As a long-term sufferer from anxiety, I have learned a lot on the way from experiencing anxiety. For one thing, anxiety is the pits! At times when feeling anxious, it feels very real especially when your heart is pounding so hard you feel that it may feel out of your body.
Over the years anxiety scared me ironically. I wanted to run away and try to hide from it but if you have ever suffered from anxiety then it will find you and you will be sure made aware of it. If anything running away from the anxiety actually makes it worse in my opinion and the experience I have had of anxiety.
Over the years I have come to one conclusion with anxiety is to accept it for what it is. Ok, it is a regular visitor but it is definitely not a friend because it is not very nice. But accepting it and feeling the feelings is ok, it doesn’t make me a failure, which I believed for a very long time.
Accepting the anxiety and knowing that the anxious thoughts are not always true and sometimes my behaviour is just learned from all the years of fear. It is a warped way of protecting myself. Now I embrace it, I allow it to come. If I have a panic attack or breakdown in tears I let it come. It is ok and actually, it is so much more manageable than before. This mindset has helped. Likewise, with feelings of failure, I know that anxiety is something that may be with me all my life but it doesn’t mean I am weak or I give in. I accept it and work with it the best I can at that time.
You have to ride with the anxiety like the waves of the sea. Sometimes I experience anxiety and it can be only a day where I am cribbled with intense dread. Other times I go through periods of total exhaustion, tearfulness, panic attacks etc. That is ok. It is ok not to be ok. It is ok not to be superhuman and it is ok to have anxiety. It doesn’t make me less of a person. I am not anxiety, anxiety is part of me but there are many more layers to me.
I am still learning about my mental health, it is not easy especially when you are vulnerable and prone to the negativity it can catch you out, anxiety is a bugger like that. But I am with wisdom moving on with anxiety, if it is there it is there but I am not going to run away from it or be scared of it anymore. I think this is one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned in life. I am not superhuman but I can feel and appreciate the feelings. They belong to me and I can respond to them any way I chose. It is my life and the anxiety does not control me, I am the controller of anxiety.
Cheers for reading X