I am terribly British as I love a good moan and I have a hatred for queues. As we are fast approaching Christmas it can only mean one thing, mass of people shopping which then incurs bigger queues, joy!
So here are some of my thoughts that have entered my mind whilst moving my feet about and admiring the sweet section near the tills in a massive queue.
- How dare anyone other then me be here. They have a fucking check.
- Seriously, I have just lost half an hour of my life when I could be spending that time at home stalking on Facebook.
- Why did I just not simply use Amazon, FFS!
- Should I or should I not buy some chocolate when I reach the till.
- Life sucks.
- At least while I am here I don’t need to bother with housework or anyone nagging at me. I can just get sore feet from standing around doing sweet F.A.
- Do I really need this stuff, yes of course my life depends on having some cheap emoji socks to brighten my mood.
- I curse my husband, how dare he reuquest me to buy stuff from the shop. He will pay, mwahahahahaha
- Why the fuck is there no signal, I am so not shopping in Sainsbury’s anymore, cunts!
- OMG, I can not believe this shop does not have wifi. Don’t you know it is a human right and now I am cut from human excisitance even though I am surrounded by people it is SO totally different. I need to know what is going on in the social world, what coffee people are photographying or the brilliant cat gifs that are emerging on the web. I think I may need to go to hospital as my arm feels cut of from not accessing the internet for 20 mintures, I am getting serious bad withdrawals.
Cheers for reading X