Hair pulling and autism

Hey readers,

One of my problems due to my depression and autism is that I can pull my hair out. I link it to sensory purposes as sometimes I am so numb that I want to feel something or hurt myself. I have been knowing to pull and yank my hair when I am very distressed. I have ripped out clumps of hair when I am going through a meltdown or when I am really angry because I don’t always have the communication skills to express myself. Sometimes, I feel that I need to punish myself because I am not a good parent. I hate myself and worry that I am royally screwing up my children because I have a disability and can not always give the opportunities that other parents can give to their children.

I know it is not the ‘normal’ way to self-harm that has been popularised over the years. I get so frustrated and hurt myself due to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy due to my autism.  I know this is a sad state of affairs but it is true.

I have always struggled with my autism probably because of past responses of parent/carer when I was younger of not being good enough or the adult of my care being in denial and rejecting my diagnosis. Even to this day I still battle with the thoughts frequently.

I have discussed in a vlog before about skin picking but I haven’t mentioned hair pulling because I was in a bit of denial. I feel through the autism community is good online in accepting and promoting praise for the disability. I feel that if you were to pipe up and say actually sometimes I don’t like being autistic, that you might get abuse and people won’t like you. I guess I am not yet that strong to always speak out and be honest about how I am feeling. I think it is something with time and with my confidence in blogging writing it will come out.

Maybe one day I may get so bad that I need to look at treatment to sort out my hair. One way could be a hair transplant. look into hair transplant cost

Cheers for reading X

42 thoughts on “Hair pulling and autism

  1. I have an autistic niece who pulls out so much hair she has a small bald spot, but I have also come across children who are not autistic and do the same thing almost as a habit #blogginggoodtime@_karendennis

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We’ve had experience of this. We’re trying to provide low key support while not making a big deal of it and disguising it while it grows out. Really pleased to see this isn’t an uncommon issue.

      Thank you for this post, it’s come along just at the right time! I’m sorry you didn’t get the support you needed though.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so glad to hear it had been of help. I know it is not the most populised problem with autism so it can be hard to.find info about. It sounds like.you.offer fantastic support makes all the difference X

        Like

  2. You are brave and open and amazing. We can all beat ourselves up for not being good enough parents but most of us do out best with the cards we are dealt. I wonder if my daughters knots in her hair are a result of her yanking away at it. Keep sharing as you help others when you do and hopefully yourself too #ThursdayTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sorry to hear this love. I’m also sorry to hear that you weren’t always given the support you needed when you were younger. I regularly read your blog and it comes across loud and clear that you are a fab Mum to your boys – pls try your best to be kind to yourself. xx #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for being so honest about this. It is a pity that the autism community can sometimes turn in on itself. I think that you should talk about all aspects openly and honestly. My son recently went through a difficult time where he said he hated autism and hated being autistic, we knew it was a cry for help. I don’t like it when anyone tells me what I should think or feel they are my feelings! #POCOLO

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so sorry that this is something you have to deal with. I think it’s great that you are willing to share your experiences though, I’m sure your words will help out other people! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is hard knowing what to share/write about autism. I wrote a post back along that I was nervous about sharing, but why should people embrace something they don’t want to just because of public pressure? I feel for you, it is hard raising children at the best of times, but I have no doubt that you are doing a great job and that your autism will give your children a greater understanding of the condition. Think of the good it can do!

    #PoCoLo

    xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dealing with Autism must be so hard and such a challenge. I know sometimes I can truly hate myself for my OCD, anxiety and depression and feel like I am failing my kids and myself too. You are so brave speaking out, I think when we open up we find out that we are not so alone, that so many others are reacting to our struggles. I hope you can find some great support and see the amazing persona nd mother you are. Thank you for being part of #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your experiences! Reading this reminded me of an occassion when I was about 12 years old, and got really upset with my mum. I felt so much anger and frustration, and went into the bathroom and pulled some lumps of hair out. If it was my daughter I think I would have shown sympathy, but my mum just seemed angry and disappointed in me for doing it. I’m sorry you haven’t had much sympathy either with this problem, and I’m glad to see there are many understanding and encouraging comments on this post. As you say, hairpulling is not talked about very often and I think many feel ashamed about it. You shouldn’t need to feel shame at all and it’s wonderful that you’re sharing so others can feel less alone, and get more understanding xx
    #PoCoLo

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey lovely, hope you’re ok – having read the post and the comments there’s a lot of support for you in this online community. Take care and be gentle with yourself, thanks for linking to #PoCoLo x

    Liked by 1 person

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