Defeated

Hey readers,

I have depression, however, I can still function fairly well most of the time. This week though I have suffered a knock back which has been hard to even get out of the bed to function. I wanted to hide because I just didn’t have the energy to fight. The only time I got up was for my children otherwise I felt numb and worthless.

Everything feels like a chore, having to find the motivation to continue was so hard it felt like a mental workout. My body aches because it has taken a battering from my mental torture inside my mind. I am frustrated because I fool myself that I am better when all I do is mask and try to continue.

I suppose with uncertainty my anxiety flares up making me hyper-alert to emotions and always on the lookout because I am not in control. I feel powerless and scared. I hate to think about my future because it saddens me.

My anxiety seeps into my dreams and I relive some painful memories. I don’t like it, I smashed all my stuff on my bedside cabinet not realising until I was awake to find the destruction.

People don’t realise how hard work it is. I know to change the record but it is true, you can’t escape your own mind, there is nowhere to run and feel safe. You have to get through it. It is one of the toughest things I have to do, living is hard work when you feel like a pile crap. I am consciously aware of how I feel. It is exhausting because I am battling my inner monologue.

Sometimes I want to give up a bit I don’t because I would never dream of doing that to my children. They are the only things keeping me going at the moment. I know it just an episode where I feel this crap and I know it will pass. it is just getting through this bad storm to see the other side. during this dark time, it is hard to believe that light will appear because it feels like never-ending.

I think one of the triggers is feeling threatened and not been heard. I feel the injustice and the accusation that has been flowing around. It sucks and hurts. Fear that what I need won’t be there and the fight for getting what I deserve is tough going. It wouldn’t have been so bad had it not been the situation encouraging the event to then turn the other way.

It is hard trying to fight and price something when really the person should open their eyes, but of course, money talks and who cares about being honest when really it all boils down to the number game, f*uck the individual.

I just feel so angered by life and just trying to prove my point. I just got to keep reminding myself it will pass and take one day at a time.

Cheers for reading. X

3 Little Buttons

Anxiety

Hey readers,

As a long-term sufferer from anxiety, I have learned a lot on the way from experiencing anxiety. For one thing, anxiety is the pits! At times when feeling anxious, it feels very real especially when your heart is pounding so hard you feel that it may feel out of your body.

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Over the years anxiety scared me ironically. I wanted to run away and try to hide from it but if you have ever suffered from anxiety then it will find you and you will be sure made aware of it. If anything running away from the anxiety actually makes it worse in my opinion and the experience I have had of anxiety.

person holding white printer paper

Over the years I have come to one conclusion with anxiety is to accept it for what it is. Ok, it is a regular visitor but it is definitely not a friend because it is not very nice. But accepting it and feeling the feelings is ok, it doesn’t make me a failure, which I believed for a very long time.

Accepting the anxiety and knowing that the anxious thoughts are not always true and sometimes my behaviour is just learned from all the years of fear. It is a warped way of protecting myself. Now I embrace it, I allow it to come. If I have a panic attack or breakdown in tears I let it come. It is ok and actually, it is so much more manageable than before. This mindset has helped. Likewise, with feelings of failure, I know that anxiety is something that may be with me all my life but it doesn’t mean I am weak or I give in. I accept it and work with it the best I can at that time.

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You have to ride with the anxiety like the waves of the sea. Sometimes I experience anxiety and it can be only a day where I am cribbled with intense dread. Other times I go through periods of total exhaustion, tearfulness, panic attacks etc. That is ok. It is ok not to be ok. It is ok not to be superhuman and it is ok to have anxiety. It doesn’t make me less of a person. I am not anxiety, anxiety is part of me but there are many more layers to me.

I am still learning about my mental health, it is not easy especially when you are vulnerable and prone to the negativity it can catch you out, anxiety is a bugger like that.  But I am with wisdom moving on with anxiety, if it is there it is there but I am not going to run away from it or be scared of it anymore. I think this is one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned in life. I am not superhuman but I can feel and appreciate the feelings. They belong to me and I can respond to them any way I chose. It is my life and the anxiety does not control me, I am the controller of anxiety.

Cheers for reading X

How to find a psychiatrist online?

Hey readers,

Mental health affects 1 in every 4 people in the UK each year. So it is a big thing and something that is more common then you make think. Therapy is one way of trying to solve or manage your mental health. We may not always have the opportunity to get the right service but you can now with online psychological services. The world is literally your oyster.

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Did you know you could speak to a psychiatrist online? well in this modern day and age yes you can because not everyone can seek professional help face to face or even want to. That is the beauty with technology is that there are more opportunities to seek help, however, do be careful as always there will be charlatans.

