I am on my period and it sucks physically and mentally. Each month it feels like hell!
Ever since I gave birth something happened to my biology and it impacts my emotional responses when I have a period each month.
I feel like it is a battle mentally, I am a washed with dread. I am terrified and on edge. I feel like I am literally on eggshells, I break down at the slightest thing. I feel fragile and terrified. My adrenalin is so high and I can’t sleep which doesn’t add to the mix.
I am raging and want someone to give me concrete answers to such grey questions. I feel like I will always be like This and I get so angry because I want to run away from myself but I am stuck with me. I hate it and I get so jealous of the husband who is so carefree and relaxed. I hate anxiety, the way it torments me and makes my thoughts going into a fast racing mode. Why do I have to be like this, every fucking month? I hate it and I feel rubbish. I am non-stop shaking inside and out. I know the mood swings have got worse since I entered motherhood. Every month I am like this, there are times when I wish I could just rip out my womb!
If the emotional side of having a period was enough to deal with there is the pain that comes along with it too and again it is considerably worse. Before my first pregnancy, I would suffer mild cramps that I could manage with some paracetamol. Now, I want to cry from the pain in my stomach. I feel like someone has punched me in the vagina and every time I have a poo it reminds me of being in labour and pushing out a baby. I can’t lift my sons up as my back during the time of the month is so achy and feels like I have spent all day bend over when in reality I have done sod all.
I just needed to rant as I have had these for six years and if sucks being female sometimes.
Cheers for reading X