It’s OK to bottle feed

Hey readers,

One of the main areas of things that you think about when you have a child is feeding them. I originally tried brest feeding and failed within five days as I was in pain, could not co-ordinate and triggered postnatal depression.

As a mother you want to do your best for your child. The one thing for me as a mother in the begining was trying to br this ideal perfect mother. I had to be able to breastfeed my baby or else I was doomed to failure. I felt this kind of message was reinforced everywhere I looked. There were posters on the hospital walls about the whole breast is best and the feeling that I had to do it succeed. No one teaches you about formula and that you as an individual can make the choice. I went to pre baby classes and the breast brigade forced this ideas of the importance of breast in a very dominated and unhelpful way. The effect of this was damaging and it triggered deep depression and self hatred way I was not successful with breast feeding.

I felt very depressed and felt like I was not what you would call a ‘real women’. I could not co-ordinate no matter how many ‘professionals’ came and shoverd my arms here and there. I could not line up things the right way. I tried every position possible and the only way I would be successful is if someone did it for me.
I felt anger that no one talks to you about the emotional impact of the guilt. I hated myself and the world. Not to mention the emotional impact on the bond I had with my boy. I cut off feelings and attachment towards my son because I could not provide then there was no point connecting as I was damaged. I would just further complicate the situation. I felt I screwed up his development and he was going be retarded and not develop in the correct way.

I was a mess and lack of sleep combined nearly threw me over the edge. Thankfully after seeing my health visitor who said to me give him formula it doesn’t matter as its 90% athe same closeness with the nutrient elements. She said.she formula feed all her children and they are grown u and fine. I can not tell you how relieved and reassured it made me feel. It also gave me confidence and helped build a proper bond with my child.
Now reflecting back I am glad I chose formula because for me it was the right decision. I accept that breast is obviously the natural way. But it is not the only option. We are lucky to have a place where we can provide health and alternatives that are just as good as breast milk.
Everyone is different, we all have our journey and battles to face. Some of us are successful and take breast feeding straight away. But that does not mean your failure if you don’t. What the most important thing to remember is you do what is right for you and your child.

Thank you for reading X
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15 thoughts on “It’s OK to bottle feed

  1. Thank you! I’m expecting my first baby in June and I think breastfeeding is one of the things I’m most anxious about. Thank goodness for your health visitor who helped you to see things more rationally. #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had a similar experience to you, and just could not master breastfeeding (or anything close to mastering it!) and made my self physically ill from trying with my first baby. I ended up in hospital with a really bad case of mastitis because of not getting the latch right, when Ava was two months old and i felt (and sometimes still feel) so guilty. I mixed fed her for two months then was pretty much forced to give up as I was on so many antibiotics and painkillers my milk was contaminated. With Thea I lasted about five days before I had to give up – I think I might have managed longer if she had been my first as she was hungrier, but I think I was psychologically damaged from my experience with Ava and I didn’t want her first months to be clouded with the feeling of failure like her big sister. Both girls are super clever and healthy and happy, so I know with my head that I totally made the right decision for both of us to formula feed, but in my heart I can’t help but feel guilt. When I was pregnant, it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to feed them. What a horrible shock. You totally made the right choice going with formula and you’re right, we are lucky that we have the right water, sterilisers etc to make it perfectly safe and healthy. Really as long as we feed them with some form of milk, and love them, they will be fine! Thanks for sharing on #KCACOLS I hope more mums who might be struggling read this and feel more hopeful. Becky x

    1. Thank you for sharing and sorry too hearyou feel do guilty. My heart goes out to you as I can totally emphasise but you are strong for admitting you struggle and you are good mother as you are putting your needs and child’s first. There are so many people who bottle feed for loads of different reasons so you are not alone. X

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My first baby was formula fed after five days of trying to breast feed unsuccessfully. My second baby I formula fed from his 3rd feed as I just didn’t feel comfortable with it but my 3rd baby was breast fed successfully for nine months. They are all loved equally. I don’t have more of a bond with breast fed baby than I do with the other two. I have a strong bond with all three and it was actually my third baby who ended up with glue ear. Go figure! I don’t think it matters how a baby is fed as long as both m and baby are happy. I do agree that there is too much pressure on mums to breast feed. Yes, we all know that breast is best nutritionally but it’s not always best emotionally and it’s because of the extra pit on mums to breast feed that can cause depression and anxiety when it doesn’t work out – which for a lot of mums it doesn’t.

    #twinklytuesdays

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I had a very similar experience to you. Found breastfeeding utterly excruciating. I sobbed every time I fed my daughter. Then I expressed milk for her for about a month, but I found that so tiring and still a bit painful. Eventually my supply dried up. I’ve grappled with guilt over this for a while but it took writing my own blog post about it to move on! Like you, I think the pressure could have tipped me into postnatal depression if it weren’t for my lovely midwife who came to see me and said ‘You know, you don’t have to keep going with this.’ Just her giving me the option was freeing.

    You’re right, formula is fine for babies! If we have another child I will not beat myself up about it the way I did the first time! Lovely post #twinklytuesday

    Like

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