how to reduce feeling overwhelmed

Hey readers,

I am autistic and often I feel overwhelmed by all the information that I am taking in, weather that be in the physical environment or online. So, I thought I would share with you tips that have helped me feel less overstimulated.

overwhelmed 1

The hardest thing to do so is to step away from the situation but it is the best thing to do. This is because it cuts the information and stops everything from processing. Close the computer, step away from the notes or environment and give yourself that time to calm down/switch off from what is triggering a heighted sense of overload.  I found when I have made an immediate cut off I feel I can think clearer rather than just being in the situation where all I can thing about is that one thing. It gives me change to breathe and think what my next move is.

Writing down what exactly I want to do with all the information that is spinning around in my head. Writing down has helped make me feel more space to think straight about exactly what I am doing next. Hence why I always carry a notepad, so I can write all that stuff down that is important to me. Doing this also gives me a sense of control so I don’t get scared of missing out on any vital information at a later date.

overwhelmed 3

Often when I am feeling overwhelmed at home it means that I have more than one task to complete. Typically, I am trying to multitask, which is a bad move as I am more likely to make mistakes. Therefore I do a to-do list of all the things I need to get done and then number them in priority. If I don’t finish the list I can leave it for a different time.  Sometimes, you have to accept that you are not super human and there is only so much time that you have to do stuff especially being a parent. If it is not something that desperately needs to be done then it can wait. I have done this and found that the work I do at a later date is much better quality. This is because I can focus more on the task rather than at an earlier time when I am stressed out and unable to contrite on that one task, win-win!

I am a big believer in using breathing techniques (it did take me a long time to learn the importance of this) but using all your power on focusing on the art of breathing has really helped over the past couple of months. It helps relax my body and mind, allowing me to feel a reduction in feeling overwhelmed/anxious giving me the break to think.

overwhemed 2

With regards to my blogging I can get obsessed with linking up posts or saying yes to reviews, even though I am half-hearted about them. It is one of the most challenging things to do as a blogger is to say no, especially if like myself I struggle with social anxiety. Therefore, causing me to worry about the outcome. However, you have to look after yourself and can’t please everyone, you need to do what works for you. It is good to have a break or stop and think what makes you happy.

I hope this has helped anyone feeling overwhelmed, is there anything that has helped you get through feeling overwhelmed?

Cheers for reading X

Mummuddlingthrough

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Observations of what happens in a heatwave 

Hey readers,

 Have you noticed that it is a tat on the hot side, yep, me too and I am terribly British in which I love a good moan about the weather. So let’s look at my accurate portray of what it is like to experience going through a heatwave.

sweating 2

You know you are going through a heatwave when every sentence, every hour of the day is announcing to anyone who is listening, ‘It’s hot’.  Because no one obviously has noticed that big  yellow ball in the sky.

You go bat shit crazy in the supermarket for multi packs of ice lollies like your life depends on it.

You love your fan like a family member.

sun

Never has a cold shower felt so good until your child decides to walk in on you and declare you have a hole.

You get beyond frustrated at stupid questions asked by children about who is the smelliest when really all that matters right now is trying to concentrate on cramming as may ice cubes as possible into your cup.

You worry your bladder may explode because you have drank your weight in cold drinks in just one day.

sweating 1

Your pillow has never felt so pumped then during this heatwave with constantly turning over the pillow at night.

You suddenly become a raging manic woman over the tiniest of things  because you fuse has finally blown and throwing wet pants on mummy’s head tips her right over that edge.

The dreaded bedtime you have to do. The ultimate question, should or should you not open the windows? Where the bedroom is like a fucking sauna and outside is just noise from people constantly revving and horn beeping timed just around the bed time hour. Don’t they know these people outside having fun at bedtime hour makes this mama very, very angry.

You pine for autumn so hard, please bring it back, because I don’t know if I can cope with any more under boob sweat.

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough

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Messy play, ugh!

Hey readers,

SO the other day I thought I know what would be fun and creative on Sunday morning, pre-9am getting the paints out to some messy play. I know what you are thinking already, I am absolutely insane because it appears that I have some sort of long term memory with forgetting all about the crappy attempts last time and all the stress it caused.

