Quiet is good because…

Hey readers,

The world we live in feels noisy, we have constant buzzing everywhere you look. In some cases it is good to have noise for distraction or entertainment. However, I believe that there is a time for everything and sometimes it is good to be quiet.

Sometimes, when it is quiet you can think more clearer and listen to your internal monologue. You can listen to the thoughts more clearer and given them more order.

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During times of quiet it is a great opportunity of productivity. With no distractions around allows you to focus and concentration on the job in hand. It means a better quality as you main goal is the one thing rather than having lots of noise in your head.

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Being quiet when listening to others is really helpful giving the speaker a chance to express themselves and feeling that they are being heard can make all the difference to the outcome at the end. Even if they have no solutions giving the person that time to communicate without interruptions makes them feel as if something positive has been done and that they are heard.

It is good to be just in the moment and being mindful of everything around you, taking it all  and accepting what life has to offer and taking that time to disconnect.

"The quieter you become the more you can hear.” — Baba

When there is less distractions it gives you the chance to take your environment in. That is why meditation is good because it slows everything right down and allowing you to relax. It is important to focus on the present and slow down. It can help your health when physically or mentally because your are less tense and more in control. There is less  noise which equates to less thinking due to reduction in the information that gets into your brain.

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Even if you do five minutes a day of quite time it can give you the change to slow down and enjoy that moment.

Cheers for reading X

 

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Keep writing 

Hey readers,

People say, ‘just keep writing’  is the mantra to live by. I write my blog on all sorts of things that inspire me, from poetry to the food I love. I am not a niche kind of person, I just go with what inspires me within that moment and share it with the world.

There are days when I completely lost my motivation to continue to write or even log into WordPress. As a suffer from anxiety and depression the simplest things can feel like climbing a mountain and sadly one of them is writing. Even though from a young age have found writing down the better way for me to communicate my emotions, the struggle is there.

But when I write it makes a huge difference to me. The hardest bit is to actually get started, as soon as crack that then my thoughts just flow and I have so many thoughts believe me and you!

Sometimes, I think my writing is rubbish, though I believe that should not stop me from writing as it has purpose.  I do believe it is a good mantra to keep writing, no matter what the length, one sentence or pages of words, it keeps your mind light up and can open up new ideas.  Not to mention the benefit of keeping constantly writing every day can build up your confidence and improve in the skill of writing. We can’t be all natural, but we can practice. Deep down that is ok, because even if no one enjoys my content, I still am getting something out of it, no matter if it is big or small it is helping. There are many other worse things to do in life then ramble of some words (my interpretation of  my work). Of course, I am my hardest critic. However, I am going to remain optimistic because I enjoy ands it helps deal with the shit in my life.

Cheers for reading X

 

Let kids be kids!

Hey readers,

“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.

I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.

What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.

I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.

It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.

My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.

It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.

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We need to  break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.

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I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.

We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.

Cheers for reading X

 

 

School 

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

SCHOOL

because it’s a return of school for my oldest and he is now in year 1. He has been finding going back to school really hard these past couple of days. This is because of the change in the teaching as it is more  focused on learning over play.

 He is not very good with change and he needs things explaining to him. So, as you can imagine he’s not very happy. He has been complaining that he hate school, thinks it’s stupid and wishes he was back in reception again.

I just hope that with time that he can ease back into it and establish a routine.  I think this will help him feel more happier about gong to school.

Today my youngest has returned to nursery for one last year and then he will start school in September.

He on the other hand is super excited to be returning. I am looking forward to getting a better routine and quiet time. It has been lovely having them but it’s nice to have a break from it all.
Cheers for reading X

Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

 

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!