Why it’s good to cry

Hey readers,

I really struggle with my emotions at the best of times but there is one thing that I always fin helpful when dealing with my emotions and that is to cry.

crying

Before,  I used to hate it, as I felt so weak and a useless lump. However, my mindset has shifted as I got older and I came to the firm conclusion that I do enjoy a good old cry. It might not come to any solutions on how to deal with the problem but the feeling of when you cry feels like a cleaning of my motions, which I think is good for me mentally.

A lot of the time when I cry it occurs when I have had a build up of all the frustration and believe me and you I  get frustrated A LOT. I am autistic and struggle with seeing the world through a non-autistic way,  therefore I fee at times really angry and sad. That is why it is also important for me to find an outlet to get them feelings out in the open so they don’t get so overwhelming and interfere with my life too much.

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Therefore, I appreciate it when I cry, it is my body and mind telling me to let go, just let it all out and to me it feels like all the tension floating away. The after feeling of crying is what I enjoy the most, that transition where I can think clearer. I might not have any power to sort out a problem, nevertheless it helps make me think a bit more logically.

I see crying as a healthy way to manage my emotional response to a problem. we all cry  whether we admit to it or not. We should celebrate crying more and view crying as a natural reaction to situations when we feel sad.

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Research has highlighted that crying actually has a chemical response in the fact that we reduce our manganese levels. It has been found that when we cry the mineral manganese affect our mood and it is 30 times greater concentrated in tears then in the blood serum.

Crying gives us more control as we are actually physically doing something to help ease the pain, acknowledging the feelings and in a sense has been a way to helps humans survive in life.

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough
diaryofanimperfectmum

Why running rocks!

Hey readers,

Recently I returned to running and got hit again by the running bug, I just love and let me tell you why!

Because running gets you out of the house and you get some fresh air.

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If your like me, I get quite frustrated with my inadequacies as a person and since I have started running have found running really great to just burn off them feelings.

It is good for you physical health, I only do running three times a week but I still find it beneficial in helping me ton up my legs and help strength my arms (as I am on medication where one of the side effects causes me great deal of physical pain).

You feel like you have achieved something positive and can make you feel better for it.

It is really fantastic to help you sleep if you do in the evening or alternatively, if you do it first thing in the morning it can set you up for the day.

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You build up stamina which is always handy if you have young children and they want you to run after them in the park.

I had a break from running for a few weeks and definitely missed it. Once I stsrted again with running I found it made me much happier in myself and like I achieved something.

Obiviously, a bonus reason for running is it burns of calerioes which who can not deny is wonderful.

If you have children it sets an example regarding doing exercise and a positive message of seeing it occur.

You never fully appreciate a shower until after a hot sweaty run.

It is free, you can do it practically any where and at any time if you wish.

running 1

There are so many free apps like c25k to help beginnings that are a great guide to help you know where to start. If you are really confident then there is an event called parkrun (again free) where you run with others and such buzz, plus the feeling of being part of the running community.

As a parent you sometimes lose yourself, so it is good to do something for yourself, a bit of ‘me time’ where it is an activity solely for you to enjoy and get something out of.

Cheers for reading X

 

 

 

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Mummuddlingthrough
diaryofanimperfectmum

5 life lessons I have learnt

Hey readers,

I thought today I would share with you my five top lessons that I have learnt so far in my life.

My first lesson is that there is more good then there is bad in the world. Sometimes we can all get sucked into the doom and the gloom of bad news that we can forget that there is so many good people in this world. I think the below quote is spot on and something that we should all try and remember.

fred rodgers

My second lesson I have learnt is that sods law will always kick your ass every single time. When you think you know what will happen in life then  you can guarantee that something will pull that your feet at that moment in time. I suppose a classic example would be where is that bus when I am running late when normally it is bang on time!

two buses

As an anxiety suffer you believe every thought and feeling at that given time. You feel like you are stuck and things will never change. So my third lesson would be that the feeling will pass. I try to focus on this thought when hard times hit and life seems scary!

My four lesson would be that you can take it or leave it when it comes to your  thoughts because at the end of the day they is just all they are and only come from YOUR brain. No one stuck have that choice to whether you act upon them or not.

The final lesson that I have learnt in my life is and one of the best cures for stressful situations is  to have a cup of tea and toast as it is the best way to solves problems.  So, if I need time to think this is the one stop solution to give me a chance to think clearer.

tea and toast

What lessons have you learnt in life? What do you think of mine?

