As we are vastly approaching Christmas in three sleeps time (eek) I thought I would get a Christmas post done.
Now I be honest I do find this time of year the hardest as I have disability which impacts me mentally especially when it involves socialising. But like everything in life I believe there is something good. So here is my take on the things I love at Christmas time.
- I love soft lighting and seeing all the decorations in the evening. I find it peaceful to look at as most are soft and subtle and not too darish.
- Candles and dark nights with getting cost on the couch. I know this is bit whatever but I do appreciate these times. It is a time for me to slow down and relax.
- I enjoy Christmas movies (well more movies at Christmas time then actual Christmas movies). But again it is a time to slow down especially when it is dark and from outside and cuddle up under throws with my boys.
- The feeling after I have done the mammoth task of all the ‘social stuff’ thrn can I truely relax. I am not that anti-social but it is really stressful for me to see people I don’t see often and deal with all the niceties. Plus I have to be careful with what I say as I can sometimes not be sensitive and have to put this filter on me. Which is so dame hard under the pressure. That it is nice when I can close the doors and enjoy Christmas with the people I can about the most and not be paranoid every two seconds.
- I can be indulgent and not have to worry about the diet until afterwards. I can have some treats without stressing out about it. I have learnt to just do the things I like to do which Includes going for a walk on Christmas day.
Why do I feel guilty if I wrote anything that is not happy or jolly and meeting perfection. Life is not like and defiantly not in my autistic world. But I am going write it down for you to read and understand an adult autistic person.
Argh, this week gearing up to Christmas is so dame hard with the changes and chaos making me feel disorientated. I forget how mentally exhausting it is and all I want to so is slip in my bed and hide away. All I can hear is noise and light, I love light but soft lighting not the blurring ones. Everywhere I go makes makes my head spin so much I think I am falling everywhere. The meltdowns are increasing and it is getting me right down. I have to put a smile on my face and focus on my children but so hard with all these social rules and fakery.
My husband is the type to follow the social rule to the T and worries a lot about what people think and how we should behave. It is so frustrating trying to live in a Nt world and feel so confused.
This time of year is the hardest, I know very cliché but it is true. We still have only nine days but I will be glad when I can cloe the door from the world and just have to worry about what crap is on TV.
I just wish things could slow down a bit and not be so bright and touchy touchy. I wish people weren’t rushing around and times changing and my routine out of sync.
Cheers for reading X
Last week we went out as a family to our local Christmas market in our city centre. We decided to go in the evening as I think it feels a bit more special with the lights on in the nighttime.
There was a big wheel ride that my son was desperate to go on. However, I joined him and naively was not expecting it too go quite so fast! You see I have never been on anything like a ferris wheel before. It is a little nerve racking as it is quite fast and I may have been a bit screamish. These added to my son enjoying it more and finding it ever so hilarious, checky monkey. It also gave us spectacular views across the city and lovely to see a place that you visit regularly from a different point of view.
We also looked around of the array of different goodies in the wooden huts but most attractive for both my boys was seeing the light display on the floor where they would dance about, simple pleasures.
We also took in all the different Christmas lights. It was a nice to relax and have a wonderful time without feeling like a headless chicken amoungst the Mayhem.
However, we did found a Christmas tree which was wonderful with a fuller shape and glittery branches. The tree we brought was something slightly different to what we had before.
Even though there are a lot of places with these type of Christmas markets. It was delightful to feel like being part of something especially as it felt family orientated. People were enjoying the music and just generally having a good time so it was good to soak it. It was great to just enjoy the fact that my sons could simply be free to play and have fun. They loved chasing each other through the lights and it was felt good that I could be laidback without the fear of having to get back home for a certain time. It was also a chance to spend together as a family as we are not always together and my son enjoys it when we are together as a unit. Even though it was nothing out of this world it was good fun to spend time together doing simething a little different and create memories.
Thank you for reading X