This mother role is hard work, don’t get me wrong sometimes it can be fun, lovely, honaerable. On the flip side you can feel anxious, scared or even dread at times. It is so hard to get it right but sometimes just going along and being there in that you learn a lot more then any manual will tell you. Here is some of the things I have learnt going through the journey of motherhood.
1. Sometimes being a mum feels like a constant treadmill that you have to keep running to keep the balance right. It feels constant and repetitive. Sometimes I get this feeling of restlessness that will never end. For example the never ending pile of washing. Just when you think you have completed all the washing within half an hour there is another load appeared. But you know what it is OK to stop, have a break from it and do something different. Have a day off because you know what you deserve it regardless what the media say!
2. Sometimes you mess up spectacular and you know what I have learnt that it is OK. Nobody provides that perfect parenting book. Sometimes you just winging and learning as you go. Knowledge maybe powerful but experience is also up there with understanding in my opinion.
3. You know sometimes your child may act aggressively towards you. At that moment you just want to shout, “WILL YOU JUST STOP”. What really they need is your attention and affection even if they are being little shits, sometimes there maybe an underlying reason. This was one of my biggest challenges as I have Asperger syndrome which makes it really, really difficult to understand body language etc so I really had to work my butt of to understand and put myself in someone elses shoes. I don’t always get it right because saying and doing ate two different things. But practice and working at it all you can do and remembering that no one is perfect.
4. Learn the art of negotiation and you will find that both child and parent will win. It is tough but give it time and it gets better and your relationship changes. I definitely notice a change between me and my children’s relationships. Sometimes it is hard to listen to your child especially if you have a million and one things to do. you just instant behaviours sadly we won’t always get it. Listening is a valuable skill that will help strength your relationship. It does take time however I can verify that it has rewards in the long term. When I take a step back and listen my child is more willing and responsive. Overtime it gets easier, not always of course because life is not like that. I can confirm though that there is significant changes in a more harmonious environment. Which makes parenting a hell of a lot easier.
5. One of the major things I have learnt through raising my children is patience and dedication. I sometimes have to hold back/ put on a mask or stay quiet. I have found this helps as I can’t always deal with immediate emotional responses due to my disability. I need time to digest and reflect before decisions. I have learnt to wait before I react as I am better mentally prepared to deal with that situation. Sometimes us parents just need to have five minutes away from the child to cool down the sitruation. It helps breaking down the negativity and coming back to the situation at a later date with fresher eyes to deal with it.
Cheers for reading X