how to reduce feeling overwhelmed

Hey readers,

I am autistic and often I feel overwhelmed by all the information that I am taking in, weather that be in the physical environment or online. So, I thought I would share with you tips that have helped me feel less overstimulated.

overwhelmed 1

The hardest thing to do so is to step away from the situation but it is the best thing to do. This is because it cuts the information and stops everything from processing. Close the computer, step away from the notes or environment and give yourself that time to calm down/switch off from what is triggering a heighted sense of overload.  I found when I have made an immediate cut off I feel I can think clearer rather than just being in the situation where all I can thing about is that one thing. It gives me change to breathe and think what my next move is.

Writing down what exactly I want to do with all the information that is spinning around in my head. Writing down has helped make me feel more space to think straight about exactly what I am doing next. Hence why I always carry a notepad, so I can write all that stuff down that is important to me. Doing this also gives me a sense of control so I don’t get scared of missing out on any vital information at a later date.

overwhelmed 3

Often when I am feeling overwhelmed at home it means that I have more than one task to complete. Typically, I am trying to multitask, which is a bad move as I am more likely to make mistakes. Therefore I do a to-do list of all the things I need to get done and then number them in priority. If I don’t finish the list I can leave it for a different time.  Sometimes, you have to accept that you are not super human and there is only so much time that you have to do stuff especially being a parent. If it is not something that desperately needs to be done then it can wait. I have done this and found that the work I do at a later date is much better quality. This is because I can focus more on the task rather than at an earlier time when I am stressed out and unable to contrite on that one task, win-win!

I am a big believer in using breathing techniques (it did take me a long time to learn the importance of this) but using all your power on focusing on the art of breathing has really helped over the past couple of months. It helps relax my body and mind, allowing me to feel a reduction in feeling overwhelmed/anxious giving me the break to think.

overwhemed 2

With regards to my blogging I can get obsessed with linking up posts or saying yes to reviews, even though I am half-hearted about them. It is one of the most challenging things to do as a blogger is to say no, especially if like myself I struggle with social anxiety. Therefore, causing me to worry about the outcome. However, you have to look after yourself and can’t please everyone, you need to do what works for you. It is good to have a break or stop and think what makes you happy.

I hope this has helped anyone feeling overwhelmed, is there anything that has helped you get through feeling overwhelmed?

Cheers for reading X

Mummuddlingthrough

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Observations of what happens in a heatwave 

Hey readers,

 Have you noticed that it is a tat on the hot side, yep, me too and I am terribly British in which I love a good moan about the weather. So let’s look at my accurate portray of what it is like to experience going through a heatwave.

sweating 2

You know you are going through a heatwave when every sentence, every hour of the day is announcing to anyone who is listening, ‘It’s hot’.  Because no one obviously has noticed that big  yellow ball in the sky.

You go bat shit crazy in the supermarket for multi packs of ice lollies like your life depends on it.

You love your fan like a family member.

sun

Never has a cold shower felt so good until your child decides to walk in on you and declare you have a hole.

You get beyond frustrated at stupid questions asked by children about who is the smelliest when really all that matters right now is trying to concentrate on cramming as may ice cubes as possible into your cup.

You worry your bladder may explode because you have drank your weight in cold drinks in just one day.

sweating 1

Your pillow has never felt so pumped then during this heatwave with constantly turning over the pillow at night.

You suddenly become a raging manic woman over the tiniest of things  because you fuse has finally blown and throwing wet pants on mummy’s head tips her right over that edge.

The dreaded bedtime you have to do. The ultimate question, should or should you not open the windows? Where the bedroom is like a fucking sauna and outside is just noise from people constantly revving and horn beeping timed just around the bed time hour. Don’t they know these people outside having fun at bedtime hour makes this mama very, very angry.

You pine for autumn so hard, please bring it back, because I don’t know if I can cope with any more under boob sweat.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

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Messy play, ugh!

Hey readers,

SO the other day I thought I know what would be fun and creative on Sunday morning, pre-9am getting the paints out to some messy play. I know what you are thinking already, I am absolutely insane because it appears that I have some sort of long term memory with forgetting all about the crappy attempts last time and all the stress it caused.

