“Aw isn’t she cute” is something I hear a lot when people talk about my youngest. You see he has long blonde hair and apparently people assume that means you’re a girl.
I mean boys cannot possibly look cute or pretty, this is the society we seem to live in and quite frankly it sucks.
What annoys me is why does it bother people so much, why are people asking me why don’t cut his hair? I’m sorry boys are not allowed to have long hair or pig tales or pink no, well f**k you my sons do.
I even have dresses for them and they are not even dress up, like proper dresses from Sainsbury’s and boy that is one way to get a reaction from people.
It is not something I do to get attention. I have social anxiety for crying out loud. I don’t like attention but what I do like is giving my sons the choice to choose what they want and give them opportunities as I would want if I had girls.
My son has a spotty swimsuit for swimming because he wanted to have one because his friend who is a girl had one and he liked it, simple as that.
It is a strange thing this idea to have to dress a boy or girl a detain way. It seem ‘s that if they have a penis then they can’t possibly have a dress or whatever. The same goes for girls wearing blue and trousers.
We need to break down this silly rules, stop dictating us in shops with the two different departments. Let’s allow children to be children and give them the opportunity to choose, this will give better equality for all regardless of their sex.
I don’t want my sons to think they can’t do this or wear that simply because they are a boy. I want them to have the choice because they want to and having that freedom to do so.
We need to break down stereotypes and just accept that it doesn’t matter if a boy wears pink or girl wears blue it doesn’t stop their identity. They are still the same child.
because it’s a return of school for my oldest and he is now in year 1. He has been finding going back to school really hard these past couple of days. This is because of the change in the teaching as it is more focused on learning over play.
He is not very good with change and he needs things explaining to him. So, as you can imagine he’s not very happy. He has been complaining that he hate school, thinks it’s stupid and wishes he was back in reception again.
I just hope that with time that he can ease back into it and establish a routine. I think this will help him feel more happier about gong to school.
Today my youngest has returned to nursery for one last year and then he will start school in September.
He on the other hand is super excited to be returning. I am looking forward to getting a better routine and quiet time. It has been lovely having them but it’s nice to have a break from it all.
Cheers for reading X
We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put up a fight most days, while you hoover in the background.
I try to be a good mother, I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.
I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.
You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.
Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.
I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.
Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.
I know people get emotional when their child starts school in reception. My child will start year one in September so, I thought I would share with you what I have learnt over the year.
Firstly, I have read a lot about the emotional impact it has on a parent when their child starts school. Let’s be logical here they are not gone forever and this is an exciting new chapter on there life. Some parents sadly don’t ever get to see this opportunity so look on the bright side, at least they are growing healthy and growing into their own little personality.
They will still love you but they are now that little more independent. I sure for one don’t want my child needing me so intensely.
Most of the time the child will enjoy the new experience. Sometimes, a child may have additional needs or struggle to settle in. but that is ok as the school is there to provide the support.
Not many people know this but reception is actually classed as nursery. They do not need to pay for time off if you go on holiday. I have spoken to a teacher who has told me this information. So, stand your ground if you want to take your child out for a holiday.
Reception year is more about settling in and adjusting to school life. They will learn to write phonetically (which is honestly a load of shite but I won’t go into that, as that is a post in itself). They learn to read which is lovely as my son had book each week to practice at home and he loves reading now.
They go on trips which is so much fun as most children love to be like a grown up especially when it is away from the family.
They will explore and learn all about the world, it will help them understand others.
it is also a testing time for a child as they need to learn to get on and share with other children. Some children are more bossy whilst others can be shy. This is life and I believe something good for the child to learn about different types of personality. Using skills are adapting and working out what way would be best to get the result they are searching for.
It will change them but for the good. They will grown as we all do and develop that much further. But don’t worry because they not alone as others are going through the same experience.
Apparently I have been told that this week is national picnic week so let’s celebrate this appreciate for all things picnicy!
Firstly, as a parent picnic’s are a blessing because it means less tiding up for you as you leave the crumbs and check the paper plates in the bin, result!
