Silly things my mind has told me

Hey readers,

I have anxiety and depression and one of the problems with these conditions is that I suffer from intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are frightening, they are exhausting (for me) they feel and they make me very anxious. They feel real and can potentially turn into a cycle where the thoughts can come quickly. They may be thoughts that are fear induced or down to lack of control., Control is a big trigger for me and my anxiety.

So, now I am going to share with you some of the kind of silly things my brain tries to tell me and trick me into believing.

  • Husband is going to call social services because I have the TV on therefore I am not a good parent.
  • such and such a teacher is watching my every move I make, see if I am capable. They are taking notes and discussing me in a negative light with their colleagues. They are taking the piss out of me because I stutter, I am shaking and crying. They are watching me and judging me because I am fat, I can’t engage. They think I am not a good parent and I shouldn’t look after my kids.
  • My husband is going to die, he is out and won’t come back. He hates me and blames me for everything.
  • My husband when out shopping with the boys, I get fearful especially for long periods that they have died in the car. I am petrified and shaking. I am having very dark imagery thoughts about how the bodies are dismantled in the car, the process of imagining them dying in the car.
  • A parent in the playground is looking at me, talking about how ugly I am. How rubbish parent I am. How socially awkward I am. How retarded my children are.

The examples I have given are just a handful of examples, that have happened in the last couple of days. I wanted to share how horrible the thoughts can be and they are so scary. People assume anxiety is something a bit mandy pandy but it is a struggle. It is a battle every day for me. Sometimes I have better days, sometimes I have worse days. But the anxiety is always there ready and waiting.

Cheers for reading X

38 thoughts on “Silly things my mind has told me

  1. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression last year and although my thoughts are not always as dark I often find myself completely out of control. My mind goes completely blank and I lose parts of my life, forgetting important things and losing things. It is these times that I fear I will make a mistake that is fatal to my children. Thank you for being so honest. I am reading a lot about how the brain works especially in relation to anxiety and depression. Understanding how and why our brains attack us sometimes has really helped me to rationalise my behaviour and cope during difficult days. Keep staying strong and raising awareness. #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You write so honestly and candidly about your depression and anxiety and this will undoubtedly help others. Your image statement is correct and I have found great comfort in my mindfulness mantra ‘thoughts are not facts’. I also find the poem by Rumi very helpful (about thoughts being guests to be welcomed…) I had a really horrible intrusive thought today for the first time in ages and I was taken back to a dark place… it is awful to be dealing constantly with this stuff. I hope you have lots of lovely support around you. #familyfunlinky xx

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  3. Really important to be open with those around us and ask for help when we need it. I’ve learnt to identify triggers for anxiety and then I can try and manage it or ask for help with dealing with the cause. But it’s never easy. Best wishes, stick at it 🙂 #AnythingGoes

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  4. Having suffered from anxiety and depression myself I know how hard it is to cope with these thoughts. There will come a time where these thoughts pop up less, I know it’s hard, but keep going xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow they are very real thoughts. It must be a constant struggle. Writing must help. Keep sharing with us. ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “The mind is a very powerful tool that can work for or against you. This battle was every bit as mental as it was physical. I couldn’t let the darkness that came at night control the outcome of my days. I had to be fearless, fight through the pain, and face the unknown.” A quote by Dave Liniger.

    Hope this puts some of what you dealing with into perspective and hoping that it will get better #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Okay, I’ve just checked mine and it is https, which means secured. I’m not sure how we could make it more secure than that since I’m using the same protocol as #AnythingGoes. Do you have recommendations on how I can do so?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for checking it out, all I know is that when added some badges the some did not have that secure padlock you see at the beginning of the site. I had to take down all the badges to then make ny site secure or else when people tried to click on my site it would come up with a warning saying my site was not secure

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