Feed is best

Hey readers,

So you probably heard of the news story today regarding midwives been told to respect the decision by the mother if she decides not to breastfeed her baby.

This is such good news to hear because when I could not breastfeed my baby I was devasted and thought that was it I am officially the world’s sh*test parent. Even though I tried my hardest I just didn’t have the co-ordination due to my spatial awareness difficulties due to being autistic.

I remember going to a breastfeeding group pre baby and the sheer pressure from the group was scary. I felt like if I didn’t do this then I would be such a bad person.

After my eldest was born I tried for two/three days to breastfeed. I was in hospital for the two days due to complications. Every single time I needed help. I could not do it myself. Even after when I returned home I had my husband do it for me. Again it made me feel like a massive failure and it stopped me bonding with my son. I felt so angry with myself and feel that I was not adequate in being a mum.

I think the guilt of not being able to breastfeed was one of the things that triggered postnatal depression sadly.

Luckily, however, I saw a brilliant midwife who told me to just bottle feed, I was baffled but then I thought well actually yeah why not. She told me she bottle fed her children and it made me feel so much better knowing that it was OK to formula feed. Having that support was a big deal. Just knowing it was OK to do so and nothing bad was going to happen helped make me feel relief like I have never felt before.

So to hear the changes is such a positive step forward. I am not knocking breastfeeding but I think it is important to be mindful that not every woman can do it and that is OK. As long as the baby is feed that is much more important.

Cheers for reading X

18 thoughts on “Feed is best

  1. As a mum who also struggled to breastfeed I totally know where you are coming from. My issue was milk supply, or lack there of! I was devastated, felt so guilty, and like you say like a failure. It really didn’t help with the pressure from other mums who said things like everyone can do it you’re not trying hard enough! Believe me I was trying, I did everything to try to increase my supply, but it never helped. I hoped it would be different with abby 2 and 3, but it wasn’t. My children are now 14, 11 and 8, are super healthy and smart, funny, happy kids, so formula did not cause them to be behind breast fed children. Yes I can acknowledge that Breast Milk is the healthiest thing for a baby, but we do not have the right to judge! I couldn’t make milk, in another lifetime my babies would have starved to death unless another mother fed them. But even if it is a choice not based on an issue like I had or you had, it is still the mothers right to choose! It is better to love and bond with your child over a bottle than be beating ourselves up and feeling like failures! Great post! Thanks for linking up #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had similar issues to Mac and ended up feeling dreadful. The thing is, you look at all our children now and you can’t tell from looking at them who was breast feed, what weaning method was used, how they were potty trained etc. We beat ourselves – and others up – about these things but as long as a child is loved and cared for, who cares?!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely! My milk never came in and I was devastated and felt so guilty and a complete failure, but we bottle fed and I learnt that you can bond with your baby just as much. J and I are so close that I don’t feel that I let him down anymore. #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

  3. my first i was awful and I sruggled for 6 months, the second feeding him was a dream again fed for 6 months. my third i was very poorly after and could not breastfeed I could not even think about it i felt so shocking after all that had happened. i was supported 100% which was lovely and i know i was lucky in that respect #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think you are right that a lot of feeding support is heavily in support of breast feeding, which can be quite intimidating for someone who is struggling. I’m glad you found someone who reassured you, as ultimately a happy Mum is a happy baby.
    Thanks for sharing your story with #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I really hope they continue to stand by this. We rushed my eldest to hospital when he vomited blood at 3 days old. It was from my milk and I was told to stop feeding immediately. The next day the midwife visited and insisted I start up again. I had issues with my subsequent children too but managed to successfully combination feed all 3. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

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