Mother fudging guilt! 

Hey guilt,

We don’t need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.
I an just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will but up a fight. There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put  up a fight most days, while you hoover in the  background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do . I don’t get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don’t know what to do. All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I’m not certain but I’m sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

 

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from you guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I’m the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.
Right now I don’t care anymore and no I’m not 100% perfect but I’ll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.
I work my ass off, I try to do all them things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to you guilt I want to say f*** you.

yours,

a tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

 

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “Mother fudging guilt! 

  1. Mum guilt is the absolute worst. I give myself such a hard time over things and I probably shouldn’t. I didn’t really understand it was a thing before children, but now we are too well acquainted. #triumphanttales

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We are our worst critic and have the loudest inner voice. The key is, find where the volume button is and turn it down. Life is hard, throws curve balls, and kids are needy. That sometimes makes us, the moms or dads or guardians, act like monsters. And then we can give authentic apologies and teach our kids empathy. SOunds like you are doing all right. #stayclassymama xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s always there isn’t it?! Can’t do right for doing wrong, every decision is backed with guilt for not taking the other decision. The thing is half the time the kids don’t notice these decisions they just need love, which they have in abundance x
    #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think mum guilt is just a part of being a mum. Lets be honest no one is perfect and i think feeling a little guilty here and there only means you strive to do and give your best to your children and that is not such a bad thing really is it. Sometimes though it can become all consuming and that is when it really becomes a problem. Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s