Better Help offers a review service before going to seek the type of therapy that you are after because it is important to get the right help you deserve. The good thing with Betterhelp is that they are legit and have been checked and confirmed to be the real deal. Betterhelp is that it offers a variety of therapy so, therefore, more chance of getting successful help tailed for you and your issues. Getting the help can really be beneficial for you and your life and you are getting more out of life due to the effects of therapy improving your mental health.

The sad thing with waiting for therapy on the NHS is that you have to wait and you might not get the right therapy for you. The convenience of going online and accessing therapy fast will have huge benefits for you as you are taking action and doing some positive in turn making you feel better about yourself.

Seeking help online has benefits of being flexible for seeing a therapist and also more choice in the therapy that is on offer. Unlike traditional therapy where you have to see someone face to face and in your area where you live. There are more avenues with the availability and there is the option of anonymity giving you the sense of feeling that you can be more open if you are not that confident.

If you want to read more about finding an online psychologist you can click here to an article on the subject.

Cheers for reading X

This post is sponsored by Betterhelp. However, all opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

Things to do when you are having a bad day.

Hey readers,

From time to time we all have bad days and that is ok. I have compiled some ways to help you when you are having a bad day. These tips are been successful for may so it is not just empty words.

Breathing exercises.

A way to help destress is to try out the breathing exercises and making sure you use deep breathes and use your lungs properly. Doing this exercises helps slow down you breathing and can be really therapeutic to just stop and focus on your breathing. Youtube is a brilliant source of visual aids to run through the step-to-step guide to do deep breathing.

Meditation.

Meditation is so useful to help calm you down, give you something to think about other than the negative feelings that you hold. It helps distract you and give you something to focus on that can help make you feel calmer and relaxed.

Hot bath

There is something about having a hot bath that really calms me down. I feel my muscles after been tense all day to soak them in hot water really beneficial. I just love after feeling really relaxed and putting on really soft PJs helps me chill out

Watch a film.

A brilliant way to escape is with a film and getting a nice throw to settle down. It is a great way to switch off because often I am feeling exhausted after a bad so relaxing with a film is a great way to unwind.

Unplug.

The internet is addictive, it has its positives with having a wealth of information, interactions and entertainment. The downfall is it can lead to obsessions or transfixion and makes you feel rubbish. This is not great when you already feeling pants. I find just turning my phone off for an hour or two really helps me just switch off and allows me that time to think by myself.

Feel it.

Sometimes, when you are feeling bad instead of running away from the emotions, it is just good to be mindful even though it can be challenging. It is ok to have them negatives feelings, it is ok to cry and be angry. It is much better to have it there rather than trying to block it out or go into denial. Feeling them emotions is more practical and it may take less time to have to own them. When you explore them emotions it allows you to understand and accept what is happening to you.

Blame game.

I know it is so easy to find anyone other than yourself to pass the blame on to and ok sometimes it may be another person’s fault. But that doesn’t mean that we have to hold on to that anger, it just causes negativity and by letting it go gives back that freedom to move forward.

What things do you do to help when having a bad day?

Cheers for reading X

Online Psychologists the real deal?

Hey readers,

We live in a technological age where you can practically get anything online from clothing to hayfever tablets to even psychological therapy.

When thinking about receiving psychological services online can you really trust them? How do you know that what the psychologist says is legit and save to do online?

Computer, Pc, Workplace, Home Office

Of course, like anything in life, there will always be some bad apples out of the bunch of potential good apples. However, that does not mean to say that online therapy is all bad. There have been many success stories from people who have received online therapy and it has really helped improve their life.

There are checks to see what qualifications a psychologist has obtained, meaning that they are above board and valid. They have had the correct training to give out to a client and that they are safe to do so. You can check to see if the psychologist is legit by visiting The British Psychological Society  This website allows you to search a database of registered online psychologists and what they have trained in. You can see where they are based and what kind of therapy they offer plus how much each session costs.

Alternatively, if you’re not sure about an online company or online services then there is also another brilliant website where you can check the validity of the website called Scam guard. It is a site where you can see all the complaints given to that company and this will be an indication whether they are worth checking out or not.

A lot of people have really found online therapy beneficial especially if they can’t leave the house or with the overstretched NHS mental health waiting lists. Online therapy gives a person a chance to speak to a professional trained in talking about your issues. Online therapy can give that confidence to improve your situation, you are in control and if at all you do not like the therapy that you are receiving you can say no and end it.

The beauty of therapy online is that it is flexible with time. We are not just tied down to the local therapy that is on offer locally to use that has to be fitted in the traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday slots. The therapy that is offered online can be at any time with the options of evenings and at weekends, for example, therefore giving you the individual more choice and flexibility to fit around your lifestyle. Not only is the times flexible for getting therapy but also the choice of counselor and the type of therapy you want. You have more choice with online psychologists, therefore, you don’t feel you have to do something just because it is one option. You can take your time and find the right therapy for you.

