Aspie burnout

Hey readers,

Just come across this term aspie burnout but can wholeheartedly identify. That is how I feel today, I am shattered beyond belief even after six coffees (that is correct) just this morning.

I think because I am more involved socially with taking both boys to nursery. It involves going into two different environments and trying to remember all the rulesrooms. Then again collecting them it is very tiring for me socially. I feel so guilty as I am getting warn out from it all and I just want to shutdown.

I can handle about three hours max at the moment going out and then I am exhausted. I find it hard to focus on conversation, eye contact, dealing with the social situations where I don’t ultimatically know what to do. I get very dizzy and lightheaded. Particularly yesterday I went to a new place and got over stimulated. It causes friction between me and my partner. He wants to know why, why, why and all I really wish to do is scream or hide wide which I can not do either, doh being an adult sucks!
My eyes find it hard to focus after intense periods of time out where I am constantly working and focusing all my energy on being ‘normal ‘. People don’t know when they see me. I am constantly consciously aware of my enviromnent and what I am doing. My body aches from all the tension as I am hypoalert that I should be playing out this role of mother. Not to mention if a child accidently touches me, it freaks me out inside. God I feel so lonely and sad.

Today I hate being autistic and when your husband hints that your child may be autistic. As the older he is getting the more traits their are that could be hinting towards Autism. God I don’t want my children to have Autism. OK there are some positive autisitic traits such as we pay attention to detail, loyal and intelligent but it all comes with a price. I’m scared as sometimes I look at my oldest and he is so like me. I wish it was just him minmicing my behaviour.

Cheers for reading X

Sons, Sand & Sauvignon

12 thoughts on “Aspie burnout

  1. No touch hug. I understand. I see traits in our third, both older boys are on the spectrum but I’m not sure I want another child who struggles or sure I can be enough to help all three. I don’t think any of us who aren’t autistic can truely empathise but I think I can see how I might feel about some of it. Perhaps at least your son will have someone who understands some of things he finds difficult at the moment, and that’s good for him. #spectrumsunday

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I also just came across the term ‘Aspie burnout’ (sometimes the online ASD community feels very small!) and can empathise massively with all this.

    I didn’t used to understand why I’d go through periods of just falling asleep on the sofa after a morning of – for instance – lectures at Uni every day. Now, I know what’s going on.

    See, the only reason I realised I was autistic was through my son being diagnosed first (and I suspected the second was on the spectrum before family members pointed out I was too!) so I’ve had the backwards experience from you in that regard. I feel for you, though. It’s tough looking at your kids and thinking they might have a harder time than other people.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks I too used to collapse from uni lectures. So tiring isn’t it, I am glad I am not the only one. I got really guilty watching YouTube videos of mums and the amount they did and just watching it makes me so sleepy. X


  3. I get this lovely. Some days I can’t function and just have to shut down and go to sleep but even then I don’t shut down completely as my dreams are mental. I do too much, I think too much, I feel too much and it makes me ill. That’s the down side of being me. X #SpectrumSunday

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh honey, I’m so sorry things are so tough for you, I don’t really have any advice as I really don’t actually know what it is like, but be sure you are doing amazingly. Just get the rest your body needs as and when you can, and try not t push yourself too much. Sending lots of thoughts your way! Thank you for linking up to #spectrumsunday Hope you join me again this week. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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