What do you see 

I want the ground to swallow me up,

I see you all staring

Waging that finger.

Your judging eyes only see

What is in front of you

You can’t see the pain

Of wishing to vanish

To get away from this rubbish.

No one tells you in these

Parents classes,

How to be when your standing there

All alone in this mindfield

Of confusion and misery.

Preventing burnout

Hey readers,

It is the end of the week, yet again I am pooped, my body is aching and I feel like I can do the bare minimum. I can only come to the conclusion that I am suffering from burnout. As an autistic person I don’t have as much energy as a neurotypical person because It takes a lot more energy to deal with my difficulties that I to face throughout the day. So, I am have been searching recently on ways to try and help ease the burnout and thought maybe others would like to hear on what has worked for me.

burnout 1

Make sure that during the day I have time out, where I don’t have to think but just be. This is not a time where I learn anything or have to remember certain cues, it’s a time to allow my brain to switch off and relax.

Being kind to myself – so easy to say but putting it into to practice is hard, especially if you are a perfectionist and give yourself a hard time. Looking at the small positive things that you have done during the day is a reminder that you’re doing ok.

burnout 2

Accepting that I cannot be superhuman and my energy is limited. The major thing that I struggle to do is ask for help or accept that it is ok for another person to do something, it does not mean you are a failure.

Being realistic with what you can achieve and focusing on sectioning out the important stuff and not so important. Learning the art of negotiating and leaving somethings for another time helps me make the day not so overwhelming.

burnout 3

Having a list and righting them in order of importance, plus giving those time frames helps me feel less overwhelmed and feel more comfortable about how my day is going to pan out.

What ways help you in dealing with burnout?

Cheers for reading X

Five Chocolate Egg Alternatives

Hey Readers,

Do you sometimes what to get a different Easter present other then chocolate. Well I have selected a few items that are not covered in chocolate but can still be fun to give to a child at Eater.

1. Here we have this bright and fun bouncy Easter animals, such a simple idea. This would also be brilliant to have races on a table with siblings. They are from  baker Ross, (pack of four for £1.65).

bunny toy

2. Something a little bit quirky now are these really cool trees made out of crystal that you watch to see them grow. All you have to do is add water. Great especially if ya child is wanting to learn about science. They are from  Tiger , (£2.00).

tree.png

3. You can not go wrong with a bit of painting can you and these lovely Easter characters look such good fun. They do look the kind of thing where you put in the window when it is sunny and the sun shines through the colour. Great way of getting a personalised decoration too, as all kids love seeing their work on display. They are from  Poundland, (£1.00).

easter craft

4. I am a sucker for a bit of novelty but why not if it gives me a bit of entertainment for children. Here we have a packet of six Easter crackers and they contain Easter themed items inside. They are also great fun and kid friendly way to add decoration to the table too, so win-win all round!  The crackers come from  Poundland, (£1.00)

easter egg crackers

5. Another idea to do with children is to make some Easter cookies and you don’t have to do something extravagant a simple short bread recipe is the one easiest things to do with a kid. I love these cute designs you can get from Hobby Craft, (£3.00).

easter cookie cutters

Whatever way you celebrate Eater, I hope you have a fun time.

Cheers for reading X

 

Days like today!

Hey readers,

I am just sitting on my bed as it is the most calming place for me to think.

mojo 2

Right now l have lost my mojo. I get days where I can’t seem to master the simplest of tasks and just trying to keep the momentum going is a challenge. Why is it I have these type of days? I feel like I totally suck at everything I seem to touch. Life just seems so unbearable and the jealous hits me seeing other mums just getting on with life. Where some days I can’t even be bothered to get up or get dressed. I mean I do because the only think that motivates me is the persistent fear of the fact that social services will come  knocking at my door because I am an autistic depressive.

mojo

Don’t get me wrong there days when I can just plod on but this last week has nearly killed me to get through the days. I think most of the time I fantasise about just getting up and opening that door and running out and escaping myself misery.

I was in two minds to write this down as people don’t want to hear about the depressive mother who appears to be totally ungrateful! I mean there are loads of women that would love this opportunity and I beat myself up all the time for when I am being shit.  But honestly how do some mothers enjoy every single moment because I don’t,  I really don’t. Am I shit mother for saying that, I do not know. However, it does not matter anyway because I automatically have a special place in the shit mum’s club because I am an autistic mother therefore I do not obtain the special innate mothering skills that bond me and my child

mojo 3

 Most of the time I am literally winging it and playing the part through the medium of masking or learning a script. I can be garnered to be mucking up at some point and being told how to be because yet again my autism brain is skewed!

Cheers for reading X