Here is a good read that explains more about psychologists online.

Cheers for reading X

This is a sponsored post for BetterHelp, however, all opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

Ways to improve your mental health

Hey readers,

I have spent a large proportion of my life living and battling mental health problems. I have experienced anxiety, depression, and OCD. So, I for one know how hard it is to manage and get on with living your life when you have hurdles to overcome. Here are some of the ways in which I try to help myself with improving my mental health and they may be useful for you too if you struggle.

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Learn to be kinder to yourself. 

This one is an ongoing problem that I struggle with, it is too put yourself down when you have learned to over time. It is easy to batter yourself with the negativity especially when you’re dealing with trauma. That said one of the ways you can do something positive in your life is to learn to be kinder to yourself. I bet if the situation was turned to a loved one would you speak to them the way you do to yourself. Changes are no so looking at the good, praise your achievement even if it is small. You can change behavior though it takes time but needs to be practicing to do so.

Take time out.

One of the best things for me when I am struggling is having time out to myself to have a breather and stop. For me, I like to get my headphones on and walk. It makes me switch off and just go somewhere else other than the situation I am in.

Set realistic goals. 

Goals are brilliant – they help give focus and something to aim for. However, the one thing that can occur for people is making goals that are too unrealistic and less likely over time to stay focused and achieve. So, when you do consider making goals have a big goal but then make micro goals to help along the way to achieve that big goal. Another thing to take on board to reward yourself with something when you have reached the small goals. This will make you feel good and make you want to continue to the next level of achieving that goal.

See the positives. 

As a person who sees the world with an empty cup of water, it can be so hard to see the positives sometimes you got to wing it until you make it. What I mean by that statement is that you have to force to see the positives, write them down and find something even if it is getting out of the bed in the morning, that is progress. Habits are hard to break so get into forcing yourself to write down three positives a day, over time this will become easier to do.

Break up the monotony. 

Life can be boring at times so that why it is important to do something now again that breaks that samey samey up, you don’t have to spend a fortune you could go to the local park and have a picnic. It is refreshing to do something different now and again, it allows you to look forward to that day.

What things have helped improve your mental health?

Cheers for reading X

How do I find a therapist near me

Hey readers,

If you have read my blog before then you will know that I have suffered from mental health problems for a large portion of my life and have had several different types of therapists in my time.

If you are in need of a therapist to explore ways of managing your mental health issues or just talking to someone where do you look for one?

Finding a therpist1

Well first of you could ask your GP for a referral for some kind of talking therapy. However, in this day age, it can be a long waiting period depending on the severity of your mental health problems sadly. In the past, I have waited for two years to seek help and during the time my mental health has deteriorated.

There are community mental health nurses who can see you are a regular basis and can deal with a more practical side of things such helping with benefits, accessing services, housing etc. CPNs are primarily there to provide support for people with mental health problems adjust to living life in the community. You will need a referral from your GP to access a CPN. Alternatively, there is a service called IAPTS (improving access to psychological therapies) run by the NHS and they can provide CBT for mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Normally you can also self-refer. However, this service is not available everywhere so you will have to check that it is available in your area.

If you can afford seeking private then the world is your oyster quite frankly. One place that you may want to look at this article Betterhelp that is a clear and concise in-depth information on where to go to find a therapist.

When thinking about seeking a therapist you have to understand that there are several different types of therapy and some conditions respond better to the type of therapy that is offered.

So, for instance, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) deals with current issues and doesn’t look at the past or childhood. Its main focus is problems that are present now and working with thoughts and behaviors to change the way you’re responding to the situation, This is great for anxiety, OCD, eating disorders for example. It is about changing one behavior for a positive behavior and it is short term. Normally courses last six to twelve weeks and it is a very practical way of seeing fast results.

However, if you have experienced trauma such as rape, abuse then I think therapy that is more exploring feelings and talking openly to someone in a confidential setting may be more suited because not about changing opening up and allowing them emotions to come to the surface.

Therapists can also be online and you can use Skye which is a modern practical way of communicating and seeking therapy. Depending on what you are looking for this option allows you to have more choice in the variety available rather than just having what is available within the area that you live in.

Also, if you are searching for a therapist in the private sector make sure that they have the right established qualifications to work with people who have mental health conditions. They need to have the right accreditation to work in mental health and giving therapy. Each type of therapy has a set of qualifications that a therapist needs, this is to show that the therapist has had the correct training to carry out the therapy on people.  It is good practice for therapists to be signed up with The British Psychological Society  and this allows you the general public can go to the BPS and ask what qualifications the therapist has and the training that they have undertaken.

Hope you find this information useful.

Thank you for reading.

This is a sponsored post for Betterhelp. However, all opinions expressed are entirely my own.