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough

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9 ways to wind down

Hey readers,

As a person who struggles to wind down it is always good to find ways to help me switch off. I am quite an anxious person naturally, so therefore, at times I can neglect myself especially when the anxiety is getting to me.

1) Turn off the technology, this will help you switch off from all the noise that is going on. It give you time to turn off the thoughts and help get your body naturally tired.

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2) Don’t drink caffeine an hour before bed as caffeine is a known stimulate that will increase the changes of not wanting to go to bed.

caffine

3) Make sure you get the right temperature for bedroom to help you feel more comfortable and ready to settle down for the night.

bedroom

4) Reading before bed is a fantastic way to help get you tired but also feel more relaxed.

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5) Watch something that is calming and not thought provoking and not a programme that will make you think or cause an emotional reaction because you don’t want racing thoughts as it can prevent you from sleeping and more likely waste timing thinking where you could of been sleeping.

tv

6) If you have anything thoughts that seem to be repeating and stopping you from getting sleep a good technique is to have a note book by your bed and writing down your thoughts. If there are written down then it is more easier to stay on top of them and they can then be deal with in the morning.

notepad

7) Having a bedtime routine can help settle you down ready for sleep and it also trains your brain so it gets used to knowing what is happening and what to expect.

8) Put some relaxing music and create a calming environment.

relaxing music

9) Have a bath – a great way to relax and soak the muscles after a long day.

bath

What ways help you relax before bed?

Cheers for reading X

Mummuddlingthrough

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Run Jump Scrap!

Why, why, why?

Hey readers,

I am sitting here by myself because it is half term and my eldest has been a terror to put it politely. Sometimes I end of the day feeling so frustrated that I just wished to be let free in a room full of China. I am not sure how I am going to cope through the two weeks without the break, I am sure we get through it but at the beginning of the holiday I dread it.

Why is it I try my  bestest to do something with the sprog and then all he does is pushes mine and hubby’s buttons. It fucks me off, I try and it results in fights and mayhem. He encourages the youngest to throw pens and then the youngest gets boisterous and rips the paper. Then pulls of as many Christmas decorations as possible from the Christmas tree on purpose and the eldest thinks the most hilarious thing to do is pull his trousers and pants down, he is laughing his head off and no one is laughing, fml!

Today just feels like my eldest is in a destructive mood and will go out his way to be a pain in the arse. No matter how much time I give him or get things to do, he is having none of it. I don’t know whether he is not getting warn out like the days he is at school where he can get over stimulated. Almost like an uneven balance of stimulation. Right now I am so pissed off with it all. I am pissed of with myself for getting so emotional about such stuff. I know it is a cliche but you do the worst thing and compare yourself to all the perfect parents on the internet. Why can’t my children be so chilled like other people’s children without turning it into a scene and making me feel totally deflated and a crap parent.

I am sat here writing this close to tears with rage. I have come on adult time out if you will because if I don’t then I will literally blow my top off. Seriously, today I am just struggling with parenting and knowing where to reach that balance. It doesn’t matter how many threats or putting on time out, my son is in that ‘mood’ where he is just not playing ball.
This may make me sound an awful parent but that the thoughts that cross my mind is why do I bother with all this stress when I maybe as well not bother. It could so simpler for me to not care, not to be engaging and just stick the TV on 24/7 and be done with it.  At least I wouldn’t have to deal with the challenging behaviour.

All I can say is some days being a parent is shit, I know awful but true. I am not perfect and sometimes dread it and can’t wake till the end of the day when I have break and my brain gets given a change to think about anything.

Cheers for reading X

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Five things I have learnt about motherhood

Hey readers,

This mother role is hard work, don’t get me wrong sometimes it can be fun, lovely, honaerable. On the flip side you can feel anxious, scared or even dread at times. It is so hard to get it right but sometimes just going along and being there in that you learn a lot more then any manual will tell you. Here is some of the things I have learnt going through the journey of motherhood.

1. Sometimes being a mum feels like a constant treadmill that you have to keep running to keep the balance right. It feels constant and repetitive. Sometimes I get this feeling of restlessness that will never end. For example the never ending pile of washing. Just when you think you have completed all the washing within half an hour there is another load appeared.  But you know what it is OK to stop, have a break from it and do something different. Have a day off because you know what you deserve it regardless what the media say!

2. Sometimes you mess up spectacular and you know what I have learnt that it is OK. Nobody provides that perfect parenting book.  Sometimes you just winging and learning as you go. Knowledge maybe powerful but experience is also up there with understanding in my opinion.