But as per usual ‘mummy expectations’ put on myself through reading too much ideologies through social media, this sodding technological world we live in. I respect the fact that no one ever put a gun against my head, it is just having low self confidence in anything and parenting I worry about everything. I do I am not going lie, I don’t need pity it just a fact of life.

But must remind myself any time I think it is a good idea to go solo with a three year with paints, just step away. Seriously, I appreciate art but I don’t really rate a Pollock style rug, nor walls, nor table, nor sofa, nor bath, basically any fucking where the child decides to put the paint.

I am nervous wreck anyway because I am lucky enough to have a disposition to anxiety type A  personality shall we say.

Why, is it so important to paint, it consists of the child painting a grand total of five minutes whilst muggings here spends a good old forty minutes to clean up. I spend more time doing the work then the actually child, surely that is not right.

I be honest I am not very good with mess, and disorder with no logic to it. I REALLY, REALLY should leave this type of activity to the professionals AKA the nursery . He has a good three hours, five times a week to lose his shit with the paint then all I need to do is bath him in the brown mess every single day and constantly add to the pile of washing.  I am down with that, they can guide him to be a outstanding artist, nursery staff are trained and expert in this field, hence why they have so many teacher training day to deal with such skills.

So, the moral of the story  is don’t ever let your child lose with paint until they are at an age where they can clean up after themselves. I shall just embrace painting Mr Tumble’s bow tie on the Cbeebies app and leave the important stuff to the professionals!

Cheers for reading X

Life Love and Dirty Dishes

Let's Be Friends

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Hubby’s treacle  waffles recipe 

Hey Readers,

Looking for a sweet recipe look no further, I have a winner recipe here!

Ingredients

Makes 12 big waffles

  • Plain flour 300g
  • Demerara Sugar-  75g
  • Baking powder –  2 level teaspoons
  • A pinch of salt
  • Two eggs
  • melted butter – 100G
  • Milk – 500ml
  • Treacle – 1 tablespoon

(For savoury exchange the treacle and sugar for one more egg plus any herbs you want).

Method

  1. Flour, sugar, salt and baking powder into a bowl, make a well into the centre add the eggs and melted butter  and treacle. Gradually mixing from the centre mix the liquid into the dry (hubby find’s it easier using a dinner knife to do this because of the stickiness).
  2. Starting a  little at a time add and mix the milk in, you should get a mixture that is quite runny but thicker then pancake mix just add halfway through mixing hubby switches from a knife to a spatula, leave mixture to stand while you get your plate, toppings and waffle iron ready.
  3. If you normally make waffles then we find these work better on a slightly lower heat for a longer time, so for us instead of 3 1/2 minutes at setting 4.5 out of 8, we do it for 4 1/2/ minutes on setting 4.
  4. Enjoy!

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough
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Sparkly Mummy

Social anxiety kicks in!

Hey readers,

Today I attempted to a volunteer place but totally failed at it and now I feel a fool. 

It was an admin role but it was in an open arena with different people at different desks etc. and I just felt overwhelmed, uncomfortable paranoia and anxious. 

alone

I was so anxious that I had a panic attack. I felt so claustrophobic in that room. Like a fish in a glass bowl and everyone was staring at me. It is the most horrendous and intense feeling ever. 

I just could not handle it mentally. I don’t do small talk and the things I think about to talk about are not appropriate. I think it is anxiety that does that. 

alone 2

I just could not handle it and just went into flight or fight response. I forgot how bad my social anxiety can be, I have not been in this type of social situation for a long time.

I hate myself and now I am beating myself up about it. I know when I have cooled down and talked sense to myself I will see it from a different perspective but right now, in this moment, I am really down and emotional.

I feel that my response and lack of ability makes me a bad person, incapable and a failure. For a brief second I was tempted to jump in front of a train. Don’t worry I won’t but I want to be frank and real. This is real life going through the motions. You have a warped view of yourself and what you ‘ believe’ others think. 

alone 3

I feel I am less of a person because I can’t do this role, because I view success on where I have a job or not and feel that what society views as a good person or parent. This message feels even more present currently through the media when we are heading towards the general elections. 

