My boy of late…

Hey readers,

I have a confession to make, today was hard day for me mentally, not only am I dealing with my  own issues but also them of  my son’s. Today he had a major meltdown which left us at breaking point. Not just for me I think, but actually for my husband as well. My husband is normally chilled out and causal about stuff so, it must be pretty bad when he is worried about how he will not only mange  with his wife’s autism (he is my carer as well) but potentially his son’s.

back

I am currently sat in the other room because I really can’t cope at this point with my son’s screaming for over an hour.

We went to visit a butterfly farm locally to us, today, the butterflies are in a massive green house room and can freely flutter by. Here is where the problem lies, my son had a meltdown at this place because he could not cope with the butterflies random movement (which  I struggle also struggle with) but had taken medication to physical effects of anxiety).  He is 5 years old and is an independent walker however, my husband had to carry him around as the only place where he was calm after the heightened anxiety was where the butterflies were not in one of the other areas. The moment he stepped back into the arena where all the butterflies were that was it again, he just could not cope with it and was panic attack.

All afternoon he has been on a roller-coaster of emotions. But finally he has settled to just streaming and I mean screaming. He literally has to be restraint because of how violent his behaviour has become. He is biting, scratching, hitting, and lashing out and potentially harming our youngest.

Now,  I have been on a parenting course where it is frowned upon restraining children. I am very conscious of this. I do not do it under any circumstances but when it is a situation where risk involved and the child is hurting themselves and no other way can help that child stay calm then is not much left we could of done.

tea

Now you are wondering have we been to the professionals to discuss our concerns and the answer is yes, several times. Let me tell you the background, firstly he started school this September so we approached the school to see what his behaviour was like and to ask for guidance. They did observe but didn’t feel any worries. So, we went to our GP, he said to speak to the specialist person. SO we did and filled out our worries on paper, then they would investigate. That was fine, they came back to us I think within the month saying that they have taken on board our concerns but because his behaviour is not affecting him at school that they can not really do anything. However, they did say that come back in a year and see what is behaviour is like and see if any behaviour changes have occurred.

Well that is great help because as most of us know generally children are totally different when they are school, it is a different environment etc. I asked my cpn (community psychiatric nurse) who see’s me for my mental health what his advice is because he may have had experience and what he thinks we should do.

He said that the only path at the moment is through the school or GP. So because my son’s behaviour is masked (because I know for one he copies a lot of behaviour, he is very similar to me. I kid you not my husband always says that talking to him is like talking to me).

cold

So, basically there is no other avenue, because apparently if the child is perfectly well behaved then the child will go through the net but if the child is extreme then they will get the help they deserve. Bearing in mind that these teachers are looking after 30 odd children so they can’t spend long periods of time with them individually. It is just so frustrating right now because we just don’t know what to do but one thing is for sure no seems to care if your not extreme. They see the whole picture and that is what really sucks.

I am writing this so that I can document my journey with my eldest, who knows where we will end up but his behaviour is erratic and there is genuine concern there.

Cheers for reading X

Dear Bear and Beany


The Tale of Mummyhood

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “My boy of late…

  1. Brave post. My son is getting extra support for the transition to junior school in September due to anxiety, I am lucky that he has good support from his school to help him reach his potential #blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry that that you’re having a difficult time as a family. It’s really not good that you aren’t receiving the support that your son needs, the right pathway can make all the difference. Thanks so much for sharing such a brave post with #Blogstravaganza xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I work in a school as a SEN TA thank you for being so brave in writing this blog. ..so many suffer in silence not knowing where to turn. We have a few children in our school that have 1-1 learning mentor support because they are unable to cope.
    I’m sorry your not receiving the support you both need

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve started blogging about my life journey which includes meeting Finn@explodingheads there are alot out there that say somebody with autism and depression can’t have a lasting relationship we get married in 2019 and ive included him in every aspect so that it will be a super day for both of us

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so sorry, I can only imagine how frustrating that must be. I find it baffling that the professionals take the view that if it’s not a problem in school then it’s not a problem. Home life is a huge part of children’s lives and behavioural issues at home cause huge stress for the whole family. I really hope you can get the help and support you all need. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m so sorry to read this. I don’t understand why they are taking this view, just because of how he is at school. I find my children are more themselves when they are at home in the comfort of their house. I hope you get some support soon. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I hope something changes and you get more help. Perhaps is depends on the school, though I worry what happens when your son changes classes. Take care. #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It is truly frustrating at times. People who spend relatively small amounts of time with your child seem to have more input in decisions than parents who really know them. I hope you can all get support soon.x #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s