Why do I feel guilty if I wrote anything that is not happy or jolly and meeting perfection. Life is not like and defiantly not in my autistic world. But I am going write it down for you to read and understand an adult autistic person.
Argh, this week gearing up to Christmas is so dame hard with the changes and chaos making me feel disorientated. I forget how mentally exhausting it is and all I want to so is slip in my bed and hide away. All I can hear is noise and light, I love light but soft lighting not the blurring ones. Everywhere I go makes makes my head spin so much I think I am falling everywhere. The meltdowns are increasing and it is getting me right down. I have to put a smile on my face and focus on my children but so hard with all these social rules and fakery.
My husband is the type to follow the social rule to the T and worries a lot about what people think and how we should behave. It is so frustrating trying to live in a Nt world and feel so confused.
This time of year is the hardest, I know very cliché but it is true. We still have only nine days but I will be glad when I can cloe the door from the world and just have to worry about what crap is on TV.
I just wish things could slow down a bit and not be so bright and touchy touchy. I wish people weren’t rushing around and times changing and my routine out of sync.
Cheers for reading X