Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

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We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X


JakiJellz

themumproject

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Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so. 

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else. 

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

 

themumproject


JakiJellz

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Letter to the parents of children starting school 

To the parents of children starting in reception,

I know people get emotional when their child starts school in reception. My child will start year one in September so, I thought I would share with you what I have learnt over the year.

Firstly, I have read a lot about the emotional impact it has on a parent when their child starts school. Let’s be logical here they are not gone forever and this is an exciting new chapter on there life. Some parents sadly don’t ever get to see this opportunity so look on the bright side, at least they are growing healthy and growing into their own little personality.

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They will still love you but they are now that little more independent. I sure for one don’t want my child needing me so intensely.

Most of the time the child will enjoy the new experience. Sometimes, a child may have additional needs or struggle to settle in. but that is ok as the school is there to provide the support.

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Not many people know this but reception is actually classed as nursery. They do not need to pay for time off if you go on holiday. I have spoken to a teacher who has told me this information. So, stand your ground if you want to take your child out for a holiday.
Reception year is more about settling in and adjusting to school life. They will learn to write phonetically (which  is honestly a load of shite but I won’t go into that, as that is a post in itself). They learn to read which is lovely as my son had book each week to practice at home and he loves reading now.

They go on trips which is so much fun as most children love to be like a grown up especially when it is away from the family.

They will explore and learn all about the world, it will help them understand others.

it is also a testing time for a child as they need to learn to get on and share with other children. Some children are more bossy whilst others can be shy. This is life and I believe something good for the child to learn about different types of personality. Using skills are adapting and working out what way would be best to get the result they are searching for.

It will change them but for the good. They will grown as we all do and develop that much further. But don’t worry because they not alone as others are going through the same experience.

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DS1 on his first day at school, happy as Larry!

Cheers for reading X

themumproject


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JakiJellz

National picnic week 

Hey readers,

Apparently I have been told that this week is national picnic week so let’s celebrate this appreciate for all things picnicy!

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Firstly, as a parent picnic’s are a blessing because it means less tiding up for you as you leave the crumbs and check the paper plates in the bin, result!

You can pretend to be all fancy with your paper plates and napkins, there is a sense of sophistication (even if it is paper).

It is a great way to get out of mummy prison and less time having to focus on what the hell you going to do to entertain your child.

Any excuse for some ice-cream – let’s make this a number one priority when having a picnic.

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Picnic food can be finger food, which is my kinda food. It is lovely a spread out where you can take as you please, there is a sense of family and togetherness. You can bond and talk about life *cue sick bucket*.

Nothing says summer like eating out Al fresco in the open.

When your young it feels like an adventure and it is free in the fact that when it is winter and miserable you end up in soft play hell and a hole in your wallet.

It is good to have a change of scenery and doing something different. Parenting can become tedious doing the same thing day in, day out so it gives us parents a change to keep hold of your sanity.

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Eating outside when the sun is shining is a quick way to top up on some Vitamin D, which has some health benefits with helping  your mind feel good.

Technically if the child/ren are outside they are running around during that energy off which means that they should sleep better, *fist pumps*.

Cheers for reading X

 

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PoCoLo

Liberal parenting

Hey readers,

I am writing because I am bit of pissed off. OK, now and again I test my sons listening skills. He’s two sometimes he is co-operative now and then he is not. Learning from my past with my other son who has gradually become more mature and listening. I believe that you have to give them some power in order to gain trust. Maybe because that is how I felt as a child. I have been in all different environments so experienced many different types of parent styles as I have been in care etc so feel gave me broad understanding and experience. I digress so I let my son freely run around the shop, I know bad parent. But learnt to grab his hand and he stayed with me then. But properly best not to have done it in the shop or when I was having crappy day. But what the hell in for a penny. Still I pop to this shop today and got talking to the shop keeper. I took offense when he called them terrors and the fact he said that the boy liked running around the shop. I don’t know maybe I am sensitive but really pisses me off. I was on my own with two kids trying to shop. I am crap at multi-tasking  or maybe I am just a shit mother. But at what point do you give them power. When do they learn?!  Now just going have the lead on him at all times. It makes me sad though cause I believe they have to learn at some point and yeah they are kids. But it worked with my eldest. Slowly little bit at a time he learnt to be more mature and listen. Anyway I am proud of being a liberal parent not full hog but definately swing that way. Though I do believe in some boundaries but giving trust as well. Anyhow I needed to rant. It’s fucking hard making decisions and love gown quick it is for people to comment and make judgement. Like you don’t know what is going on through my head.

Anyway, thank you for reading X

Life with Baby Kicks
Mummy and Monkeys