But as per usual ‘mummy expectations’ put on myself through reading too much ideologies through social media, this sodding technological world we live in. I respect the fact that no one ever put a gun against my head, it is just having low self confidence in anything and parenting I worry about everything. I do I am not going lie, I don’t need pity it just a fact of life.

But must remind myself any time I think it is a good idea to go solo with a three year with paints, just step away. Seriously, I appreciate art but I don’t really rate a Pollock style rug, nor walls, nor table, nor sofa, nor bath, basically any fucking where the child decides to put the paint.

I am nervous wreck anyway because I am lucky enough to have a disposition to anxiety type A  personality shall we say.

Why, is it so important to paint, it consists of the child painting a grand total of five minutes whilst muggings here spends a good old forty minutes to clean up. I spend more time doing the work then the actually child, surely that is not right.

I be honest I am not very good with mess, and disorder with no logic to it. I REALLY, REALLY should leave this type of activity to the professionals AKA the nursery . He has a good three hours, five times a week to lose his shit with the paint then all I need to do is bath him in the brown mess every single day and constantly add to the pile of washing.  I am down with that, they can guide him to be a outstanding artist, nursery staff are trained and expert in this field, hence why they have so many teacher training day to deal with such skills.

So, the moral of the story  is don’t ever let your child lose with paint until they are at an age where they can clean up after themselves. I shall just embrace painting Mr Tumble’s bow tie on the Cbeebies app and leave the important stuff to the professionals!

Cheers for reading X

Life Love and Dirty Dishes

Let's Be Friends

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Hubby’s treacle  waffles recipe 

Hey Readers,

Looking for a sweet recipe look no further, I have a winner recipe here!

Ingredients

Makes 12 big waffles

  • Plain flour 300g
  • Demerara Sugar-  75g
  • Baking powder –  2 level teaspoons
  • A pinch of salt
  • Two eggs
  • melted butter – 100G
  • Milk – 500ml
  • Treacle – 1 tablespoon

(For savoury exchange the treacle and sugar for one more egg plus any herbs you want).

Method

  1. Flour, sugar, salt and baking powder into a bowl, make a well into the centre add the eggs and melted butter  and treacle. Gradually mixing from the centre mix the liquid into the dry (hubby find’s it easier using a dinner knife to do this because of the stickiness).
  2. Starting a  little at a time add and mix the milk in, you should get a mixture that is quite runny but thicker then pancake mix just add halfway through mixing hubby switches from a knife to a spatula, leave mixture to stand while you get your plate, toppings and waffle iron ready.
  3. If you normally make waffles then we find these work better on a slightly lower heat for a longer time, so for us instead of 3 1/2 minutes at setting 4.5 out of 8, we do it for 4 1/2/ minutes on setting 4.
  4. Enjoy!

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough
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Sparkly Mummy

Social anxiety kicks in!

Hey readers,

Today I attempted to a volunteer place but totally failed at it and now I feel a fool. 

It was an admin role but it was in an open arena with different people at different desks etc. and I just felt overwhelmed, uncomfortable paranoia and anxious. 

alone

I was so anxious that I had a panic attack. I felt so claustrophobic in that room. Like a fish in a glass bowl and everyone was staring at me. It is the most horrendous and intense feeling ever. 

I just could not handle it mentally. I don’t do small talk and the things I think about to talk about are not appropriate. I think it is anxiety that does that. 

alone 2

I just could not handle it and just went into flight or fight response. I forgot how bad my social anxiety can be, I have not been in this type of social situation for a long time.

I hate myself and now I am beating myself up about it. I know when I have cooled down and talked sense to myself I will see it from a different perspective but right now, in this moment, I am really down and emotional.

I feel that my response and lack of ability makes me a bad person, incapable and a failure. For a brief second I was tempted to jump in front of a train. Don’t worry I won’t but I want to be frank and real. This is real life going through the motions. You have a warped view of yourself and what you ‘ believe’ others think. 

alone 3

I feel I am less of a person because I can’t do this role, because I view success on where I have a job or not and feel that what society views as a good person or parent. This message feels even more present currently through the media when we are heading towards the general elections. 