You can pretend to be all fancy with your paper plates and napkins, there is a sense of sophistication (even if it is paper).
It is a great way to get out of mummy prison and less time having to focus on what the hell you going to do to entertain your child.
Any excuse for some ice-cream – let’s make this a number one priority when having a picnic.
Picnic food can be finger food, which is my kinda food. It is lovely a spread out where you can take as you please, there is a sense of family and togetherness. You can bond and talk about life *cue sick bucket*.
Nothing says summer like eating out Al fresco in the open.
When your young it feels like an adventure and it is free in the fact that when it is winter and miserable you end up in soft play hell and a hole in your wallet.
It is good to have a change of scenery and doing something different. Parenting can become tedious doing the same thing day in, day out so it gives us parents a change to keep hold of your sanity.
Eating outside when the sun is shining is a quick way to top up on some Vitamin D, which has some health benefits with helping your mind feel good.
Technically if the child/ren are outside they are running around during that energy off which means that they should sleep better, *fist pumps*.
I hate people, seriously all they ever seems to do is be fake it. Why can’t people be honest and just tell the truth because you think it hurts peoples feelings. But here is the thing I already know so don’t pussy around the subject.
It sucks being autistic, the constant rejection of people, pretending to be nice when really they don’t give two monkeys.
I am sick of it and sick of this world that I live in. It doesn’t help I am stuck in places where people don’t really know where to put me. Let’s face facts first impressions count and no one likes the awkwardness of the autistic people, it is much easier to just deny us the opportunity. Even though us autistic people would so bloody hard, more so then the average person because we have to,i t’s a fight to fit in when your just totally failing on the outside. I feel lost and I don’t belong, this place feels lonely. Sometimes, I just can’t face it anymore but once again you have to find the strength to get back up again even though you are plummeting into a dark, dark place.
It sucks to have to undergo interviews when clearly they are not autistic friendly and again I feel like my needs are met. Don’t you understand us autistic people can’t cope with question after question without getting burnt out, not to mention the social interaction, it takes all our resources to get through it to then be told that actually we are not looking for people at the moment. But why put me through this hell, what you really mean is your not a suitable candidate, just be honest, at least I know where I stand. Right now I feel insulted and taken for a full. It took all my energy to get out my comfort zone and I am devastated. It really does suck because of the effort I but into these things but never get the opportunities, I don’t know why I bother.
Even as an adult I am always dealt with the hand of rejection and you know what people it sucks, big time for us autistic people to be treated like this. I am just thankful for my blog as it is an outlet when other times I can not muster the words to anyone the pain I am battling everyday. Rant over!
I have done this before but I thought what the heck lets do it again. Thank you ThreesyPeasy for nominating me kindly for the Liebster Award. If you do have change check out her blog as it is an honest account of motherhood!
The Liebster Award is given from one blogger to another. The idea is to find out more about new blogs and the bloggers who blog them.
The rules are:
) Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog in your post.
2) Show the award on your blog or in your post.
3) Answer the 11 questions askedhttp://hotpinkwellingtons.co.uk by the person who nominated you.
4) Write 11 random facts about yourself.
5) Nominate 5-11 bloggers that you feel deserve the award.
6) Create a list of new questions for your nominees to answer.
7) Once your blog is published, let your nominees know that they have been nominated and link them to your post for more details.
What do you like to do when you get some ‘me’ time? I enjoy a hot brew, colouring in, reading on the old kindle, calligraphy, blogging (obviously), photography and snail mail.
Favourite thing to do as a family? My eldest loves us as a whole unit together (that is where he is at his most happiest). We enjoy exploring parks, woodland. Sometimes if we are a bit flush with the cash we have a meal out or play games such as Bunny Hope. I highly recommend Bunny Hope as it is perfect when you have two young children at different levels but can play all together and still enjoy it as a family.
Joyous mothering moment? Guilty pleasure here but when you have a new born and it taskes aged to wind the baby. When you finally get that burp that is so loud it is deafening. You feel like your winning at parenting as it has taken ages to do.
Annoying mothering moment? negotiating with a child, nuff said!
