Just come across this term aspie burnout but can wholeheartedly identify. That is how I feel today, I am shattered beyond belief even after six coffees (that is correct) just this morning.
I think because I am more involved socially with taking both boys to nursery. It involves going into two different environments and trying to remember all the rulesrooms. Then again collecting them it is very tiring for me socially. I feel so guilty as I am getting warn out from it all and I just want to shutdown.
I can handle about three hours max at the moment going out and then I am exhausted. I find it hard to focus on conversation, eye contact, dealing with the social situations where I don’t ultimatically know what to do. I get very dizzy and lightheaded. Particularly yesterday I went to a new place and got over stimulated. It causes friction between me and my partner. He wants to know why, why, why and all I really wish to do is scream or hide wide which I can not do either, doh being an adult sucks!
My eyes find it hard to focus after intense periods of time out where I am constantly working and focusing all my energy on being ‘normal ‘. People don’t know when they see me. I am constantly consciously aware of my enviromnent and what I am doing. My body aches from all the tension as I am hypoalert that I should be playing out this role of mother. Not to mention if a child accidently touches me, it freaks me out inside. God I feel so lonely and sad.
Today I hate being autistic and when your husband hints that your child may be autistic. As the older he is getting the more traits their are that could be hinting towards Autism. God I don’t want my children to have Autism. OK there are some positive autisitic traits such as we pay attention to detail, loyal and intelligent but it all comes with a price. I’m scared as sometimes I look at my oldest and he is so like me. I wish it was just him minmicing my behaviour.
Cheers for reading X