I feel I have let myself down and my children. Why can’t I accept that I am autistic and some things are hard? I would never, ever expect a person who is confided in a wheel chair to just get up and walk.  That does not stop me being so hard on myself because the stigma is still prevalent and I don’t in normal life discuss really autism because to be perfectly honest I am embarrassed and ashamed. I feel guilty and let down. I know you’re going to say I shouldn’t feel like this but I do and I have experienced people judge me so it is hard to change. Though on a positive note it is something I am working on, but it takes time especially when it damages you so emotionally. The treatment is still discriminator out there, people see mental illness or invisibility as a negative and something that makes you less of a person.

I think I am also scared with regards to autism as it was reported in the news that NHS are diagnosis less children with less severe autism. What next I feel like autism is misunderstood and I am scared for myself and others what the fortune holds. 

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum

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Dear Bear and Beany

Why it’s good to cry

Hey readers,

I really struggle with my emotions at the best of times but there is one thing that I always fin helpful when dealing with my emotions and that is to cry.

crying

Before,  I used to hate it, as I felt so weak and a useless lump. However, my mindset has shifted as I got older and I came to the firm conclusion that I do enjoy a good old cry. It might not come to any solutions on how to deal with the problem but the feeling of when you cry feels like a cleaning of my motions, which I think is good for me mentally.

A lot of the time when I cry it occurs when I have had a build up of all the frustration and believe me and you I  get frustrated A LOT. I am autistic and struggle with seeing the world through a non-autistic way,  therefore I fee at times really angry and sad. That is why it is also important for me to find an outlet to get them feelings out in the open so they don’t get so overwhelming and interfere with my life too much.

crying 2

Therefore, I appreciate it when I cry, it is my body and mind telling me to let go, just let it all out and to me it feels like all the tension floating away. The after feeling of crying is what I enjoy the most, that transition where I can think clearer. I might not have any power to sort out a problem, nevertheless it helps make me think a bit more logically.

I see crying as a healthy way to manage my emotional response to a problem. we all cry  whether we admit to it or not. We should celebrate crying more and view crying as a natural reaction to situations when we feel sad.

crying 3

Research has highlighted that crying actually has a chemical response in the fact that we reduce our manganese levels. It has been found that when we cry the mineral manganese affect our mood and it is 30 times greater concentrated in tears then in the blood serum.

Crying gives us more control as we are actually physically doing something to help ease the pain, acknowledging the feelings and in a sense has been a way to helps humans survive in life.

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough
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Why running rocks!

Hey readers,

Recently I returned to running and got hit again by the running bug, I just love and let me tell you why!

Because running gets you out of the house and you get some fresh air.

running 3

If your like me, I get quite frustrated with my inadequacies as a person and since I have started running have found running really great to just burn off them feelings.

It is good for you physical health, I only do running three times a week but I still find it beneficial in helping me ton up my legs and help strength my arms (as I am on medication where one of the side effects causes me great deal of physical pain).

You feel like you have achieved something positive and can make you feel better for it.

It is really fantastic to help you sleep if you do in the evening or alternatively, if you do it first thing in the morning it can set you up for the day.

running 2

You build up stamina which is always handy if you have young children and they want you to run after them in the park.

I had a break from running for a few weeks and definitely missed it. Once I stsrted again with running I found it made me much happier in myself and like I achieved something.

Obiviously, a bonus reason for running is it burns of calerioes which who can not deny is wonderful.

If you have children it sets an example regarding doing exercise and a positive message of seeing it occur.

You never fully appreciate a shower until after a hot sweaty run.

It is free, you can do it practically any where and at any time if you wish.

running 1

There are so many free apps like c25k to help beginnings that are a great guide to help you know where to start. If you are really confident then there is an event called parkrun (again free) where you run with others and such buzz, plus the feeling of being part of the running community.

As a parent you sometimes lose yourself, so it is good to do something for yourself, a bit of ‘me time’ where it is an activity solely for you to enjoy and get something out of.

Cheers for reading X

 

 

 

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Mummuddlingthrough
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5 life lessons I have learnt

Hey readers,

I thought today I would share with you my five top lessons that I have learnt so far in my life.

My first lesson is that there is more good then there is bad in the world. Sometimes we can all get sucked into the doom and the gloom of bad news that we can forget that there is so many good people in this world. I think the below quote is spot on and something that we should all try and remember.

fred rodgers

My second lesson I have learnt is that sods law will always kick your ass every single time. When you think you know what will happen in life then  you can guarantee that something will pull that your feet at that moment in time. I suppose a classic example would be where is that bus when I am running late when normally it is bang on time!

two buses

As an anxiety suffer you believe every thought and feeling at that given time. You feel like you are stuck and things will never change. So my third lesson would be that the feeling will pass. I try to focus on this thought when hard times hit and life seems scary!