3. You know sometimes your child may act aggressively towards you. At that moment you just want to shout, “WILL YOU JUST STOP”. What really they need is your attention and affection even if they are being little shits, sometimes there maybe an underlying reason. This was one of my biggest challenges as I have Asperger syndrome which makes it really, really difficult to understand body language etc so I really had to work my butt of to understand and put myself in someone elses shoes. I don’t always get it right because saying and doing ate two different things. But practice and working at it all you can do and remembering that no one is perfect.

4. Learn the art of negotiation and you will find that both child and parent will win. It is tough but give it time and  it gets better and your relationship changes. I definitely notice a change between me and my children’s relationships. Sometimes it is hard to listen to your child especially if you have a million and one things to do. you just instant behaviours sadly we won’t always get it. Listening is a valuable skill that will help strength your relationship. It does take time however I can  verify that it has rewards in the long term. When I take a step back and listen my child is more willing and responsive. Overtime it gets easier, not always of course because life is not like that. I can confirm though that there is significant changes in a  more harmonious environment. Which makes parenting a hell of a lot easier.

5. One of the major things I have learnt through raising my children is patience and dedication. I sometimes have to hold back/ put on a mask or stay quiet. I have found this helps as I can’t always deal with immediate emotional responses due to my disability. I need time to digest and reflect before decisions. I have learnt to wait before I react as I am better mentally prepared to deal with that situation. Sometimes us parents just need to have five minutes away from the child to cool down the sitruation. It helps breaking down the negativity and coming back to the situation at a later date with fresher eyes to deal with it.

Cheers for reading X

Candyfloss & Dreams


Easy Ways To Make Your Family Room Look More Homely

Hey readers,

The living room is the perfect place for all the family to spend some quality time together, so you should aim to create a room that’s cosy and comfortable for everyone. Even really nicely decorated rooms can look stark and bare without the right finishing touches, so to bring it all together the perfect accessories are key. If you feel like your family room is currently bland and a bit lacking, check out these easy ways to make it feel more homely.

Add Cushions and Throws

cushions

Picture Source

Cushions and throws will make a room immediately look more cosy and homely. They’re a good way to bring in some colour and texture into the room, but also have the benefit of being lovely and comfortable too. Perfect for snuggling up together with in the evenings and on lazy weekends. A cosy bed on the sofa is the perfect way for a sick child to recover when they’ve not been feeling well (and they’re pretty handy for cheeky naps for the adults too!)

Display Family Photographs

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Picture Source

When we all take so many photos this day in age, it would be silly not to display some of our favourites. Family photos are a great way for visitors to learn more about your family, and are fantastic little reminders of the fun you’ve had together. Gallery walls are popular and give you the opportunity to display lots of individual pictures. Before hanging your frames, lay them all out on the floor first so you have an idea of where each piece looks best. Add Glue dots from Glue Guns Direct to each corner of your photo. This will tack it to the inside of the frame, and prevent it from slipping down or moving once it’s been hung. Then use a spirit level to check each picture after hanging to make sure everything looks perfectly straight.

Don’t Disregard Lighting

lighting

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Lighting is so often overlooked, but it’s a a really important thing to get right if you want to create a nice ambience in your home. You should ideally go for a couple of different lamps with varying levels of brightness, then you can tailor the lighting to whatever you’re doing in the room. Lamps with multi touch brightness are especially good as you have even more control. If you buy lamps with neutral coloured bases, you can change up the shades whenever you get bored or want to update the colour scheme in your room. This saves money on shelling out for an entirely new lamp!

Put Down Some Rugs

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Rugs are great for bringing in some additional comfort underfoot, and can tie everything else in the room together. When you have young kids that like to play on the floor it makes it a lot nicer for them too. Another benefit of adding rugs to your space is that you can use them to section out different areas in a room. So for example if you have your dining table in your living room, a rug under that as well as one in the general seating area gives you defined spaces.

Display Some Decorative Items

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Picture Source

These are all of the other miscellaneous bits and bobs. Things like vases of flowers, candles, plants and ornaments. The key to getting your decorative accessories right is finding a good balance. You want to display pieces that show your personality but without cluttering or overcrowding the room. One good tip to remember is don’t display things that are smaller that a grapefruit. This will prevent your room from looking too busy. Arrange small groups of items, and play around with the layout of them to work out what looks best.

Cheers for reading X

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Cuddle Fairy
 Diary of an imperfect mum
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