I feel I have let myself down and my children. Why can’t I accept that I am autistic and some things are hard? I would never, ever expect a person who is confided in a wheel chair to just get up and walk.  That does not stop me being so hard on myself because the stigma is still prevalent and I don’t in normal life discuss really autism because to be perfectly honest I am embarrassed and ashamed. I feel guilty and let down. I know you’re going to say I shouldn’t feel like this but I do and I have experienced people judge me so it is hard to change. Though on a positive note it is something I am working on, but it takes time especially when it damages you so emotionally. The treatment is still discriminator out there, people see mental illness or invisibility as a negative and something that makes you less of a person.

I think I am also scared with regards to autism as it was reported in the news that NHS are diagnosis less children with less severe autism. What next I feel like autism is misunderstood and I am scared for myself and others what the fortune holds. 

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum

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Dear Bear and Beany

Why it’s good to cry

Hey readers,

I really struggle with my emotions at the best of times but there is one thing that I always fin helpful when dealing with my emotions and that is to cry.

crying

Before,  I used to hate it, as I felt so weak and a useless lump. However, my mindset has shifted as I got older and I came to the firm conclusion that I do enjoy a good old cry. It might not come to any solutions on how to deal with the problem but the feeling of when you cry feels like a cleaning of my motions, which I think is good for me mentally.

A lot of the time when I cry it occurs when I have had a build up of all the frustration and believe me and you I  get frustrated A LOT. I am autistic and struggle with seeing the world through a non-autistic way,  therefore I fee at times really angry and sad. That is why it is also important for me to find an outlet to get them feelings out in the open so they don’t get so overwhelming and interfere with my life too much.

crying 2

Therefore, I appreciate it when I cry, it is my body and mind telling me to let go, just let it all out and to me it feels like all the tension floating away. The after feeling of crying is what I enjoy the most, that transition where I can think clearer. I might not have any power to sort out a problem, nevertheless it helps make me think a bit more logically.

I see crying as a healthy way to manage my emotional response to a problem. we all cry  whether we admit to it or not. We should celebrate crying more and view crying as a natural reaction to situations when we feel sad.

crying 3

Research has highlighted that crying actually has a chemical response in the fact that we reduce our manganese levels. It has been found that when we cry the mineral manganese affect our mood and it is 30 times greater concentrated in tears then in the blood serum.

Crying gives us more control as we are actually physically doing something to help ease the pain, acknowledging the feelings and in a sense has been a way to helps humans survive in life.

Cheers for reading X

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Mummuddlingthrough
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Why running rocks!

Hey readers,

Recently I returned to running and got hit again by the running bug, I just love and let me tell you why!

Because running gets you out of the house and you get some fresh air.

running 3

If your like me, I get quite frustrated with my inadequacies as a person and since I have started running have found running really great to just burn off them feelings.

It is good for you physical health, I only do running three times a week but I still find it beneficial in helping me ton up my legs and help strength my arms (as I am on medication where one of the side effects causes me great deal of physical pain).

You feel like you have achieved something positive and can make you feel better for it.

It is really fantastic to help you sleep if you do in the evening or alternatively, if you do it first thing in the morning it can set you up for the day.

running 2

You build up stamina which is always handy if you have young children and they want you to run after them in the park.

I had a break from running for a few weeks and definitely missed it. Once I stsrted again with running I found it made me much happier in myself and like I achieved something.

Obiviously, a bonus reason for running is it burns of calerioes which who can not deny is wonderful.

If you have children it sets an example regarding doing exercise and a positive message of seeing it occur.

You never fully appreciate a shower until after a hot sweaty run.

It is free, you can do it practically any where and at any time if you wish.

running 1

There are so many free apps like c25k to help beginnings that are a great guide to help you know where to start. If you are really confident then there is an event called parkrun (again free) where you run with others and such buzz, plus the feeling of being part of the running community.

As a parent you sometimes lose yourself, so it is good to do something for yourself, a bit of ‘me time’ where it is an activity solely for you to enjoy and get something out of.

