Things you lose when you become a parent

Hey readers,

When they say your whole life turns upside down when you have children they ain’t fucking lying that is for sure. You can kiss your old care free life goodbye because everything that belongs to you own tangible or intangible you have lost and now is the solo owners of your little darlings.

Let’s hit hard and go for ideals – somewhere amongst the deprived sleep days of your new born you lose a part of you and it can be hard to be found. Nothing makes sense anymore, you lose your shit and you will learn the art of negotiation. Being perfect earth mother  that you so desired during pregnancy failed badly. All you care about now is being masterful in the art of bribe just so you can get some peace even though you probably spend hours after with guilt and dealt.

Anything within eye level has official gone when they start walking.  I suggest hide everything that is precious to you under lock and key. This young ‘uns have skills to find anything they want, the more desperate you are not to let them get it the more they will find a way to sniff it out!

All my stationary is destroyed, used, dried up or vanished in the darkest depths of their bedroom. I was deluded in thinking that if I give them my ‘posh’ fine liners I could sip a cup tea and then be presented with lids at a later day. In actually fact I just gone and lost my beautiful pens, chewed to death, god dame it.

The idea that you pretend you look alright and asking your four year old of what they think of your outfit. The boy is brutal in honesty, “mummy you have a big bum and you look a bit like the wolf in the three pigs”. Don’t ever be deluded and pretend you think you look like as they will bring you back to reality with a hard bump.!

Quiet time where you can watch your programmes, I suggest completely forget it. The child will win hands and down and will take full reigns. Forget watching any of your favourite programme with kids around or learn to read the subtitles but still have the problem of them conveniently being magnetised to the screen and standing there for ages for no other reason then to annoy the crap out of you.

Cheers for reading X

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Pink Pear Bear
Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
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18 thoughts on “Things you lose when you become a parent

  1. Hahaha!! So true. Love this post. The pen thing is so true, what’s that about?? And how I miss quiet time! My daughter is equally as complimentary, she patter my tummy the other day and said ‘oh mummy, a baby!’ I am NOT pregnant! Lol, don’t you love them 🙂
    #MMBC

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bwahahaha….loved this post! I am terrified of asking my youngest what he thinks of my outfit and he’ll tell me straight what he thinks about my whole body!!! Yep and everything has to be locked away. Nothing is ever safe. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

    Liked by 2 people

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