One of the big issues with my Asperger is anxiety particularly when I go to a new place. So I shall tell you about a such incident so you can get a feel want it is like for me personally.
I took my boys to the zoo this week and as much as I love the outdoors/wildlife the new situation caused me to feel very anxious.
When we went to the zoo it was half term so it was super busy. Also I had not been out as a family for awhile to somewhere new therefore contributed to making me feel even more anxious.
I get overwhelmed with being in new places because I have to take in all my enviromnent.
I feel powerless as I don’t know what to expect as it is new place.
The zoo that day was very loud and busy causing me to get stressed very quickly especially when I have also got to look after my boys.
Another factor causing me to feel anxious was getting caught up in a crowded area. This can make me feel very claustrophobic causing me to feel like running away and hiding.
The noise levels cause my ears to ring.
I can only cope with so many people touching me. Not in a perverse way you must understand but just the sensation of other people touching my skin by brushing past. It makes my skin crawl and itchy.
Having to deal with my son screaming with tantrums and dealing with paranoia due to not having the skills to read facial expressions correctly. Because I have low self confidence I feel very negative and worry what others are thinking of me when they stare at me.
Having to deal with negotiating and calming my son down when I am anxious is something I have to work really hard at. It is very draining for me when I am out that it effects me the next day and I feel dead to the world.
Getting lost and disorientated not knowing where I am in the zoo does not help and makes me panicky.
I find not knowing when the event will end is a struggle for me because of it being ambiguous and not having a plan heightens my anxiety.
In the begining I enjoyed the animals however I did have a mild meltdown due to the overwhelming. This is a result of all the factors I explained previously add up and turn into a high anxiety situation. So much so that I could not communicate clearly and needed to leave due to lack of skills to copy with situation.
However, when I did calm down me and husband discussed what we could of done to make situation better.
1) Take a dizapam.
2) come back during a week day and not in half term when it is busy.
3) should of got a map to work out where we are going.
4 Planning more structure with getting a plan online and working out where we are going and incorporate lunch.
5) Include a coffee break so we can have a drink and refresh.
If anyone has any other suggestions please feel to share as we are returning in a couple weeks again as we have a free return ticket.
Cheers for reading X