Current mood

Hey readers,

I am feeling fed up tonight. My head is spinning and I have already had a meltdown. Grrrrr so bloody frustrated yet again. Seems to be a common theme recently.

I stated a photography course and really enjoy it. My only downfall is that I want to hold onto every piece of information and if I don’t I hate myself. I don’t know if this is typical with someone with Asperger or my personality that influences that. I hate that I can’t remember all the information even though it is rediciously unrealistic. As I struggle to understand instructions so have to really focus on the teacher talking. Not to mention my anxiety is through the roof as it involves practicals that are social. I enjoy the practial just not the unexpected instructions of what is happening. My teacher is a chatty women, lovely and approachable. But she swaps and changes her thoughts quickly. I be honest I find it hard to cope with. I struggle when information is  not concrete with ideas or thought processes.
So it is built up over the day plus earlier I had a parenting course. So tired and that affects me just like anyone really. Tomorrow I am going to be exhausted as I had a meltdown. I get so frustrated and with lacking the ability to communicate to my husband. He is very intense and sometimes can be a bit overpowering. Luckily he knows more about our camera then I do. So he can give me clear information and practical, logical way of thinking. It is just frustrated with communicated. I suppose it just blew out of portion with feelings of frustration, anger, shame, hurt, anxiety etc.
I don’t know really want the point is of this post just that I struggle to process information. Therefore getting more and more anxious. Then inturn causes self dealt and mood dropping. Making me want to quit and be a recluse.

Cheers for reading X

Sons, Sand & Sauvignon

4 thoughts on “Current mood

  1. It sounds like you’re coping as best you cam. It must be so tough when everyone it just geared up to think these conversions and interactions are no big deal. As the mum of a boy with suspected Asperger’s (They won’t label it yet but hfa and Asperger’s have been mentioned) your insights are so useful for me. Don’t quit and be a recluse! It’s tough, but you can do it 😊 #SpectrumSunday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks it is so hard at times and other times I am ready for it. I write what my moods in so swaps about depending on the time 😉 I mam glad I can provide some insight, remember everyone is different but I am sure you know that X


  2. Oh hun, I hope you are feeling a bit better now! It must be hard but you are doing so well! Even just having the courage to attend groups and courses is great! ( I am a total chicken when it comes to things like that) You may have moments but be proud of what you are achieving lovely! Thank you for joining me on #spectrumsunday hope you join me again this week xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I right on the cupse of the moment. In reflection now I know I have come along but it will always be a battle and that it is something hard to take. Sadly it is the natural the beast X


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