It’s Tuesday and I am exhausted. I have started to feel like I want to flop with the amount of new information I am constantly been put on me. Not to mention the addition social interactions that have increased causing me to feel overwhelmed.I am also doing a parent course which incorporates each week changes in behaviour, not always easy and over time can be quite daughting especially if I don’t instantly get it. Parenting is so hard, I appreciate it is for everyone but grrrrr I’m frustrated and what smash my head in (I won’t though too much blood to clean up!).
I forget sometimes how for most people having a three hour session sat with a support worker involving talking and wondering round shops can drain me.
I have such a small resources to cope and I have to be careful to look after myself. Don’t get me wrong I have come along way through my autism journey. Where once I hated shopping and constantly have Meltdowns in busy places. Not to mention the fact I hated being around people I would avoid any social contact causing me to lock myself away in my home. Now I can go out and meet people albeit extremely draining after where I need to collapse and recuperate for a good few hourss. I can’t tell you how my body aches after trying to take every word, look at all the detail is for me but it sure is exhausting.
I don’t know what the score is with other aspies but I am constantly trying to balance my life where I am not over stimulated but furthermore not under stimulated. This is a big battle for me as I feel like I am constantly swinging the cradle back and for. I still haven’t met that perfect amount of stimulation and I’m not sure if I ever will. Sometimes I feel like this is part of my disability. However, I am trying to not go overboard on either side particularly draining all my energy as by the end of the week I lose all my motivation to get up and go.
Cheers for reading X