My four lesson would be that you can take it or leave it when it comes to your  thoughts because at the end of the day they is just all they are and only come from YOUR brain. No one stuck have that choice to whether you act upon them or not.

The final lesson that I have learnt in my life is and one of the best cures for stressful situations is  to have a cup of tea and toast as it is the best way to solves problems.  So, if I need time to think this is the one stop solution to give me a chance to think clearer.

tea and toast

What lessons have you learnt in life? What do you think of mine?

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough

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9 ways to wind down

Hey readers,

As a person who struggles to wind down it is always good to find ways to help me switch off. I am quite an anxious person naturally, so therefore, at times I can neglect myself especially when the anxiety is getting to me.

1) Turn off the technology, this will help you switch off from all the noise that is going on. It give you time to turn off the thoughts and help get your body naturally tired.

turn off phone.png

2) Don’t drink caffeine an hour before bed as caffeine is a known stimulate that will increase the changes of not wanting to go to bed.

caffine

3) Make sure you get the right temperature for bedroom to help you feel more comfortable and ready to settle down for the night.

bedroom

4) Reading before bed is a fantastic way to help get you tired but also feel more relaxed.

reading in bed.jpg

5) Watch something that is calming and not thought provoking and not a programme that will make you think or cause an emotional reaction because you don’t want racing thoughts as it can prevent you from sleeping and more likely waste timing thinking where you could of been sleeping.

tv

6) If you have anything thoughts that seem to be repeating and stopping you from getting sleep a good technique is to have a note book by your bed and writing down your thoughts. If there are written down then it is more easier to stay on top of them and they can then be deal with in the morning.

notepad

7) Having a bedtime routine can help settle you down ready for sleep and it also trains your brain so it gets used to knowing what is happening and what to expect.

8) Put some relaxing music and create a calming environment.

relaxing music

9) Have a bath – a great way to relax and soak the muscles after a long day.

bath

What ways help you relax before bed?

Cheers for reading X

Mummuddlingthrough

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Run Jump Scrap!

Why, why, why?

Hey readers,

I am sitting here by myself because it is half term and my eldest has been a terror to put it politely. Sometimes I end of the day feeling so frustrated that I just wished to be let free in a room full of China. I am not sure how I am going to cope through the two weeks without the break, I am sure we get through it but at the beginning of the holiday I dread it.

Why is it I try my  bestest to do something with the sprog and then all he does is pushes mine and hubby’s buttons. It fucks me off, I try and it results in fights and mayhem. He encourages the youngest to throw pens and then the youngest gets boisterous and rips the paper. Then pulls of as many Christmas decorations as possible from the Christmas tree on purpose and the eldest thinks the most hilarious thing to do is pull his trousers and pants down, he is laughing his head off and no one is laughing, fml!

Today just feels like my eldest is in a destructive mood and will go out his way to be a pain in the arse. No matter how much time I give him or get things to do, he is having none of it. I don’t know whether he is not getting warn out like the days he is at school where he can get over stimulated. Almost like an uneven balance of stimulation. Right now I am so pissed off with it all. I am pissed of with myself for getting so emotional about such stuff. I know it is a cliche but you do the worst thing and compare yourself to all the perfect parents on the internet. Why can’t my children be so chilled like other people’s children without turning it into a scene and making me feel totally deflated and a crap parent.

I am sat here writing this close to tears with rage. I have come on adult time out if you will because if I don’t then I will literally blow my top off. Seriously, today I am just struggling with parenting and knowing where to reach that balance. It doesn’t matter how many threats or putting on time out, my son is in that ‘mood’ where he is just not playing ball.
This may make me sound an awful parent but that the thoughts that cross my mind is why do I bother with all this stress when I maybe as well not bother. It could so simpler for me to not care, not to be engaging and just stick the TV on 24/7 and be done with it.  At least I wouldn’t have to deal with the challenging behaviour.

All I can say is some days being a parent is shit, I know awful but true. I am not perfect and sometimes dread it and can’t wake till the end of the day when I have break and my brain gets given a change to think about anything.

Cheers for reading X

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