Cheers for reading X

 

 

 

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Mummuddlingthrough
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I hate the term girl gang

Hey readers,

There is this term knocking about on the internet called GIRL GANG and I hate it with a passion. Let me tell you why, well for a start I don’t need people to help me and nor do I like a person based on their gender. It is really not important to me and as sickly as it sounds I like a person because of who they are and not because they have a vagina.

girl gang

I don’t want to be an arse licker and you get that sense with this whole phenomena  of the term girl gang. I chose who I like and some girls quite frankly are twats where as others are my idols.

I don’t belong in gangs, it gives a sense of threatening and I don’t believe in ganging up on people to like you or others.

girls

The whole term of girl is condescending anyway, like we are not allowed to be called women because they are too hostile. But that is what we are and we should celebrate it. But also we don’t need to have to push our gender out there surely, shouldn’t we just forget about that and celebrate the actually person.

There are all these kind of ideas of the people in a girl gang whereas if it is men they don’t go on about their gender but merely just get to the point. Which is what is much more attractive. Some great women are not bold and assertive that doesn’t make them less of a female and any less of a reason to celebrate them. You only get certain type of person in these gangs but there is so much more to a person then a title.

feminism

I class myself as a feminist in the sense that everyone should have equal opportunities regardless of your gender. It should be fair and not sticking silly labels to an idea of empowering others when really all you are doing is excluding others. If you want help then cut the sectioning off and let’s just celebrate people regardless of whether they have a vagina or not and see them as a person in their own right.

Cheers for reading X

diaryofanimperfectmum
Mummuddlingthrough

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Wet day outings

Hey readers,

When days are wet and you can’t bear another day trapped in the four walls while you slowly go  insane then you must check out my safe list of places to go indoors. They are child friendly, dry and more importantly cheap.

1) Go to the library, read some books, choose some books and let the kids check them out. It is all very exciting and costs nothing.

library

Via Pixabay

2) Your local garden centre is great as it has lots of random tat and they tend to have a coffee shop. Not to mention if your lucky enough fish to see and everyone is happy!

3) Got to love going to IKEA.  Child friendly, free play for 3yo, cheap food and child themed play areas. Both my boys love this place and they can run around causing them to tire them out, #winning.

4) Hit a coffee shop, my boys adore the mini cups as they feel like an adult. I also appreciate the atmosphere as it is a great chilled vibe.

5) McDonalds where you can go get a happy meal and it comes with a toy, what more could child want.  I have wrote a post here why I love this place so much!

mcdonalds

Via Pixabay

6) Get on a bus for a adventure. My boys love a good trip out on a bus.

7) We live near a free (whoop) green conservatory area for the public. It had plenty of green and a pond full of fish. Beautiful settings and makes a change for me and the boys.

8) Faithful museums are free and educational.

museum

Via Pixabay

9) If in dealt go to Pets At Home, it is basically a free zoo.

10) If you want have a sit down in a quite, dark room, go to your local Odean where every morning during holiday time and weekends term time they have tickets for children films for £2.50.

Cheers for reading X

Diary of an imperfect mum

Ways that I de-stress

Hey readers,

Sometimes, for whatever reason it can be hard to wind down, particularly if your stressed out and full of energy. It is good to have a plan to know what kind of things that help you unwind. I know myself, when feeling angry I can not think rationally. That is why it is important to think pre-stress to what helps you calm down. There are many things but I thought I would give you some of my own personal example of things that help and you never know, they may help you.

stressed

via Pixabay

  1. Colouring.
  2. Taking a hot shower.
  3. Writing a poem.
  4. Writing blog post about your experience.
  5. Getting distracted by ideas on Pinterest.
  6. Going out for a walk to clear your head and taking yourself away from the situation.
  7. Reading and losing yourself in a story. Helps to focus on something different other then what you are presently feeling.
  8. Painting nails can make you feel better and also it is a physical think which needs your attention.
  9. Watching a comedy and laughing is good for the soul.
  10. Singing some songs can make you feel better and get the frustration out.
  11. Drawing some doodles or sketching can be therapeutic.
  12. Having a sleep and escape from it for a bit.
  13. Doing some exercise can help kick out some of that pent up frustration.
  14. Being kind to yourself – positive affirmations. Remembering that what you feel now is temporarily.
  15. Do some housework, something that can make you feel better and in control.

Cheers for reading X

Diary of an imperfect mum