Leaky Feelings

Hey readers,

This is a poem I wrote this week. I just let the words flow. I like it because it is messy just like me. I am not refined, nor do I fit a certain way, I am just being me. It shows that Autism is a hell of an emotional roller coaster and that is just in a week. Autism is more complex then how often you have a panic attack you can’t judge or estimate. The condition is ironically ambiguous and unmeasurable. I get angry with certain organisations that think Autism is nothing and don’t appreciate the fact of the complexities of the Spectrum that even for me. Just one individual how much it can change. It’s not free flowing, it has messy wires that don’t fit a criteria. It’s not mental health nor is it learning disability.  It feels to me like it is just a floater and that so many people fob the condition off as bad behaviour. There is so many layers and complexities that you can’t see as its such a invisible condition therefore harder I suppose in once sense to understand.

Can’t stop these feelings,
That erupt inside of me,
They just keep on coming,
Straight right through me.

I just want to stop,
Just for a minute,
To breathe and just be,
But my wires won’t let me bd.

Sometimes I feel too much,
Where other dayd I feel nothing,
Or so I think,
But most of the time I am just struck,
With confusion and wonder.

Sometimes I question how I am,
How I even manage a day,
Others I an in total  denial,
Fooling myself with the fakery.

This is me,
Through and through,
Turmoil will always be,
And my wires tangled up,
In mystery.

Cheers for reading X

Sons, Sand & Sauvignon
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4 thoughts on “Leaky Feelings

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