My boy of late…

Hey readers,

I have a confession to make, today was hard day for me mentally, not only am I dealing with my  own issues but also them of  my son’s. Today he had a major meltdown which left us at breaking point. Not just for me I think, but actually for my husband as well. My husband is normally chilled out and causal about stuff so, it must be pretty bad when he is worried about how he will not only mange  with his wife’s autism (he is my carer as well) but potentially his son’s.

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I am currently sat in the other room because I really can’t cope at this point with my son’s screaming for over an hour.

We went to visit a butterfly farm locally to us, today, the butterflies are in a massive green house room and can freely flutter by. Here is where the problem lies, my son had a meltdown at this place because he could not cope with the butterflies random movement (which  I struggle also struggle with) but had taken medication to physical effects of anxiety).  He is 5 years old and is an independent walker however, my husband had to carry him around as the only place where he was calm after the heightened anxiety was where the butterflies were not in one of the other areas. The moment he stepped back into the arena where all the butterflies were that was it again, he just could not cope with it and was panic attack.

All afternoon he has been on a roller-coaster of emotions. But finally he has settled to just streaming and I mean screaming. He literally has to be restraint because of how violent his behaviour has become. He is biting, scratching, hitting, and lashing out and potentially harming our youngest.

Now,  I have been on a parenting course where it is frowned upon restraining children. I am very conscious of this. I do not do it under any circumstances but when it is a situation where risk involved and the child is hurting themselves and no other way can help that child stay calm then is not much left we could of done.

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Now you are wondering have we been to the professionals to discuss our concerns and the answer is yes, several times. Let me tell you the background, firstly he started school this September so we approached the school to see what his behaviour was like and to ask for guidance. They did observe but didn’t feel any worries. So, we went to our GP, he said to speak to the specialist person. SO we did and filled out our worries on paper, then they would investigate. That was fine, they came back to us I think within the month saying that they have taken on board our concerns but because his behaviour is not affecting him at school that they can not really do anything. However, they did say that come back in a year and see what is behaviour is like and see if any behaviour changes have occurred.

Well that is great help because as most of us know generally children are totally different when they are school, it is a different environment etc. I asked my cpn (community psychiatric nurse) who see’s me for my mental health what his advice is because he may have had experience and what he thinks we should do.

He said that the only path at the moment is through the school or GP. So because my son’s behaviour is masked (because I know for one he copies a lot of behaviour, he is very similar to me. I kid you not my husband always says that talking to him is like talking to me).

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So, basically there is no other avenue, because apparently if the child is perfectly well behaved then the child will go through the net but if the child is extreme then they will get the help they deserve. Bearing in mind that these teachers are looking after 30 odd children so they can’t spend long periods of time with them individually. It is just so frustrating right now because we just don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure no seems to care if your not extreme. They see the whole picture and that is what really sucks.

I am writing this so that I can document my journey with my eldest, who knows where we will end up but his behaviour is erratic and there is genuine concern there.

Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


The Tale of Mummyhood

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

Things I would like to change

Hey readers,

I love my blog as it is place where I can track my thoughts and a way to express any worries I may have. Some things recently I would like to change to help make me life little easier.

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Recently I have been struggling with tiredness. It normally occurs around the end of the week and think that it is just because that it is a knock on effect of all the week has on me. I get tired anyway because of how much energy it takes to deal with my autism difficulties. I think just being kind of and not so demanding on myself. Taking it slower is better for me and my health and that is what I want to achieve. I am a firm believer in taking small steps or else it can be risky to lose motivation if I push myself too hard.

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I also want to try to be more experimental in the kitchen and try new recipes to help with getting more confident or at least giving hubby a break from the wonderful cooking he does. However, I do love trying new recipes, even if it is just once a week, it really does help with my confidence and esteem when I achieve good results.

Because of my tiredness and anxiety I dip in motivation to go out and about. I am hoping with my YouTube and the lighter days get more encouragement to go out. The thing is when I am out I feel good but my downfall is getting past the first step.

I know so cliché but someone with an anxiety condition it has to be to try not to worry so much. I panic about my parenting and how good I am. Sometimes, just accepting situation can reduce that great big weight of my shoulders.

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Cheers for reading X

Ftmob – 18/01/2016

Hey readers,

Well it has been mentally busy in my household since the return of normality and nursery. So doing my bestest to keep on track of the commentary of my boys. So here goes:


1) My eldest loves poo (I know  lovely yeah) and loves talking about it (double yeah). He has even got his own catchphrase of, “poo poo in my brain, brain in my bottom”. Yes very interesting, very social approiate and loves telling everyone about it!

2) Since my youngest started nursery he has been so good at copying sounds and words. He can do most alphabet letters and saying ‘please’ for anything. 

3) My eldest has informed me of what he wants to be when he is older. ” I want to be an Astronaut, fireman, policeman, hairdresser, builder and a pulmer”. Son you haven’t mentioned superman 😉

4) In the lift talking to one of my neighbours my eldest very protectively said, ” this is my little brother, we go to nursery and we both love it”. Which is ever so cute and protective of him, makes up for the times when they are at each others throats. 