What’s the one piece of advice on life you would give to your kids? Be authentic and be you.
Why did you start you blog? Depression, document some bits that I want, fill a void.
What’s been your biggest blogging pet peeve?When linking up a blog and being told which blog to comment on.
What do you love about blogging? Expression, giving you a voice, feeling not so isolated as a parent.
What’s your favourite movie? I have two – Girl, Interrupted or Monty Python and Now For Something Completely Different.
If your life was a movie, what actors would you get to play you? Lena Dunham, Ellen Page or Rachel Search.
Now here are my eleven random facts about myself:
I have green eyes.
I am left handed.
I have a fear of death (well more unknown side of things).
I am a teaholic.
I am addicted to Diet Coke/ Pepsi Max.
I have never broken any bones in my body.
My nanny was a witch and into the whole witch craft side of things.
I get bad anxiety when hubby drives on the motorway (I hate motorways).
One of my favourite programmes is Catchphrase.
I hate the texture of starch from potatoes.
I have an obsession with taken pictures of trees (cheers Instagram).
The Bloggers I nominate for The Liebster Award are:
Hey readers, Last week we went out as a family to our local Christmas market in our city centre. We decided to go in the evening as I think it feels a bit more special with the lights on in the nighttime. There was a big wheel ride that my son was desperate to go on. However, I joined him and naively was not expecting it too go quite so fast! You see I have never been on anything like a ferris wheel before. It is a little nerve racking as it is quite fast and I may have been a bit screamish. These added to my son enjoying it more and finding it ever so hilarious, checky monkey. It also gave us spectacular views across the city and lovely to see a place that you visit regularly from a different point of view. We also looked around of the array of different goodies in the wooden huts but most attractive for both my boys was seeing the light display on the floor where they would dance about, simple pleasures. We also took in all the different Christmas lights. It was a nice to relax and have a wonderful time without feeling like a headless chicken amoungst the Mayhem. However, we did found a Christmas tree which was wonderful with a fuller shape and glittery branches. The tree we brought was something slightly different to what we had before. Even though there are a lot of places with these type of Christmas markets. It was delightful to feel like being part of something especially as it felt family orientated. People were enjoying the music and just generally having a good time so it was good to soak it. It was great to just enjoy the fact that my sons could simply be free to play and have fun. They loved chasing each other through the lights and it was felt good that I could be laidback without the fear of having to get back home for a certain time. It was also a chance to spend together as a family as we are not always together and my son enjoys it when we are together as a unit. Even though it was nothing out of this world it was good fun to spend time together doing simething a little different and create memories.
I don’t know about you but when I reach tipping point I have a habit of crying non-stop until I collapse and fall asleep. This does not happen often as I would very, very, very tired. Crying is so tiring and drains you of all your resources. Somehow I manage to find crying on the other hand very theraputic and a relief just to let all out. This weekend has been intense, long relentless parenting where hubby has hardly been around. Let me honest I find it hellishly difficult when there is no central heating, can’t wash up, so the place is cold. It is a mess with everything everywhere due to diy and the sense of no order has gone. I relay on order and routine a lot to help me get through the days. There had been several nights now where the boys have gone to bed really late and it just feels long, hard,challenging and emotional. I feel suffocated and it really has an effect on me. I feel shameful for feeling this way like I want to be a really good mother but fail terrible. One could argue that life is not perfect and that the journey is bumpy before we reach our destination. I love my boys but I also need my space for my wellbeing too. I think it is important to look after your own needs and be selfish sometimes. I am my own worst enemy as I keep seeing wonderful things everywhere but I have little motivation, I am tired and it drags me down. However, I cry I can feel a sense of calmness that clears my head and helps make way for logical and practical thinking. I can challenge my murky dark thoughts and recognise that this is a short period and it will pass and maybe feel more confident as a mother. I used to think crying was awful failure and that I was just stupid and pathetic. But now part of me loves that cleansing process and feels like my body wants to restore equilibrium even when I feel broken.
That is what I love about nature is that some how we find a way to get out of the shit though it is not always the right way we get there hopefully and one day we look back and thing it is not as bad as we thought.