Why I am against smacking children

Hey readers,

Last week The Association of Educational Psychologists said that they want to ban parents from smacking children at home.

Smacking is banned in schools however parents can smack their child at home as long as it is deemed reasonable.

silhouette photo of boy standing near glass wall

I 100% agree that smacking anywhere should be banned because it is physical violence regardless of the amount of strength you do it. I don’t see how children learn from being smacked by their parents, all it does is make them lie better. To me, that is not good for anyone.

I don’t think children learn from smacking if anything I think it can have an impact on their mental health and increase the chances of anxiety. This is because they will be scared in case at any moment the risk of doing anything wrong and that to have negative consequences.

Having this form of violence (in my eyes) can make a child feel really sad. This can make their home life feel crap because of knowing that if they do anything wrong regardless of it was intentionally an accident there is the risk they get hit.

I think hitting is a negative way to parent and it doesn’t solve any problems. It is much better to have other ways to teach the child right from wrong.

If children learn from their parents then they will believe that it is ok to hit someone and then there is the risk that they too may one day hit another person.

girl sitting on vehicle seat while looking at window

I don’t think it is fair that someone bigger then the child can go along and imitate and inflict pain on another. When will it stop, how will it end if it continues where do parents draw the line? How do you know if the parent gets fed up and thinks well got to hit the child harder to get the message through? This situation can escalate in a very toxic homelife impacting on the child’s mental health and other areas such as education.

I think if you want to earn respect from a child it doesn’t work if you hit them if anything it could result in the child hating the parent. It certainly wouldn’t want them to come to the parent and talk about any concerns they may have, as they don’t know how the parent will respond. Then this may cause a negative relationship between the child and parent, that can be damaging for the child.

I myself have been in similar situations and there is nothing worse as a child when you are petrified of going home to the horrible environment. You literally are scared and anxious at school. The anxiety gets worse closer to the end of the day. For me, I couldn’t probably concentrate on my school work because I was filled with dread and worried if I had done anything wrong therefore leading to being hit. It is the most horrible feeling in the world. The anxiety doesn’t just stop there it carries on all the time constant in the background. It is horrible to live like that and that is why I want smacking banned in the home.

Cheers for reading X

49 thoughts on “Why I am against smacking children

  1. I have smacked my youngest once when she was having an almighty tantrum. She was out of control and a tap on the bottom brought her back to reality. She was about 4 years old. Since then I have never needed to. I wouldn’t smack my girls now…Banning them from their electronics has much more effect. #MMBC

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve never agreed with smacking a child. Along side the fact that Ibdont think agression is ever the answer, as a chipd myself my mum would smack us if we did something wrong and it never made me think oh I mustn’t do that again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally agree! Although I was occasionally smacked as a child and it didn’t actually do me any harm. There’s a difference between that and what you describe where a child is living in fear. I always knew if I was smacked that I’d gone too far and I did learn from it. #mixitup

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  4. I both agree and disagree with you. It depends on the age of the child. It also depends on the parent. I was horribly abused as a child and when I say I got hit, it wasn’t a smack on the bottom or a tap on the hand. It was closed fists, belts, spoons, anything the adult could get his/her hands on. There is a huge difference between smacking a child on the bottom (again, depending on the age and the situation) and beating them until they are bleeding or bruised. I do understand what you mean about parents who do hit might think that if the child doesn’t listen then hitting harder might be the solution, which it never is. There are also parents who have been abused who don’t always know where to draw the line between discipline and abuse. Even parents who haven’t been abused sometimes cross this line without realizing it and that is a dangerous place to be.

    Speaking for myself, I have smacked my children a handful of times when they were small and I’m not ashamed of it. I did what I felt was the right course of action in order to instill discipline and teach them right from wrong. I love my children more than anyone else on the planet. I would die for them, like most parents would. However, at a certain age I don’t believe in hitting a child. There are other ways to discipline a child but again it depends on the child, the parent, and the situation. I believe that most of us parents are just trying to do the right thing. Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook, despite all the parenting books out there.

    I read somewhere recently that there is a person, I don’t remember if she is an educator or psychologist or just a parent but this person doesn’t believe in time outs. She believes that time outs are psychologically detrimental to children. I strongly disagree with that. Children have to be disciplined when it is necessary. If we don’t correct our children and punish them when they do wrong they will not learn this necessary life skill and they will end up believing they are entitled to everything, which, in the states anyway, is exactly where we are.