5) I was talking to my eldest the other day and he informed me that, “mummy I need black shoes for my new school (starting September) as these trainers are now old and boring”. Haha he makes me laugh so much.

Thanks for reading X 


Little Hearts, Big Love

Signs that my child does not need the pushchair

Hey readers,

My youngest is currently between the transition of coming out the pushchair and walking. He is really good at walking. He is advantaged compared to my eldest who was nearly three and a half when we decided to boot him out (lazy monkey). So I have wrote down a list of observations of signs that my youngest was ready to say goodbye to the pushchair and start exploring the world further with his feet.

  1. I suppose the most obvious sign that my son wants to come out of the chair. He is  crying non-stop when going round shops. Looking very sorry for himself especially when he sees other children walking around and he is there stuck in his pushchair.
  2. Trying to get out of the pushchair by pushing his body forward and desperately holding on to you to get out.
  3. Altertively he is crying and wanting you to be aware that he is touching the button on the pushchair. This button is the catch to open up the straps. This is another sign that he wants  to be unbuttoned from the chair to be free to do what he wants to do.
  4. Has a massive meltdown before going out as he knows he is entering the chair. He will do anything to not be put back into the buggy. Every time you try to place him in the chair he will shuffle  or drop to the floor in protest.
  5. Generally has no interest in the pushchair, he is really good at walking. Not only that he loves beening free to roam. Not to mention the fact that now that he is at nursery his listening skills are so much better. This makes my life easier and enjoyable when we do go out that I am not too stressed to go out. 
Please bare in my mind this is my own experience and that every child has different developments and lifestyles. 



Cheers for reading X
You Baby Me Mummy
A Cornish Mum

Binky Linky

Reasons to love soft play

Hey readers, 

 Now I am not particular fan of soft play areas but I will venture out to one for my boys. When your a child they are magical places and fun let’s not forget. I will go out of my comfort zone to make my boys happy, not all the time but quite often even if I dread and sweat over it. Because let’s face nothing beats making out children happy. So I thought as I am a bit jolly having a drink *ahem* I would write some positive points about soft play and qreminder of why it is good to out to the daughting places.

  • You can get a hot drink wht they around like crazy lunatics.  I don’t often get the chance so as my boys get lost in all this newness and adventure with the hub I can chilax sipping away at my tea.
  • The little darlings get knackered out therefore a great way to get rid of all that pent up energy.
  • You can guarantee they will sleep through the night after a two hour full on session running around like Bolt! Your instantly winning at a stress free evening and a quite one to boot.
  • It is great place to go when it is raining as let’s face it staying in can be hard to entertain when they are little and so energetic.
  • It can help your child socialise, communicate and take it in turns with playing with the equipment. They will also use their working out skills, not to mention co-ordination with climbing up the padded walls, swinging from rings and kicking a football about. 
  • A change of scenery for your child and play area can help stimulate and be engagi g. Such as soft ball pit, slides, rope bridge. 
  • As it is child friendly you don’t have to worry about the noise your child makes and know that it is a safe environment to take your child.
  • It’s a physical activity to help get them active and use their bodies.
  • As it is unstructed it allows your child to be free and use their creative skills and imagination. Which is all very good for their development. 
  • It allows children to take risks and build their confidence in a newish environment. Inturn gives them confidence in themselves to be more expressive.
  • Mostly my children love soft play and get enjoyment in going as it is great fun for them.  

Cheers for reading X 

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Selection of chat with the boys

Hey readers,

Gathered up a selection of the finest chat with the toddlers, haha. Here goes:-

  • My son running around like a helicopter pretending and saying ’emergency, emergency, crash’. You can imagine it arms out doing this down isles, parks anywhere really. You got love kids imagination!
  • I ask my eldest how old will he be when he has his birthday? ‘Mummy I will be four next’ so cute and so proud to inform me that, bless.
  • My eldest informs me with such urgency, ‘mummy, my shoes don’t fit anymore and i need to get my feet measured as they are way too big’. Now I shall inform you that he made this decision when he overheard me talking to daddy and discussing the fact that  we need to get the boys feet measured soon.
  • I asked my eldest what he wants to do  for the day and he responded by saying that he ‘wants to go on a bouncealine’. Got to love the made up words kids create.
  • My youngest son can now say a handful of words which include ballon, me please, book, shoes. Today was the first time he waved and said goodbye.
  • My youngest is also in between babble and chat and loves making sounds. He has a geko cuddly toy and learnt from his older brother the sound of a dinosaur. He now is fixated with making this sound a lot which is ever so cute as it is such a gentle noice.
  • My eldest has learnt the word YouTube and asks if he can a video on YouTube all nthe time. must be a very popular word for tots or I am a very bad parent, haha.
  • My son spontaneously told me speed bumps go up and down and demonstrated with jumping up and down like a kangaroo.
  • My youngest son pushes his play pushchair into living room and I followed him behind and my son turns around and says stop with his hand out, checky monkey!
I do love this stage of childhood it really makes me laugh and surprises me how much little ones take in, genius!
Cheers for reading X
Little Hearts, Big Love