crappy stereotypes, not round here mate.

The pain of having to frequently  shave your legs in the summer if you want to wear a skirt.

If you chose to wear miscara are or eye make up and restraining yourself from rubbing your eyes or else you end up looking like Alice Cooper’s sister.

This idea that females are meant to be good at communicating and that we all love small talk. Well I don’t and I am suitable shit at, not to mention saying things at the wrong time.

Cheers for reading X

 

Brighter

 

The day is brighten when it started of so rough. I didn’t think we would get here when my mind was set to default. I suppose things change and you never really know what is going to happen around the corner.

sunshine
I don’t know where I am going but I feel ready to cease the day. Maybe the change in weather is the turning point where I can feel more ready to face the challenges of life.

I went out for a walk in the gorgeous golden sun and watched the water pitter patter down the stream. Nothing quite like being out in the open to take stock and just enjoy the simple moment of what is happening right here, right now.

I feel so much better for escaping my surroundings even if it is just for twenty minutes walking down the road and back, anything to distract me is always good in my book.

kids playing

When I am walking down the road I take stock of the shadows dancing down below, whilst the sun rises above and shines all day long.

When once the area is so grim and gloomy, a little bit of sun can magically change the whole environment. It glisters the area with warmth and makes the ambience happy.

Everywhere is radiant and doesn’t matter about your background. We have all come for the same purpose and that is to enjoy this time and this moment in the sun.

bright

Kids are laughing, elderly are sleeping in their chair whilst the parents sit back and drink to celebrate the outdoors.

There is no need to rush because this moment is so lovely, that no one wants it to end. It makes life more bearable with a bit of fresh air. It is the simple things that can change a mindset. You don’t need a lot to reap the rewards of defiance. It is really is the small things like vitamin D and air to help you along and glide you through the ride of life.

Preventing burnout

Hey readers,

It is the end of the week, yet again I am pooped, my body is aching and I feel like I can do the bare minimum. I can only come to the conclusion that I am suffering from burnout. As an autistic person I don’t have as much energy as a neurotypical person because It takes a lot more energy to deal with my difficulties that I to face throughout the day. So, I am have been searching recently on ways to try and help ease the burnout and thought maybe others would like to hear on what has worked for me.

burnout 1

Make sure that during the day I have time out, where I don’t have to think but just be. This is not a time where I learn anything or have to remember certain cues, it’s a time to allow my brain to switch off and relax.

Being kind to myself – so easy to say but putting it into to practice is hard, especially if you are a perfectionist and give yourself a hard time. Looking at the small positive things that you have done during the day is a reminder that you’re doing ok.

burnout 2

Accepting that I cannot be superhuman and my energy is limited. The major thing that I struggle to do is ask for help or accept that it is ok for another person to do something, it does not mean you are a failure.

Being realistic with what you can achieve and focusing on sectioning out the important stuff and not so important. Learning the art of negotiating and leaving somethings for another time helps me make the day not so overwhelming.

burnout 3

Having a list and righting them in order of importance, plus giving those time frames helps me feel less overwhelmed and feel more comfortable about how my day is going to pan out.

What ways help you in dealing with burnout?

Cheers for reading X

How to be awesome

Hey readers,

Do you want to be awesome, I tell you how in my opinion and be warned nothing fancy!

awsome

Firstly, cliche I know but just be yourself, you don’t have to pretend  to be something that you are not. Just go with what feels right to you and then you relax more. But remember not everyone will like you and thing sometimes that is a bitter pill to take. However, if you have the attitude that it is OK because not everyone is going the same thing. That is what is good about life having that choice to make your own opinion.

Secondly, sometimes life can drag you right down to the bottom but don’t let the bastards grind you down. SO easy to do but remember it is just an opinion, you choice to take it or  not.  Just got to keep on listening to what your mind says and not what all the external stuff keeps telling you.

Enjoy the right, have a laugh and don’t take it too seriously will help you get through the days and be awesome!

Don’t hold grudges they just grind you down. Let it go like a balloon and focus on the moment because at the end of the day that is all that matters, is the hear and now.

Be around other awesome people that make you inspire to do good.

Keep being real and don’t let influences make too much power of your decisions. Can be hard but keep focused and do what is right for you as a person.

Just enjoy whatever it is that makes you happy and comfortable. Easy to lose sight so times just jotting ideas down on paper can help you refocus on what is important to you.

Just laugh, when life is a bitch just look at the funny stuff to keep you on track.

 

Parenting is hard at times

Hey readers,

Today I just want to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. I have had a really difficult day looking after a really energetic child. It didn’t help that when walking into town my son decided all he wanted to do was just scream most of the way and chanting that he wants daddy. It is unbelievably exhausting especially as I am so sensitive to hearing because of my autism.

Then in the afternoon I just constantly had to deal with this mental  battle in my head that if I am not entertaining my child 24/7 then somehow I am a rubbish parent. It is a constant battle that occurs in my own head and the sad thing is, is that it is all made by me. No one has told me that I am rubbish, it is just me putting so much pressure on myself, probably some guilt around being autistic and having shortfalls that other parents don’t have to deal with. However, today my anxiety is so high that I am left with a killer headache because I am so tense from my self-inflicted anxiety. I have already had a panic attack and sometimes when so bad I am fearful social services will come and take my child of me simply because I had the TV on to much or I am a bit rubbish at communicating.  It sounds silly writing this down but at the time them fears are real and frightening.

Why is it so hard to find a middle ground, I suppose this is always my problem never really reaching that right balance of moderation. I have always been extreme because that is just simply the way my brain is wired. I am all or nothing, so naturally it would seem down into my parenting. I think because a lot of things is down to not communicating and no ‘rules’ as such I find it difficulty to manage. All the things that I am good at are structure based and have a step-to-step system, it is what I excel at. I am not good at ambiguous. I never have and I don’t think I will ever have the skills no matter how many times I try. SO, basically I need to accept me for who  I am and instead of putting me down, embrace them skills and use them to my advantage,. I think this is one of the biggest learning curves for me as an autistic parent to master.

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But I will say truefully with having such energetic child who will not sit still or does not want to engage in anything longer then five minutes is tough. Especially, when at times where I am by myself and feel like constantly breaking down with fear of how am I going to get past the next three hours?
I hope this stage gets easier and that I can relax and enjoy parenting a bit more and less of a pain in the arse chore that I have to get through.

I feel awful for writing this but this is the truth, this is how I feel at times. Don’t get me wrong other times parenting feels like a breeze especially when there is another parent to help out. But currently with my 3 years old child you it is solid work and really has an ability to have a knack at pushing my buttons.

Cheers for reading X