    So where do we draw the line? I do believe that unless the parent is being abusive, then it should be up to the parent. The problem that I think is at the core of this issue is what is deemed abusive and what is deemed discipline? I know here in the states, every state defines abuse differently. It should be a universal thing that we all can agree on. While my state defines abuse as any foreign object, the state of Florida says that any open surface is acceptable. This means that parents can hit their children with large wooden spoons or spatulas and that’s not considered abuse, which to me, is not okay under ANY circumstances.

    I also want to point out though that parents who choose not to hit their children but instead have alternative routes are not in any way bad either. I know there are people out there who seem to think it’s totally okay to judge these parents as well for not being more strict on their kids. It’s not okay. We parents go through enough judgement towards ourselves for every little decision we make and every little mistake we make, concerning our children. We don’t need outsiders telling us what’s best for our children. Yet, in some cases, it is absolutely necessary. It’s certainly a conundrum isn’t it? We don’t want to judge each other but when we see something we think isn’t right we have to speak up.

    Anyway, sorry for the long comment. I have a big mixed bag of differing opinions on this issue and I can definitely see both sides. #mixitup

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  5. I think smacking sends mixed messages and the child will think it’s OK for them to hit people. Really we should try and model only positive behaviours – no shouting or unkind words either but parents are humans and another good lesson is we don’t get everything right.

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  6. I’m with you, I really disagree with smacking. The problem is, there are so many parents who know no alternative and the kids get away with murder. If you don’t smack then you really need to know what type of discipline to use and stick with it. I’ve never had to smack any of my kids and I wasn’t smacked as a child.

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  7. I have never smacked my children – I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Nor was I smacked as a child, or at least I don’t remember being. However, I do feel that parents should be able to choose how to discipline their children. A quick tap on the hand to prevent a toddler from touching a fire isn’t terrible. I agree with nightwisprav3n above. xx #bigpinklink

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  8. I agree on the whole but I also agree with some of the comments here that it should be an individual choice. A small smack on the bottom or tap on the hand is acceptable but I also think it opens the floodgates for more drastic measures. It’s a really confusing one x #AnythingGoes

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  9. Personally I would say the only times I have thought about smacking L were when he had made me really, really angry and I was therefore not in control. So I don’t see how it would do any good. Instead I walk off. Is it better? That I don’t know. But if I’m reacting out of anger that can’t be good, so I would rather walk away for a few minutes and return to deal with it when I am calm. #TwinklyTuesday

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  10. Spot on. It’s never acceptable. I read some of the comments and notice some disagreeing. But let’s run through this (with a lot of your good arguments too!).

    Difference between smaking and beating. Well, they’re both wrong. So what if one is much worse. Robbing a post office might not be as severe as murder, but it doesn’t mean either is acceptable

    The ‘I was smacked’ so it must be fine argument doesn’t make sense. It just means someone did something wrong to you. And made it more difficult for you to do the right thing when you’re an adult

    The ‘it depends on their age’ argument is terrifying. If their younger, should you be able to hit them more, but stop when they start getting closer in size to you. Thinking about it, that’s pretty cruel and terrible, but surprisingly common. Saying your ‘juts smaking’ means you can get away with hitting someone a small fraction of your size, with no ability to defend themselves, and who relies on you for almost everything. In what other context would we think this is acceptable?

    ‘But they were just so annoying/tantrum’. Well, besides the point you make about a child learning to regulate their feelings, and the fact that the adult should have learnt to do so, hitting the tantrum child just shows us (and the kid) that the adult is worse at controlling their emotional impulses than the tiny person they’re hitting.

    ‘When they just won’t listen I have no choice’ is also weird, because you do have a choice. In an life or death situation, hitting won’t help and you are larger, lift them up! However difficult it is, hitting just show that you lost control, and does not help the tantrum situation.

    Hitting a kid, for whatever reasons, is justified in some outdated idea that ‘smaking’ is good for the kids. It isn’t. It’s not only a bad way to teach kids, it’s also ethically wrong. Hitting someone who can’t defend themselves and depends on you because you can’t control your reaction is morally reprehensible. We wouldn’t do it to an adult, even if they had the faculties of a small child.

    Thanks for writing this post, and for your solid arguments too. Sorry for the long rant, it’s a touchy subject for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I do agree with you. However, I had a smack when I was a kid and it’s never done me any harm. I think we know what the differnce is between a smack if you’ve been so bad and an abusive smack.

    Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS this week. Hope to see you again next week.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I feel so sad for you that you were scared to go home and that it caused you so much anxiety. I think there are many other ways that you can teach a child right from wrong without smacking them and it takes more control for the adults to use other methods. A very belated #bigpinklink comment sorry!

    Liked by 1 person

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