Some days are really crap, you wonder how you are going to get through them especially when it is only 9:30 on the morning.
I am so tearful because I have reduced one set of medication. I know it is only a side effect and will be worth the pain in the long run. But right now it is a struggle especially when I am so needed during the summer holiday.
I am not very good when people demand me for long periods of time. For me being autistic it is mentally draining and a real battle. I need to switch off and sometimes I just need escape to my bedroom for some peace for five.
I feel a bit suffocated as well being in a flat and the weather being rubbish. I just haven’t got the motivation to anything when I am so tired.
I feel so guilty for feeling tired when I should be on the ball but sometimes I question My ability to parent such as today. I know this is just short lived and because I am frustrated, that being said I have to battle with this thoughts.
I feel pulled into two ways to right my personal feelings as one side of me thinks I am being silly. The other side feels it is cathartic and may help someone.
It is amazing how powerful words on and just writing down your thoughts can really help even if there is no solution. It is a bit like therapy and that is one of the reasons why I love to blog. As in real life I am rubbish at expressing myself to others. Words seem to get mangled up and I stutter and shut down. Again this is influenced by my autism.
So, that is why I turn to my blog as a place of comfort and release of emotions. I don’t feel judged and it is a place where I can freely right without having to worry about all the other social aspects involved when speaking verbally.
Cheers for reading X
You can learn a lot about cats about how to live a more relaxed life. I hate being human sometimes, I just doubt everything in my tiny little mind. I dread Friday is the worst, it is like I have had a whole week to beat myself up on not being good enough.
Why do ‘some’ of us torture ourselves, we think we are weak when really we must be strong to get through this personal torment. There are days when all I would love to do is sit back in my hammock and just forget everything. I know, I know I think too much, that is always been my downfall. I am just so glad for summer holidays, I am exhausted from worrying about not being good enough parent.
I hate failure, we all fear it but if asked what is success, I wouldn’t be able to tell you so how can I fail if I don’t know what the alternative is?!
Life is much simpler being a cat, all you need to worry about is the small stuff like finding a place that is warm and sunshine touching your fur. How amazing would that be to have to care in the world. Maybe I should ask my husband because he is an expert in it.
Being a cat has so many benefits such as, getting rent free, being able to sleep as much as you want and have the freedom to roam about and piss on your territory . I would definitely be up for that, haha. Even if people annoy you, you cats can walk away and not give a damn, that must be so liberating not caring what other people think. There is no drama about being fat and what worrying about how people view you, you just prance about in your fur all day, look great with no effort whatsoever.
Told you cats have it great, we can learn a thing or too.
I now leave you on a final quote:
Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.
Cheers for reading X
I know when you hear the word selfish it dipicts a negative picture but I want to share with you today why it is actually good for you SOMETIMES to be selfish.
Firstly, because you are listening to your needs and not others. Sometimes, we need to say I want this because I need it for my saniety.
It gives you assertiveness and feeling of comfortability to talk about your feelings to others. It is healthier because of not ignoring your needs and doing something about it can help you feel good. Asking for something should not be shamed upon, asking for help is ok, for me asking for timeout is important. It calms me down and others so in the long run everyone is winning.
You are listening to your needs and doing something constructive about it. As long as you are polite then I think it is ok to say look I need this for me becuase of XYZ.
You will help build your self-awareness skills in opening up to what you need. It will help increase your self-worth because you are being constructive and doing something to help you feel better.
It could mean better relationships because you are finding a solution to a problem, for example if you cook a lot and say to a housemate I need one a day a week off and you need to do the meal for us instead. Even though they might object it gives you the change to discuss issues and talk about how you are feeling. There is less anger and being open will be benefit making the situation more harmonious compared to if you sat on it and didn’t raise your issues. At least then this could mean something productive has helped and lead to more positive relationships without any negative impact because you have talked about the situation
Cheers for reading X
Could you imagine being without the internet….no me neither *sweating profusely at the thought*. The internet is my dear friend and it has helped me so much just as a parent which I would be at a total loss without it. I have made a list of the reasons why I am thankful for having such an amazing tool.
- The internet is where you can find advice and talk with like minded people and generally just feel a sense of solidarity. Whether that be topics depression, parenthood etc where in face-to-face be really difficult to talk to you can relax with a cuppa in a relaxed environment and talk openly with people in a similar situation.
- The social media offers a variety of platforms such as blogging allowing you to meet others with similar interests and gain valuable knowledge, find a sense of identity and learn about yourself and the topics your interested in.
- The internet can be a fun way to get information on a whole host of topics and it is so easy to access 24/7.
- The internet lets you meet people from all around the world regardless of distance, money etc. It also provides a wider learning experience as your not limited to what you know but learn about different cultures,opinions and perspectives.
- When buying products you can enquire and get information about your purchases. What with more reviews and feedback from consumers this has helped give a bigger picture of weighing up whether to buy an item or not. The net also gives you the opportunities to explore different avenues giving you more of a consumer choice. This would not have been possible years ago as pre internet you would be stuck with the shops you could access. Now in this modern day you have more choice.
- Research has shown that internet therapy has helped the reduction of onset post-natal depression as you can talk about your experiences leaving you feel less isolatied. Not only that meeting other parents can be a motivator and help make you feel better in your mood. Even if it just learning about other people’s experiences or knowing that you are not alone with having negative feelings and knowing that others have manned their depression can make you feel better.
- Opportunities can arise though the interest such as open university degrees, meetig new people or gaining aspirations to name a few can be down to logging on the internet and connecting to the online community.
Yeah it’s Friday and me and hubby planned to take the boys on a trip to the choo choo train station (steam). Ok so the day arrived and bear in my mind this week has been a bit mental with appointments, Easter half term and the potential prospect of moving to a bigger property with a real garden all added on to the mix. My exhaustion levels have been really high as a result along with the flat being a mess with hubby doing D.I.Y. GRRR, mess everywhere. I drift anyhow halfway on trip hubby says look up timetables on phone, so I do only to find out that it is completely closed on all the stations. How infuriating and cross with myself with being such a Wolly and not being organised. Even after three years I still have not learnt the lesson of parenthood organisation. Anyway, cut a story short still had a lovely day out in Brewdley got to eat chips, check out local museum and gave an ice cream so for me as mummy that is a result. So, the lesson learnt is every cloud has a silver lining and you no what shit happens but the good outweighs the bad. So don’t be to hard on you yourself if your plans go skew wiff life generally follows that order and sorts it self out somehow.
Have a lovely weekend and let’s hope that sun stays out a but longer X